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I usually say "i'm too young to get married!" with a smile and a wink. It usually works pretty well, the person will laugh and not bother me again... till the next time i see them lol
Of course if my boyfriend popped the question, i'd be all over it and down the aisle before you could say "boo."
...but inquiring minds don't need to know that!
I can answer it in 3 words. "The Darn Ring".
that's it.
We already know we're getting married. Check.
We already know when we're getting married. Check.
Our families already know it's going to happen next summer. Check
But I do not consider myself engaged until I have the ring on my hand! Ch-Check!
@akennedy- when people would ask this before i was ready (at like... every holiday haha) I would just be honest and say "we both have some ducks we need to get in a row before we can think about getting married... plus we're happy so what's the rush?." Now that I am ready when people ask I say "ask him" :)
I used to get asked nonstop, since me and FI were together for 5 years before we got engaged. I used to just answer by saying we're happy and we're in no hurry.
Of course, when I got engaged, people bugged me constantly about why I was having a 2 year engagement. Once again I would answer that we're happy and in no hurry.
The real reason we had such a long engagement was money. Both sets of parents wouldn't have been able to give us much with only 1 year's notice, and we had nothing saved. We also both wanted to finish graduate school, but it looks like we won't be done until Dec 2010. Oh well :oP
I hated that question so much and it was always people I wasn't close to who asked! I would usually say something like "Hopefully one day" but to be honest they would then start beating me down with questions or give me 'advice' it was so annoying.
There really is no good response to that question!
i usually tell them they're asking the wrong person. lol. but in all actuality we're waiting on getting us both in the same state/city/location and for me to finish grad school before moving forward.
Him to take me ring shopping! FOR REAL. We'll be a year next Thursday and... it's just time. We've already pretty much set a date and made a bunch of plans- how he wants good beer and to write the ceremony! I just need a shiny. Or even a ring from a cracker jack box.
@Bennie--I know! lol, I would definitely not complain if he went ahead and popped the question anyway! But if people ask, I usually say I'm too young.
And if they press it "Oh so you're not too young to live together?" Then I'll tell them about my career and school goals. Which sound silly. But school seriously would be messed up if I got married because of the way financial aid is. Being claimed as my parents' child has an impact on the grants and stuff I get. And not having a good job with benefits means that staying on their insurance is the way to go. So I mean, it makes sense.
@AKennedy- I don't think that you're being silly to wait. I have been with my guy over 2.5 years and I wasn't ready until about 3-4 months ago for a lot of the same reasons. When I met him I was in my second year of law school, living with a roommate, and 22 years old. I wanted to make it on my own before I got married. I graduated school, got a job at a law firm, got my own place, and got started on my career. When I'd been at my job and living on my own for about 9 months I finally felt like I was stable and had my feet under me. It was at that point-- when I felt like I WAS making it totally on my own.. I didn't need to do that anymore. Now I'm ready. I think that I would have regretted doing it earlier... and might have always wondered if I could have done as well alone.
When people ask if/when we're going to get married, usually, he says yes/eventually and I say no/we're not. We're actually not waiting for anything - or we shouldn't be. We're getting back on our feet after finishing university, enjoying life without having to work all hours for peanuts (we just work SOME hours for peanuts now. :)) We're building the wedding cars (or rather...he's building his. Mine is currently er...less than started) then when they're done, we'll have a great holiday and move on to building the ceremony venue/our house.
Since I estimate that our wedding is at least 5 years away - I better get used to the question: "So when are you two going to get married?"!
Kinda 2 things. Partly just waiting on him to get the ring. We are 100 miles away from each other though so I don't know if the distance is putting him off doing it just yet - despite him saying he wants to get married not long after he's moved to live with me; give me some time boy!
@akennedy01 I am actually comfortable with my accomplishments thus far. I have been with my guy about 4 years, when we met I just finished undergrad and was getting ready to move due to a job offer. So while we were dating I was able to get my career up and running and just about a year ago I decided to go to grad school. As far as completing grad school before I get married, it's not really that big deal to me because I feel that I am financially stable without my master's but it will add some extra traveling money to the mix.
I wasn't thinking about marriage until Feb at the 3 1/2 year mark, so with that being said you are doing the right thing, by wanting to finish your bachelor degree and start your career first.
I am waiting for the ring!!!! Oh and did I say the ring!
I am waiting on the darned ring! We've been together a bit over a year now and are older (I'm done with school etc)... so the only thing that's left is for him to ask.
Mostly outside circumstances. The short sale of his house had him stuck in moving limbo for a long time, and now we're waiting for the closing date and the subsequent wreckage of his awesome credit. Which will sort of stink for finances, but what can you do? He had to get out of the place.
Other issues are my family's money problems and finishing up my BA, but I consider those to be poor excuses not to get married. :P
@akennedy01 - definitely smart of you to want to pass your CPA before getting engaged! i'm a CPA and work at one of the big 4, and have seen so many girls let their CPA studying fall by the wayside as the plan their wedding, buy their house, have a baby, etc. i would recommend getting it out of the way ASAP!
I do like Bennie, I say I'm too young. (I'm 28,lol)They usually go on how they got married and had kids in their early 20s, to which I say at that age I was living it up dating around in college, experiencing life.LOL. They shut up then.
Right now, I'm waiting on him. There is nothing he is really trying to do, besides buy a house and I don't think that will stop us from getting married. I'd get married on the family farm, in a burlap sack if it would hurry this ship up!LOL
I agree with most "waiting for the ring". However i did select other, because my parents have been away (sailing across the Pacific) so i believe the man is waiting to ask them in person, because he already has the ring (somewhere... i havent seen it, know where it is or ANYTHING!!!).
I'm sorry, but that is just the MOST obnoxious question people can ask a woman. I felt "ready" about 6 months before my fiance proposed. I didn't know a proposal was in the works and that he had bought the ring and was planning it all. What I did know is that I was ready for him to ask, so peoples' questions drove me nuts. I just started telling everyone "I am not a mind reader, and I don't plan on proposing to HIM, so ask HIM!!" Some of them did ask him and reported back to me that he had answered "soon" :-)
If he's around, I look at him. "I don't know...", or "I guess we're doing things backward".
If he's not around "it happens when it happens".
I think he may be waiting for me to get a job. Or perhaps for me to start pestering him, which isn't likely to happen.
So I lay the blame on him... >.>
@hello: The only question that could easily get more obnoxious than that is "So when are you going to have a baby?" :P
ETA: Helper bee! Woot!
@ Miss Slice--That's awesome! I interviewed at 2 of the big 4 for internships but it didn't work out. After talking to the SO I think I'm going to try to get an internship with a local firm because neither of us is comfortable with me traveling a ton. (lol, ie I'm such a baby and I don't like to be away from home) Do you travel much or are you in tax? I appreciate the insight, I didn't really think about how I might procrastinate on the CPA exam because of wedding planning... lol, I'm sure I would though. I have such a terrible habit of putting things off! Have you found it easy to balance work and life as an accountant? This kind of scares me, going through the recruiting and interviewing I'm hearing about 70-80 hour weeks during busy season and trying to calculate how many hours I'd want for sleep and where that would leave me for having a family.
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It seems like EVERYONE is asking us when we're going to get married. We've been together only a year but we just bought a house together so it seems like getting married should be right around the corner.
What do you say to people when they ask?
For me, I want to get my bachelor's degree (I have one semester left) and get settled into my career. I also want to pass my CPA exam before getting engaged. I don't know, I just feel like I need to be settled in my career before getting married. This means waiting like 2 more years, but then I'd be 21 and we will have been together 3 years, living together 2.5 years. And I'd feel more ready to get married.
Do any of you have things that you want to accomplish before getting married?