What are your thoughts on this

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

With the exception of items 3 and 11 on that list (“make out with a stranger” and “date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face”), I don’t see any reason why those things can’t be done once you’re married.  And neither making out with strangers nor dating two people at once sound like particularly good ideas anyway.

Post # 4
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I get that there are a lot of young people who get married too quickly and may do so for the wrong reasons. That doesn’t mean all young married people are that way, and it doesn’t mean they can’t do things. I think her list is quite stupid and she has poor ideas of marriage. It isn’t sitting behind a picket fence knitting. Plenty of couples travel and have fun. Marriage doesn’t suck up all the fun, but she seems to imply it does.

Post # 5
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@anongirl89:  a lot of the things on the list seems like items you would find on a “what to do over summer vacation” list. Most of them, like PP said, you can still do while married. And not everyone wants a tattoo. And personally I don’t see the fun in making out with a stranger or dating 2 people at once “just to see how long it takes to blow up in your face.”

I think this article is judgemental and not very well thought out. Just because someone gets married (or engaged) before 23 does not mean they miss out on things like higher education or travel. How many married or engaged Bees are in school (undergrad, grad, etc) or travel with their SOs?

And the author is only 22 herself and has never been in a serious relationship. Of course she doesn’t understand people wanting to get married, because she is not in the same situation herself. It’s very harsh of her to say that people are getting married “just because.” It’s not like marriage is easy. She has no experience in the matter, so I don’t really see her as any sort of authority on the subject (I know it’s an opinion piece, but still!). I would respect the article more if it were coming from someone who had more experience in the situation rather than someone who is an outsider looking in and judging.

FWIW: I’m 26, and I’ll be 27 when we’re married, so I’m not one of the people she’s targeting with the article. I just don’t agree with it.

ETA: I agree with the sentiment that you should find yourself before getting married, but I don’t agree with most of her arguments, and certainly not most of her list.

Post # 6
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Because at the age of 22, I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life.”

Yet she’s old enough to be the authority on who can make a proper choice to get married?

She’s also too young to realize she doesn’t know shit about shit and that sometimes people are able to make the right choices, even at the age of 23.  What works for someone might not work for someone else.  Of course she’s too young to realize that not everyone is like her.

 

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Man, it must be nice to be 23 and to know everything there is to know about everything!

Now, I’m 23 and married with a planned baby on the way, but it’s good to know that my life experiences will always be inferior to her sitting on the couch and eating a jar of Nutella Wink

Post # 8
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@BrandNewBride:  No kidding.

Clearly she’s clued into the secrets of the universe that you’re not.

She’s young – she’s probably feeling insecure about certain situations in her life so she thinks a “powerful” article like that will come off as her being modest and wise beyond her years.  It will take the heat off of her and where she’s at in her life.  People have different things to do in life and everyone has their own timeline.  She needs to back off.

 

Post # 10
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think original idea is good – live and learn who you are before you marry. Have fun in life and don’t feel pressured by outsiders to get married or rush in. However, I think most everything on her list is B.S. I don’t see how those things will help you learn about who you are, and be ready for marriage. “Oh, thank god I had that whole tub of nutella. I think I can get married, now.”

Post # 11
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

anongirl89

hahaha some of it is just cra cra. date two people at once?? why would i want to do that. sounds skanky…. then get prego and wonder who the father is. just joking.

but yeah 23 is super young to get married… to me. i started dating DH at 19 but didnt marry till i “thought” 😉 i knew who i was at 27. there was soooo much i didnt know about myself then. i also think when you are that young, marriage can sort of encompass you. become your whole life if you have no idea who you even are when you do it. i mean its hard to combine two lives when you dont ever know what those lives are. if that makes sense. also who doesnt bake a cake and eat it before theyve gotten married…..

you are too young to get married if you havent baked a cake yet…. exceptions being that you hate cake and baking. lol

Post # 12
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

StephieBee

oh shoot!! i havent done that yet… and im already married.. dun dun dunnnnnn

;-D

Post # 13
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

“Sure.  Some days I wake up and stare at my ceiling thinking: “I’m single as fuck.”  But then I realize that those friends are going to get knocked up and fat soon sssoooo in retrospect, who really is winning here? I’m in China. I’m having the best time of my life. I am responsible for my own happiness.”

She sounds like a vile cunt.  I can’t stand people that travel at a young age and then act like they’re world-weary, better and smarter than everybody else.  My ex was like that and he was insufferable.  He went to Thailand so that automatically meant everyone was a mental midget in comparison to him.

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MrsBluth:  Consider it done!  And I love the name!

Tobias was a never nude, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Post # 16
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

She forgot two that seem to apply to her position / article…

# 25 – Feel a need to JUSTIFY your own stupid decisions…

# 24 – Be very judgemental of others choices

Acting like a grown up and the AGE on your Birth Certificate / Passport can be two different things.

She seems to have that confused.

Just because she is 23 doesn’t make her any more a MATURE grown up than someone who is 18, 20, 22 or 24… and has decided that getting / being married is right for them.

 

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