What are your thoughts on adoption?

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
6017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

How do I feel about using adoption to find a child of my own? Or…..how do I feel about giving my baby up for adoption?

Two different subjects there.

 

Post # 3
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am very much for adoption.  DH and I looked into it when we were having trouble conceiving.  We ultimately decided it wasn’t for us because the adoption laws for our state kind of suck.  The biological parents have 72 hours to change their mind and decide they want to keep the baby, and we wouldn’t even be entitled to any money back that we’d spent.  Not to mention I would be heartbroken thinking I would be getting a baby and then having that dream snatched away.

We looked into fertility treatments, but decided we weren’t ready for that step at the time, and ended up conceiving on our own, just as I was beginning to resign myself to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen without further intervention.

Post # 4
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

IzzyBear:  Ha!  Yeah, would have been good to have that clarified before I posted my response!

Post # 5
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Can you be more specific? 

I’m generally pro adoption – putting kids with parents who want them sounds like a good plan to me.

Post # 6
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

No matter what way I look at it, adoption to me is a beautiful thing. If you’re adopting, you must be an incredibly selfless and genuinely caring person to raise someone else’s biological child as if it’s your own. If you’re giving up your child, you are selfless enough to sacrifice your body and carry a child to term, and to be cognizant of the fact that you are not in a position to give that child the best life it can lead. 

Post # 7
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why do you feel like a horrible person for ever having considered adoption? Adopting a child is a wonderful, beautiful thing. I have several family members who were adopted. I would adopt a child myself if circumstances led me in that direction. 

Post # 9
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

TwinkleBoss:  I think adoption is one of those things where you can say “perfect is the enemy of good”. Is adoption perfect in every way? No. But, do all biological parents provide a perfect situation? No. 

From what I know about child services and foster care- I’d say adoption is a pretty good idea overall. 

Post # 11
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My husband and I are very open to adoption if we are unable to have children of our own. 

What has made you feel horrible for even considering it?

ETA: Sorry just saw you responded!

Post # 12
Member
6017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

TwinkleBoss:  like the PP said, I’m not sure why adopting a child would be a horrible thing. I think it’s wonderful that you would consider giving that child a better life. I’d definitely be open to adoption if I wasn’t able to have children of my own. There are so many kids who need homes and it’s great that there are people out there willing to give them a home and their love.

The only reason I asked which scenerio you were asking about is because while I think it’s great that some people are selfless enough to allow their child to have the opportunity for a better life through adoption, I don’t think I could do it. I don’t think I’d have the strength to do it. I’d also constantly worry that for some reason that child might not find a home and be stuck “in the system” for their whole life.

EDIT: those stories make me wonder how long they were in the system before they were adopted and who the heck adopted them. My husband’s cousin is adopted and he loves his parents as if they were his biological parents. Yes, he has stated that he wants to find his birth parents but I think that’s natural to be curious as to why they gave you up or who they were.

Post # 13
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

TwinkleBoss:  I have 2 good friends who were both adopted.  I know one was picked up from the hospital by her adoptive parents, I don’t know many details about the other.  I know they’re both in loving homes, they both love their adopted families.  The one I’ve talked to about it more said she knows the circumstances in which she was given up and doesn’t feel a need to meet her biological mom, she understands she was given up to be in a better situation and is grateful for that.

Post # 14
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’m an adopted child, as is my sister, and I’m so thankful and grateful that I was adopted by my parents. We were both adopted at birth. I have had no struggles of emptiness, resentment, or rejection toward my parents.

I’ve had zero interest in finding out information about the woman who gave birth to me, because I don’t feel any sort of connection to her.

Are there adopted children that struggle with issues? Sure. But, there are non-adopted children who struggle with issues too. I think you must be reading about some very extreme cases and stories.

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