what are your or SO's parents like? (visitors)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I love when his mom comes to stay because she makes us a ton of amazing food! She talks my ear off, but she is a good houseguest. His dad too, because he is so chill and doesn’t need to be entertained. Just hand him a beer and its all good.

Post # 4
12895 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My parents always do everything for us whether it be at their our or ours.  My mom often brings food over or stuff to cook at my house.  When we visit his parents, his mom does all cooking too.  Their first time visiting since the wedding will be this Thanksgiving, and the plan already was that she would be making Thanksgiving dinner.


Post # 5
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

His parents always take us out – usually to nice places we couldn’t afford otherwise, so that’s always great. My parents will either take us out or cook for us. Both of my parents are amazing cooks, so either option is fine with me! If it’s a birthday or otherwise special event, I will volunteer to cook, though. They still always, always bring something – wine, beer, dessert, salad, etc. And they always clean up!

It’s different, though, because my parents only live about 45 minutes away and visit us all the time, whereas SO’s parents only come to see us about once a year. We see them more often than that, but we are usually the ones to visit them, since they live far enough away that they’d have to stay overnight (and his parents are weird about staying in hotels).

Post # 6
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My husband’s parents come and try to help us out as much as possible. They insist we not take time off work, they can entertain themselves during the day. They grocery shop, cook, do laundry and yard work for us. At first I was uncomfortable with it, but now I’m so appreciative of them coming in and giving us some parental love. They are a little more hippy than my parents, more laid back. They like to watch movies and play Cards Against Humanity. They visit us 4-6 times a year as they are retired.

My parents wouldn’t do any chores without being asked, out of fear of seeming intrusive. They don’t need us to entertain them necessarily, but they don’t seem to know what to do with themselves if we have to work during their visit. They don’t seem totally comfortable sharing our house. My parents strongly prefer we visit them. My parents visit us once or twice a year, they still work long hours.

Post # 7
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

His family makes a huge mess, but they are good about staying out of our way and are easy to get along with.  They are quiet in the morning and have figured out our coffeemaker so it’s all good.  🙂  The only reason they ask for stuff is because they don’t want to overstep and go through my house looking for stuff to do or eat, which I appreciate. 

It’s annoying having that many people in our house in general, and he invariably gets in an arguement with someone in his family, but that’s a different subject.

Post # 9
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@beemyname:  We live close enough to everyone that there is no need for overnight guests. If anyone ever suggested it, I’d sweetly suggest the closest hotel 😛 I don’t do house guests.

Post # 10
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well, my parents have only visited FI and I once that I can remember in the 4 years we’ve been living together.  They have needy animals so it’s hard for them to get away; we usually visit them 3x/year.  Plus, we only have a 1-bedroom apartment, so it’s not like we have any space to host guests.  They stayed at a hotel when they visited, and they only came over to our apartment once for dinner with us and FI’s parents.  I cooked and FI cleaned up after they left, since there was literally no room for anybody else in our tiny kitchen.  We went out to eat otherwise.


Similar story with FI’s mother.  She visits our city frequently, but usually only for dinner or lunch.  She does stay over every so often when she has an event in town and doesn’t want to drive home late at night (she lives 45 minutes away).  She’s never “hung out” at our apartment, she literally just sleeps and then leaves.


In the bright and shiny future when we actually have a HOUSE, I expect my parents will visit maybe twice a year, for 4-5 days at most.  The four of us are capable of sharing living space really well.  They’ll make themselves at home and we’ll all be one happy family for the duration of the visit – I expect it’ll be like when we visit them.  Cooking is usually a community effort – everybody loves to cook, so we all end up pitching in.  My mother will want to help wash sheets / clean the guest bathroom, just like FI and I do when we visit them.

Post # 11
2381 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

when we visit them his mom does everything, she won’t let us pay for a thing or lift a finger, his dad is one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met.   When his mom comes here, she still pays for everything but we are the ones that cook for her etc.   unless we are at work then she will clean, cook, bake.  She always cleans up after herself.   His dad never comes to visit.   

when we visit my parents its the same, except my parents never come visit me ever.  My parents will pay for our hotel room Or if we go out to eat.  When his mom cooks for us she will serve it to us and everything whereas my mom will cook but we need to go dish it out on our own etc.   


Post # 12
1470 posts
Bumble bee

We don’t live together. His family never visits him but when we went to visit his family they were pretty hospitable. We went out a lot, he pays for everything with his mom but his dad treated us. When my mom comes to visit she literally deep cleans, cooks, stocks my fridge etc. It’s amazing…lol she’s compensating for being a major career woman when I was growing up haha


Post # 13
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@beemyname:  His parents live near by so they never stay with us.  But, when they come over they’re very respectful of our house and our rules. They don’t expect us to wait on them but we do of course. They always offer to help cook/clean up which we of course don’t allow,

When my parents visit, they stay in a hotel. They don’t really expect us to do anything for them either. We typically eat out so I don’t have to do any cooking for them.  My parents usually pay for anything, but DH always treats them to a nice dinner.

Post # 14
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

When FI’s family visits, they take us out to lunch.

The last time my family visited, my mom cooked for us.

Our parents don’t expect us to be hosts for them, which is nice. I like my mom’s cooking better than mine anyway!

Post # 15
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I cook where ever we go. My mom can burn water and FI’s mom has NO IDEA how to cook. None. The woman cooks tilapia on a panini press, FFS. They do like to take us out when we visit and let us tour around, it gives them an excuse to get out of the house (they’re both retired now).

FI’s mom is CRAZZZZZZY. My mom is also crazy, but to a more tolerable extent. I don’t know what I’d do if they came out to stay with us for more than like 2 or 3 days (they live in CA). FI’s dad, though, is freaking awesome. I love that guy.

Post # 16
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We live in the same city as both sets of parents. So we don’t really ‘visit’ each other.

But it is a help yourself to anything kind of relationship, we will all chip in if we are having tea or something. We don’t stand on ceremony at all.

When we are round my SDads I or FH usually cook or my FBIL. My SDad can’t cook as kids me and my brother did most of the cooking or we went out. But he wouldn’t expect it just that we like doing it. (I’m a feeder and I do worry about him not that I need to)

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