What are your responsibilities over your guests?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What must you provide your guests?
    Food, any type : (22 votes)
    14 %
    Food, things I know they like : (11 votes)
    7 %
    Food, I choose the type : (16 votes)
    10 %
    Drink, open bar and lots of alcohol : (14 votes)
    9 %
    Drink, alcohol is my decision : (23 votes)
    14 %
    Drink, a cash bar is fine : (13 votes)
    8 %
    Music - everyone needs to dance : (24 votes)
    15 %
    Music - but only as a background : (11 votes)
    7 %
    Proper seating (table, chairs, linen) : (26 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    2620 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    this:: responsibilities were to make sure the guests were warm, dry, well-fed, well-watered, with something to entertain them and enough space to be comfortable


    Post # 4
    852 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @asianyoushi:  I’m their host, so they need to feel welcome and comfortble. I’m their friend so they need to have fun. That’s it.

    Post # 5
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee

    Agree with both of you, though I would also add that I see my responsibility as a host to also ensure they feel appreciated and thanked. You can feed and water them, given them entertainment and all that stuff, but still be a stressed out self-centred bitch, especailly on the day we’ve all be lead to believe is “our” day. If each of my guests doesn’t leave my wedding feeling like their presence was genuiely appreciated, then in my book, I will have failed, even if their bellies are full, their liver is in overdrive, and their feet are sore from dancing too much.

    Post # 6
    559 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My wedding planner told us the reception is our “thank you” to our family and friends for supporting us and attending our big day.  We are planning our reception with our guests in mind, not ourselves.  It’s important to me that they feel welcome, comfortable, and appreciated for the gift of their time and support.  

    Post # 8
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @ZebraPrintMe:  We planned our reception was our guests in mind. We provided a list of hotels with the best costs and directions to local restaurants that we found at one of the hotels.

    We also made sure the gap between the ceremony and reception was not too long. We provided hor devours duing that time too.

    We made sure the venue was nice and professional. We made sure the food was soemthing everyone eats (fried and baked chicken) and we provided a cash bar.

    Our favors were something edible as I hate spending money on stuff people throw away.

    Post # 9
    7207 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It think as host you should keep guests comfort in mind with most major decisions and balance that with your budget and vision. Example, there was a venue that I liked but they didn’t have elevators, so for some of my elderly guests I wouldn’t book it because negotiating the stairs for them would prove most difficult.  Would it matter that only maybe 5 out of 100 guests are affected, for me yes. But if the venue was the most economical I would have gone with it (thankfully I had other options to consider).

    However, that doesn’t mean every single decision has to be a majority consensus (I’m fine with childfree weddings). I think open bars or beer & wine only, are preferble to cash bars, but I don’t knock others who aren’t able to make it happen financially or perhaps for religious preferance (dry bar). So provide sufficent beverage alternatives. I love to dance and want a party atmosphere, so I probably won’t be playing alot of ‘slow’ tunes. 

    It’s impossible to have everything to your guests liking or preference, but I think since it is a “thank for you” them, why not put their desires in the forefront of your mind.




    Post # 10
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @bklynbridetobe:  +1


    I turned down any place with more than 5 steps for the same reason.


    I think you should try to accomodate guests and make them comfortable if possible as long as its within budget.

    Post # 11
    1290 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    In my opinion, you don’t need to have all of the big-budget items of a big meal, open bar, party atmosphere, but I think it’s about hosting a gathering to welcome and thank your guests for coming.  I subscribe to the “if you have your reception at a meal time, you need to feed your guests” idea, and if you agree with an open bar, do that, if you want a dry wedding, give your guests lemonade or at least something to drink that is appropriate, and some sort of entertainment, even if that entertainment is simply mingling with family and friends.

    Post # 12
    48 posts
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @Blonde17Jess:  Those are all great suggestions.

    We hope our guest enjoy everything we planned for them and that they have a fun time. 

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