(Closed) What are your opinions on getting marriage license before wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: What would you do in my situation?
    Try to plan a wedding in hometown before the year ends : (4 votes)
    12 %
    Get married in courthouse then next year have wedding vow renewal type ceremony and reception : (5 votes)
    15 %
    Wait, who cares about the $4k : (14 votes)
    41 %
    Have destination wedding you really want with close friends and family in 2012 : (11 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1318 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @DDbirdofparadise:  The title is midleading… you have to have a marriage license to get married, even at a big wedding. However, be ready for some very mixed messages about this… a lot of people believe you only get one wedding day…

    Post # 4
    Member
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s really a personal decision… I personally wouldn’t do that for money reasons alone mostly because I feel like it wouldn’t be as special of a day but as long as your honest with everyone and you won’t regret it then who cares. The thing most people have a problem with is when people have secret ceremonies and then lie to all their family and guests and have their big “wedding day” later.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    I would wait for the big wedding.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3453 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @WhiteWedding:  The title is midleading… you have to have a marriage license to get married, even at a big wedding.

    She’s right.  I’m not sure if you thought getting a marriage license made you legally married?  You still have to have a ceremony to make it legal.

    In any case, it’s entirely up to you and your FI.  It sounds like you don’t want a big wedding no matter when you do it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My fiance and I are doing the same thing. Growing up he never really planned on getting married, due to the bad marriages and non-existent ones around him I assume. Anyhow, although he is marrying me he doesn’t want a big thing. He would love to just go to the courthouse. He also does not like to be the center of attention. Anyhow, we are doing something very small before the end of the year for the same reason. If I can get him to agree, we will go to a quite park. I will have a nice dress…maybe not bells and whistles, but nicer than a regular dress. Our daughter will be flower girl, my nephew ring bearer. Our parents will be there with our siblings. Then next year on our ten year anniversary we will plan on having like a renewal of vows celebration/ceremony thing. Yet, if for some reason it does not happen (financial reasons)…I will be happy with what we did have. 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Depending on your state, I am pretty sure that you can file together without actually being married.  Our state allows this–we filed together last year.  However, we’re getting paper married this week–about a year before the wedding–so that we can get health insurance.  We’re not really considering ourselves married–it’s a formality leading up to the actual wedding which will take place in a year and a week.  We won’t consider ourselves husband and wife until we say our real vows in front of our family and friends.  However, since not everyone feels this way about marriage, we’re not telling anyone about the paper wedding.  We’re not even getting dressed up–it’s not our wedding day to us although I am totally using it as an excuse to get sushi.  It all depends on how you look at things.

    Post # 9
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @zomgwut:  That is another great option! I know someone who did this, years ago…and they never celebrated the date of the paper one, they would celebrate the one with the date they had a wedding ceremony. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    6745 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    If your dream is a destination wedding, I would plan one for 2013 and go down to the courthouse and get married for tax purposes this year.  Or, I would have a destination wedding elopment with FI this year and then AHR next year. I don’t think planning a DW before 2012 ends is going to be feasible.

    ETA:  FI and I considered doing a domestic partnership just because we didn’t want to “get married” and have people know that we were “married” before we actually “got married” lol

    Post # 12
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My fiance and I are getting “married” in probably 2014 but we’re doing a secret wedding on 12-12-12, just us two. I wanted to elope and he wanted a wedding so we’re doing both.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I had friends who did this, but then never went through with their wedding.  So they are kinda regretting it now.

    However, if finances are very tight and the extra tax relief would ease financial burdens, I think that’s important to consider. 

    @zomgwut:  I didn’t know that either, thank you for pointing it out! 

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