My FI is adamant about not taking my e-ring with us to Europe. We live far away from where our wedding is, so it's not so easy just to leave it at home after the wedding/before the honeymoon. So we have a few options, none of which I'm crazy about:
--Having my mom ship it back to me after the honeymoon via Fedex (she doesn't live close to me). It would be about $125. Not sure I want to trust a random FedEx employee with my e-ring.
--Having my FI's mom hold it until she comes to visit us (3 weeks after the wedding). She's a bit...flakey? If I can't trust her to get her family's RSVPs back to me, how can I trust her with this?
--Leaving it home and not bring it to the wedding at all. That would make me sad. =(
My e-ring is fully insured, btw. Thoughts? What did you all do with yours?
Does your inurance policy cover loss if it happens internationally? What parts of Europe are you going to? If you are going somewhere where there is a risk of you being mugged I could see wanting to leave it at home. But as long as you are going somewhere safe and it is going to stay on your finger, I don't see the harm in taking it.
Another alternative is to not bring it to the wedding. Leave it locked up somewhere safe in your house. Or leave it with your mom until you come to visit her at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Also, an expensive piece of jewelry is much different than an rsvp card.The former involves her NOT losing something, whereas the latter requires her actively contacting people for their rsvps. One is relatively passive whereas the other is active, so flakiness would be less of an issue. I am sure it would be fine if you left it with her too.
My fiance popped the question the very first day we were in Europe. I wore my e-ring everyday for the two weeks we were abroad and I had no problems. You should be fine.
I wear my rings. Everywhere. I travel a lot for business, both nationally and internationally. It has never occurred to me to leave them at home. I don't know what your FI's issue may be, but you're no more likely to have them stolen in Frankfurt or Paris or London than in New York or Los Angeles or Chicago.
And, seriously - it seems weird that you say he is "adamant" that you leave the ring at home. Do you not get a say in this?
I think maybe your FI has seen "Hostel" too many times. Most of Europe is actually safer than major U.S. cities.
But, you know, since he's so "adamant" about it (that made me shudder, but the way) lock it up in a safe deposit box while you are gone. DO NOT ship it Fed Ex. They wouldn't even replace a coffee maker (wedding gift) that they lost on the way to my house -- I doubt they will replace a ring.
I agree with the above posters. I would never consider taking off my ring for a trip unless I was going somewhere very dangerous, in which case I would not be going there for my honeymoon!
Where in Europe are you going? Have either of you been before?
Thanks, all. I don't wear it all the time -- it's a rather large ring, and that's the reason I'm so excited to have my wedding band, as it's a solid white gold band that isn't so flashy. Frankly, he would want me to leave the e-ring at home wherever we go on our honeymoon. We'd be tourists anywhere we go in cities we've never gone to and don't speak the language. Wanting to decrease the risk that it would get stolen in the first place isn't so farfetched, so please don't let it ruffle your feathers too much that he's "adamant" about it.
ChelseaMorning, yep, it's covered anywhere. We'll be in Paris, Munich, and London. Caroline, actually, we shipped the center stone via FedEx to be set. As long as you have the additional insurance with them, they'll replace it up to its full value. MsB, nope, never been.
Would it be strange to not have my e-ring at the wedding? I would feel strange without it, but at least we would have peace of mind that it's in a safe place.
My best friend went to mexico for her honeymoon and left both her engagement and wedding rings at home.
We are going to Florida and I am wearing my wedding band but leaving my e-ring at home. I just don't want to lose it, or lose a stone if it gets smacked around on a ride at Universal or something (I know... I'm paranoid, but better safe than sorry!)
Personally I would leave it with your mom. OR - what about your MOH? Can you give it to her after the wedding for safe keeping? Or your MIL?
He's not the boss of you. :) Why does he care so much about the ring?? Wear your rings. He's being a little silly. They are perfectly safe on you in Europe, just as they are perfectly safe of you in the good ol' USA. Is he going to "let" you wear them here?
On another note - you all need to calm down about him being "adamant" about her not wearing them. I'm sure he's not going to smack her down for wearing them or anything. I can see where he is coming from... you just never know. If you wear them at home and then misplace them, you are a lot more likely to know where they are, and be able to find them. Also - Tourist hot spots CAN be dangerous in terms of muggings... calm down people! Your FH has never been adamant about anything?
If your ring is insured then I don't see any danger in wearing the ring. But is it something to fight about as a newly married couple? Probably not. If he feels that strongly about it, don't take with you on your HM. But personally, I would want it on my wedding day, for pictures etc. Can you take it with you and not wear it? Or wear it around your neck so it's not on your finger?
i bought what i dubbed a honeymoon band. basically, just a white gold knife edge band without any diamonds that sits nice and flush with my e-ring. i left my e-ring and diamond wedding band in a safe and wore my honeymoon band for our honeymoon. i loved that the ring said married but didn't scream target.
for other big trips i have and will leave the dimonds in a safe and wear the honeymoon band.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being "adamant" about your safety. He ultimately is just looking out for you.
Mr. Cupcake and I discussed this as well, because regardless of where we go we are still tourists and that still makes us targets in some ways. I'll be wearing my wedding band but leaving my engagement ring at home.
I think you should wear it on your wedding day and then leave your e-ring with your mom, if you feel okay not getting it back until you see her again. I wouldn't ship it, but that's just me.
You could check with the hotels you are staying in and see if they have lock boxes - whether in each individual room - or one main one at the front desk that is 24 hours supervised ...so you can leave it at the hotel which you go out and be a tourist but still be able to check it every day.
I would definitely not suggest leaving it at home and not having it for your wedding day, I would be so sad not to have my engagement ring with me when I got married!
There will be tons of women with much larger rings walking the streets of Paris, Munich and London, believe me :)
If you want to leave it home then do so. I personally think that the e-ring was bought to be worn, and that you will be safe in Europe with it on, but if you don't feel comfortable then leave it home. I would recommend flying over without it if you don't want to wear it on your honeymoon. That would be much easier than getting it transported back.
I wouldn't ship it either. Another option if you want to bring it with you to Europe, but worry about it catching someone's eye, is to turn it around so the stone is towards your palm. My stone is not huge, but I do this sometimes when in a less nice neighborhood. Unless you're going somewhere that has a known high crime rate, I'd probably bring it (not that I'm saying you *should*).
Mine's been all over Greece, backpacking with us in Yellowstone, etc Part of our justification in spending the money on our rings was that they would be worn and loved everyday, so the cost per day is small!
If you don't bring it with you, I'd leave it with your mom. Seems like the best bet.
It must be pretty big if you're worrying about it getting stolen. My e-ring is over 2 ct. and I also have an antique right hand ring that I wear (not that the same time for the most part) that is over 3ct. and I travel with them both and have never had a problem.
Guys, I really think you're reading way too much into the "adamant" thing! We're not fighting about it. We're discussing what to do, which is why I turned to you for opinions. Really. It's okay. We're just trying to come up with the best and safest solution for both of us. We're just really excited to be leaving in a little over a week for Europe, and we don't want anything to mar what I'm sure will be a wonderful trip.
Thanks to everyone for your opinions. BOP, your honeymoon band is a great idea. That's basically what my wedding band is (it's a plain band without diamonds). I think the best bet is to wear the wedding band, and leave the e-ring with my FMIL.
Hi Rebecca, It seems like most women are telling you to wear your e-ring, but I have to disagree. Like you, I have a large e-ring, and I never travel internationally with it. In fact, I don't even wear my e-ring all the time in the US! If I know I have to go to a dangerous place, or a place by myself at night, the e-ring stays home. There is no need to draw attention to yourself. And, in fact, many insurance policies for large diamonds limit how often you can wear it and make you keep it in a safe for part of the year. That's just the nature of the industry.
Yes, it's true that you can be mugged in the US just as easily as you can in a foreign country, but unlike what some previous posters mentioned, very few women in European countries wear large engagement rings. In fact, it is a very American phenomenon to have large diamond rings. And even if you have done extensive traveling (as I have), no matter what, you will probably stand out as tourists. Why advertise that you have a $$$ piece of jewelry on your finger? Your honeymoon is supposed to be a time to relax, not worry about whether people are sizing up your hand.
And the fact that it's insured is pretty irrelevant. If you were to be mugged, losing the diamond and having to replace it would be the least of your worries. I would think the bigger worry would be your personal safety and life!
Just like you, my wedding band will be a plain platinum band that will match my fiance's. We did this both because we like the symbolism of matching bands, and also because I want to be able to travel with it, unlike I would feel comfortable doing with a large eternity band. Thus, I would recommend leaving it at home with your mom.
My FI is adamant about not taking my e-ring with us to Europe. We live far away from where our wedding is, so it's not so easy just to leave it at home after the wedding/before the honeymoon. So we have a few options, none of which I'm crazy about:
--Having my mom ship it back to me after the honeymoon via Fedex (she doesn't live close to me). It would be about $125. Not sure I want to trust a random FedEx employee with my e-ring.
--Having my FI's mom hold it until she comes to visit us (3 weeks after the wedding). She's a bit...flakey? If I can't trust her to get her family's RSVPs back to me, how can I trust her with this?
--Leaving it home and not bring it to the wedding at all. That would make me sad. =(
My e-ring is fully insured, btw. Thoughts? What did you all do with yours?
posted by rebecca 986 posts 2 months agowhy can't you take it to europe? if it stays on your finger at all times what's the danger?
maybe i'm just naive...?
posted by JanieLeigh 49 posts 2 months agoDoes your inurance policy cover loss if it happens internationally? What parts of Europe are you going to? If you are going somewhere where there is a risk of you being mugged I could see wanting to leave it at home. But as long as you are going somewhere safe and it is going to stay on your finger, I don't see the harm in taking it.
Another alternative is to not bring it to the wedding. Leave it locked up somewhere safe in your house. Or leave it with your mom until you come to visit her at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Also, an expensive piece of jewelry is much different than an rsvp card.The former involves her NOT losing something, whereas the latter requires her actively contacting people for their rsvps. One is relatively passive whereas the other is active, so flakiness would be less of an issue. I am sure it would be fine if you left it with her too.
posted by chelseamorning 208 posts 2 months agoMy fiance popped the question the very first day we were in Europe. I wore my e-ring everyday for the two weeks we were abroad and I had no problems. You should be fine.
posted by Valerie 16 posts 2 months agoI wear my rings. Everywhere. I travel a lot for business, both nationally and internationally. It has never occurred to me to leave them at home. I don't know what your FI's issue may be, but you're no more likely to have them stolen in Frankfurt or Paris or London than in New York or Los Angeles or Chicago.
And, seriously - it seems weird that you say he is "adamant" that you leave the ring at home. Do you not get a say in this?
posted by suzanno 1,955 posts 2 months agoI think maybe your FI has seen "Hostel" too many times. Most of Europe is actually safer than major U.S. cities.
But, you know, since he's so "adamant" about it (that made me shudder, but the way) lock it up in a safe deposit box while you are gone. DO NOT ship it Fed Ex. They wouldn't even replace a coffee maker (wedding gift) that they lost on the way to my house -- I doubt they will replace a ring.
posted by CarolineG 284 posts 2 months agoI agree with the above posters. I would never consider taking off my ring for a trip unless I was going somewhere very dangerous, in which case I would not be going there for my honeymoon!
Where in Europe are you going? Have either of you been before?
posted by MsB 212 posts 2 months agoThanks, all. I don't wear it all the time -- it's a rather large ring, and that's the reason I'm so excited to have my wedding band, as it's a solid white gold band that isn't so flashy. Frankly, he would want me to leave the e-ring at home wherever we go on our honeymoon. We'd be tourists anywhere we go in cities we've never gone to and don't speak the language. Wanting to decrease the risk that it would get stolen in the first place isn't so farfetched, so please don't let it ruffle your feathers too much that he's "adamant" about it.
ChelseaMorning, yep, it's covered anywhere. We'll be in Paris, Munich, and London. Caroline, actually, we shipped the center stone via FedEx to be set. As long as you have the additional insurance with them, they'll replace it up to its full value. MsB, nope, never been.
Would it be strange to not have my e-ring at the wedding? I would feel strange without it, but at least we would have peace of mind that it's in a safe place.
posted by rebecca 986 posts 2 months agoInteresting!
My best friend went to mexico for her honeymoon and left both her engagement and wedding rings at home.
We are going to Florida and I am wearing my wedding band but leaving my e-ring at home. I just don't want to lose it, or lose a stone if it gets smacked around on a ride at Universal or something (I know... I'm paranoid, but better safe than sorry!)
Personally I would leave it with your mom. OR - what about your MOH? Can you give it to her after the wedding for safe keeping? Or your MIL?
posted by kpenn 53 posts 2 months agoHe's not the boss of you. :) Why does he care so much about the ring?? Wear your rings. He's being a little silly. They are perfectly safe on you in Europe, just as they are perfectly safe of you in the good ol' USA. Is he going to "let" you wear them here?
posted by KateMW 483 posts 2 months agoOn another note - you all need to calm down about him being "adamant" about her not wearing them. I'm sure he's not going to smack her down for wearing them or anything. I can see where he is coming from... you just never know. If you wear them at home and then misplace them, you are a lot more likely to know where they are, and be able to find them. Also - Tourist hot spots CAN be dangerous in terms of muggings... calm down people! Your FH has never been adamant about anything?
posted by kpenn 53 posts 2 months agoIf your ring is insured then I don't see any danger in wearing the ring. But is it something to fight about as a newly married couple? Probably not. If he feels that strongly about it, don't take with you on your HM. But personally, I would want it on my wedding day, for pictures etc. Can you take it with you and not wear it? Or wear it around your neck so it's not on your finger?
posted by LisaL 56 posts 2 months agoi bought what i dubbed a honeymoon band. basically, just a white gold knife edge band without any diamonds that sits nice and flush with my e-ring. i left my e-ring and diamond wedding band in a safe and wore my honeymoon band for our honeymoon. i loved that the ring said married but didn't scream target.
for other big trips i have and will leave the dimonds in a safe and wear the honeymoon band.
posted by birdofparadise 44 posts 2 months agoI don't think there's anything wrong with being "adamant" about your safety. He ultimately is just looking out for you.
Mr. Cupcake and I discussed this as well, because regardless of where we go we are still tourists and that still makes us targets in some ways. I'll be wearing my wedding band but leaving my engagement ring at home.
I think you should wear it on your wedding day and then leave your e-ring with your mom, if you feel okay not getting it back until you see her again. I wouldn't ship it, but that's just me.
posted by cupcake 274 posts 2 months agoYou could check with the hotels you are staying in and see if they have lock boxes - whether in each individual room - or one main one at the front desk that is 24 hours supervised ...so you can leave it at the hotel which you go out and be a tourist but still be able to check it every day.
I would definitely not suggest leaving it at home and not having it for your wedding day, I would be so sad not to have my engagement ring with me when I got married!
posted by HumarockBride 179 posts 2 months agoThere will be tons of women with much larger rings walking the streets of Paris, Munich and London, believe me :)
If you want to leave it home then do so. I personally think that the e-ring was bought to be worn, and that you will be safe in Europe with it on, but if you don't feel comfortable then leave it home. I would recommend flying over without it if you don't want to wear it on your honeymoon. That would be much easier than getting it transported back.
How big is this rock? :)
posted by MsB 212 posts 2 months agoI wouldn't ship it either. Another option if you want to bring it with you to Europe, but worry about it catching someone's eye, is to turn it around so the stone is towards your palm. My stone is not huge, but I do this sometimes when in a less nice neighborhood. Unless you're going somewhere that has a known high crime rate, I'd probably bring it (not that I'm saying you *should*).
Mine's been all over Greece, backpacking with us in Yellowstone, etc
Part of our justification in spending the money on our rings was that they would be worn and loved everyday, so the cost per day is small!
If you don't bring it with you, I'd leave it with your mom. Seems like the best bet.
posted by peihan17 222 posts 2 months agoIt must be pretty big if you're worrying about it getting stolen. My e-ring is over 2 ct. and I also have an antique right hand ring that I wear (not that the same time for the most part) that is over 3ct. and I travel with them both and have never had a problem.
posted by KateMW 483 posts 2 months agoGuys, I really think you're reading way too much into the "adamant" thing! We're not fighting about it. We're discussing what to do, which is why I turned to you for opinions. Really. It's okay. We're just trying to come up with the best and safest solution for both of us. We're just really excited to be leaving in a little over a week for Europe, and we don't want anything to mar what I'm sure will be a wonderful trip.
Thanks to everyone for your opinions. BOP, your honeymoon band is a great idea. That's basically what my wedding band is (it's a plain band without diamonds). I think the best bet is to wear the wedding band, and leave the e-ring with my FMIL.
posted by rebecca 986 posts 2 months agoHi Rebecca, It seems like most women are telling you to wear your e-ring, but I have to disagree. Like you, I have a large e-ring, and I never travel internationally with it. In fact, I don't even wear my e-ring all the time in the US! If I know I have to go to a dangerous place, or a place by myself at night, the e-ring stays home. There is no need to draw attention to yourself. And, in fact, many insurance policies for large diamonds limit how often you can wear it and make you keep it in a safe for part of the year. That's just the nature of the industry.
Yes, it's true that you can be mugged in the US just as easily as you can in a foreign country, but unlike what some previous posters mentioned, very few women in European countries wear large engagement rings. In fact, it is a very American phenomenon to have large diamond rings. And even if you have done extensive traveling (as I have), no matter what, you will probably stand out as tourists. Why advertise that you have a $$$ piece of jewelry on your finger? Your honeymoon is supposed to be a time to relax, not worry about whether people are sizing up your hand.
And the fact that it's insured is pretty irrelevant. If you were to be mugged, losing the diamond and having to replace it would be the least of your worries. I would think the bigger worry would be your personal safety and life!
Just like you, my wedding band will be a plain platinum band that will match my fiance's. We did this both because we like the symbolism of matching bands, and also because I want to be able to travel with it, unlike I would feel comfortable doing with a large eternity band. Thus, I would recommend leaving it at home with your mom.
posted by manhattanlawyer 7 posts 2 months ago