What are your thoughts on someone throwing their own baby shower?

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

puplelishious:  I would give it the side eye to be honest. Because it is essentially a gift giving party…

Post # 3
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2015 - Banquet Hall

Honestly, I think that if you want to do it then do it. I dont think its tacky. Who will you invite though? 

Post # 5
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

My friend is throwing her own baby shower and many of our mutual friends have been saying negative things. Some have said they won’t be attending. I will add that it’s for her THIRD child, though. She has 2 girls already and this is her 3rd so we just don’t understand. Showers are for gifts so I do believe they should be hosted by someone else. I would even be okay if it was your mother or grandmother. But yourself? Side-eye fRom me. i would just take the money I would spend on hosting and get stuff I need. I would still make a registry because people will buy you things with or without a shower.

Post # 7
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Surely you know what answers you are going to receive. It is totally inappropriate to host your own shower- wedding or baby.

My Dad used to say “Nobody ever promised you life would be fair.” In your case, that may mean you don’t get a baby shower if no one will host it for you. No one  HAS to host a shower. If they want to, they will (including your friends and neighbors).

Even your families could still host a shower. My Mom’s friends were so determined to host a shower for me even though there was no way I could attend, that they presented my Mom with all the gifts, watched her unwrap them, then re-wrapped everything and shipped them off to me.

 

Post # 9
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Showers are supposed to be low key events thrown by a close friend or group of close friends, featuring the giving of thoughtful but  small presents.  To DIY your own shower is deemed tacky because it is entirely self serving and defeats the purpose. Feel free to invite a group of friends to a tea or a luncheon. Then it’s about your guests and their company, not about soliciting gifts for yourself. 

Traditional etiquette is not OK even with a family member throwing a shower because it is like asking for gifts for one of your own. 

Post # 11
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

puplelishious:  Maybe your MIL would be agreeable to ‘hosting’ it then so to speak at your host? So she is the ‘host’ in theory but it’s at your house thus lessening her burden and your husband could organise the food etc?  I would give a gift to a good friend/family having a baby though regardless of whether they had a shower or not anyway so you will likely get preents for baby whether you have a shower or not?

Post # 12
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Do you have a friend who is maybe planning a shower for you?  In my experience, it’s always a friend who hosts, not family. I’m sure that’s different elsewhere.

you could tell your MIL that you are not aware of anyone planning a shower for you, so as of right now, no shower.  You will probably get gifts either way, but I don’t think the point of a shower is to host one for yourself.  

If your husband wants to have a BBQ, then have a regular BBQ but not as a shower, just a party to celebrate your baby!  That will probably be more fun anyways, because then you can have your husbands friends too and you don’t have to play all those shower games

Post # 13
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think you can have someone “host” the shower for you even if you’re throwing it in terms of paying for food etc. Your MIL could be the host – just as the person who’s name goes on the invite or whatever. <br /><br />If you don’t have any close friends or your MIL doesn’t want to you could even send an evite from your husband so in essence he is the one inviting everyone. I don’t see the big deal about throwing it for yourself for your first child because you are excited and want to celebrate but I know many people are against it.

Post # 15
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

puplelishious:  I have no idea. Then again I have no idea why you would host your own gift giving party/event. 

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