(Closed) What are your biggest arguments about?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

His mother.  Hands down.  Almost all of our “big” arguments have been about her.

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’ve definitely had most of our big fights about one of DH’s friends. He’s always treated him (and also me) very badly, but DH would always make excuses for him. DH has so many great friends and he doesn’t need someone who treats him like crap! But in the last two years they’ve grown apart a lot and DH started noticing how his friend treated him & other people, so it’s not a real big problem anymore. But as soon as this guy comes into town, there’s usually some sort of conflict. Like right now actually, he’s mad at DH because we didn’t tell him we got a rescue dog before we got it! I didn’t know we had to inform him of every detail in our lives lol.

Post # 5
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hmm usually just stupid stuff like whose turn it is to clean something. We also tend to have fights when one of us is cranky and snappy for no reason, and then it turns into an argument about being cranky which is a vicious circle. Oh the life of two graduate students with full time jobs.

Post # 6
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Division of labour.

Post # 7
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Bellagiobride:  Same. He is a control freak. Like, down to how the coffee pot needs to be positioned once it’s brewed. Or how I squeeze the toothpaste. He says I ‘don’t think things through’. We are having the same relationship!

Post # 8
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

when we first moved in together, it was division of labor. after that it’s been very minor disagreements about each other’s families.

Post # 9
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We honestly don’t really fight much. If we do, it’s generally that I’m annoyed/hormonal & he doesn’t let me antagonize him into fighting, and I get mad that he doesn’t care that I’m mad lol. Pretty much silliness. 

Post # 10
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@RahlyRah:  Me too!! It’s so frustrating. How do you guys deal with it?

Post # 11
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We don’t fight very often either. Generally it stems from one of us being “hangry”(hungry angry) and it could be about anything from division of labor at that moment or what to eat. Always resolves once we eat though haha.

Occasionally he’ll tell me I’m grumpy when I’m really just tired or just got up and I’m not awake and when i say I’m not grumpy just tired he just continues with the grumpy comments which acutally makes me grumpy! Bah haha

Post # 12
Member
9062 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

We don’t fight, but I do have moments where I’m snappy. He’s too laid back to care and just tells me to shut up. 9 times out of 10 I’m being stupid, and quickly come to my senses.

We’re both pretty easy going, though. I don’t let things get to me anymore and it helps us get along great. We turn into one another’s rock when we do have something that is actually causing a problem, though.

Post # 13
Member
4660 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@SupermansSweetheart:  OMG HANGRY. I am the worst hangry offender. He jokes he’s going to keep a snickers bar on his person at all times to hurl at me when I get started. I admit I turn into a horrible person when I’m hungry and don’t even realize it until after I eat.

Most bad arguments involve miscommuncations for us, typically something I phrased or spoke in a way he doesn’t like. I admit I don’t think very hard about the way I say things, especially when I’m relaxed and comfortable like I am with him, and he tends to jump to the worst possible conclusion when an interpretation is vague or uncertain.

I really do say things that come out way worse than I meant them to. Sometimes think I have some kind of problem speaking properly, because my tone will often sound like I’m pissy or scornful when I’m actually just tired and I won’t realize it until after I’ve said something that was made upsetting by my tone/connotation of something. My mom is the same way. I don’t really know how to fix it because I don’t hear it.

He’s also working on trying to remember to ask me a question before he flies instantly into anger or hurt. “What did you mean by that?” “Did you mean [insert interpretation]?” “Are you upset/angry?” Instead of directly making accusations about my intent. Especially because being told by someone else what they’ve decided I’m thinking/wanting/trying to do is a SERIOUS hot button for me, so when he does that, it’s like… well I WASN’T pissed, but I am now!

Post # 14
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I wouldn’t say my fiance and I fight a lot but we “bicker” fairly frequently. But a lot of it is miscommunication. He gets tired (which is understandable, he’s a teacher, coaches 2 sports and is a full time graduate student) and I feel like he acts annoyed with me, but I try and take a step back and realize hes just tired. He also makes little comments about me being “lazy.” The reason he says this is because I had to leave my job because they wanted me to commit to a year long contract which I could not do because after our wedding I will be moving in with him 2 hours away. So I have not been working the past 6 months and didn’t take on another job because I am also a full-time graduate student and wedding planning back in my hometown. I think he gets a little jealous that I don’t have to work but I get upset when he makes comments about me being lazy because I got to sleep in until 9 (stupid reason to bicker, right? haha).

Our main fights are over his family. Hands down. 

Post # 15
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@SupermansSweetheart:  hah thats hilarious, reminds me of me! i dont realise im in a bad mood related to being hungry but fi has pretty much twigged when it happens so tries to give me a sandwich

 one thing i really dont like, is when i say im feeling a certain way and fi dismisses it

“brrrrr im cold!!” ….”newname_99, its not cold at all” “well glad YOU’re not cold, but i am” 

“im really tired”  ,,,”you can’t be tired, you slept more than i did”

it drives me insane.

im a bit snappy sometimes but i get over it quickly. when fi is annoyed, it lasts for agggges

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