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My BM are really young (MOH is my sister, she's 18 and my BM is my cousin, she's 16). They are basically helping set up the day of the shower and the Friday before the wedding at the reception hall if there is anything to do. Other than that, their responsibility to just to show up on time on the wedding day.
My gals are older so I know I can count on them. Also, two of them are married so they already went through this.
Is it too bridezilla-y to ask them to do stuff?
I haven't asked them to do a lot, but we had an evening where two of them came over, we watched a movie, and we cut lace and wrapped it around candles. That's a fun way to incorporate BMs while still being able to have some control.
Wedding dress shopping, cake tasting, went to wedding fair, bridesmaid dress shopping, blocking rooms, rentals, invitation making, registry list making, ect. Bridesmaids are there to work, make sure you get your part. Mine are all out of town and I really wish they could be more involved. Luckily gchat is a great way to share websites and show what wedding thing I am obsessed with today :) I'm type A too, but there's lots of things that require opinions in this stuff, so get their support.
My bridesmaids wanted to be involved with the DIY crafty type things, so some of them have helped me make our menus, make a bar sign, make the table numbers, make the candy buffet signs, etc. It's fun because everyone gets to hang out together, and stuff gets done so much faster!
I haven't asked them to do anything on their own, but for the day of the wedding, I may have them be in charge of the schedule and things of that nature. That way I don't have to worry!
hahaha...I actually got an email from one BM saying she felt like she wasn't doing anything...and I responded with, neither are the other 3 girls...It's just my personality. I know what I like and I know that my girls are very busy with their own lives.
My girls all came in town to go dress shopping and that night helped put together my save the dates. I only have one BM that is in town, but she's awesome and has offered to help with the rest of my DIY projects. All of my girls offer help whenever they can, and I'm really thankful for that, but I don't really have much for them to do since the wedding is still a year off.
I'm in the same point but it's not so much that I think I'm being a control freak.
It's just that they are ALL busy as well and as of now FI and I can still handle doing everything. I'm sure when we're closer to the date we'll def ask for help!
I'm interested in this — are there things BMs are "supposed to" help out with?
Not engaged -- but I am a BM right now. Myself and the other BMs have been doing A LOT (at least... it feels like a lot!). I've been doing less than the others because I'm out of town and the others are local, but I still try to help when I can. We helped with the invitations, went bridesmaid dress shopping, we're throwing the bridal shower and we're also planning the bachelorette party. I'm sure we're also going to help put the wedding favors together and I personally took the day before the wedding off from work to help with all the last minute things. The day of I'm literally waking up, going to the bride's house and will be following orders for the rest of the day! (totally don't mean that in a bad way, I love the bride and am HAPPY to do it!!! :) )
I don't think there are things that the bridesmaid is "suppose" to do, besides the shower and probly helping out with things on the day of the wedding, but I think most girls like to go above and beyond. Especially if they're already married.... they kinda already know the drill!
The only things BMs are supposed to help with are planning the bridal shower and batchelorette party. If they offer to help out with other things and you need the help,that's great. I wouldn't expect it,tho,unless they are family members and pretty involved.
My BMs aren't doing a single, solitary thing. I was leaving them to pick their own dresses, but they were all freaking out about it so much, I ended up picking them out and having to buy them.
My BM's aren't do much other than the shower and bachelorette party. We really don't have many projects so there's no need. The one thing they will do is make sure I don't have to deal with any drama. Like I have a couple friends who don't know when to stop drinking. They'll be monitoring them. Pathetic, lol!
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I know that they might host a shower. Is there anything else that you've given your BM to do? I feel that I am being a type-A, control freak and would like to let go and have others help....but how? What can I give them to do that will help me out?
What are you having your BM help with?