What baby-related stuff did your family say to you this holiday weekend?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@IAmTheShadow:  my god, I got it laid on THICK this week.

My mom told me “every single month my egg count is dropping drasticallly and I really need to get started before it”s too late.”

She told me she couldn’t imagine “scheduling when to have a baby” (I am a teacher and really need to have a “plan”. We only get 6 weeks off maternity and lose our health insurance after 60 days.). When she was my age “she didn’t think twice about just getting pregnant and figuring it out”. She also married a lawyer and only worked part-time.

My mother really just doesn’t get in this age, in this country, women have little to no flexibility for maternity leave. I can’t afford to stay home and frankly can barely afford day care.

 

It really pissed me off.

and, my dad asked me approximately 098372727 times when I’m getting pregnant.

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

ETA- I’m 30. Not super old but no spring chicken. we’d like to travel more before we settle down with a life-ruiner baby.

Post # 5
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh God, tons of hints and outright comments haha. Even though I had a glass of wine in my hand literally the entire day. No one knows we’re TTC yet, but it still is awkward. So when DH’s aunt was like “don’t you want kids? No pressure!!” Um yeah, that is pressure.

What really bothers me is her own daughter AND her sister (DH’s mom) had a miscarriage. I haven’t had one, but what if I had? I don’t know what it is about this topic that makes people lose common decency. 

 

Post # 8
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I wasn’t drinking at Thankagiving and my aunt thought it was because I’m pregnant. We were ttc since June but due to crazy cycles I went back on BCP in November and now we won’t be ttc until Feb or March.   Last Friday I wasn’t sinking at a neighbors farewellarty and my moms friend (who I known forever) thought it was because I’m pregnant. Uhhhhhhhh yes I would love to be pregnant now but I am not. I think everyone is just excited for that time to be here but things aren’t so easy. 

Post # 10
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@IAmTheShadow:  EXACTLY. She has no idea how much more difficult my life will be. Having a baby seems like a lose-lose situation (except for the unending joy children bring lol). go to work, pay so much in day care while having random people raise your child. Stay home, go nuts from isolation and lack of adult engagement.

sigh.

however, mom was drunk and told me she would take care of baby all day. She is currently not working, kind of old enough to be retired. I will remind her of her promise. Ha!!!

Post # 11
Member
2466 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No major comments happened this weekend at Thanksgiving thankfully.  We are renting from my in-laws and we’re about to paint the living room……..so while I was discussing where colors would go my MIL asks my husband if we were are “in a family way…” which was her way of asking if we were pregnant without using those words.  Usually stuff like this bothers me but I just thought it was hysterical.  You aren’t slick.  And, sorry, I am not pregnant yet LMAO.  She told me she didn’t know if I knew I couldn’t paint.  XD  So, it was coming from a good place.  She’s adorable.   

Post # 12
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m going to go out on a limb and confess that I said something to my brother this weekend. They’ve been together since their teens, now in their 30s, and have never said whether or not they definitely plan to have children. But they have hinted it. If I HAD to guess, I would say they have only recently started trying, if they even have.

But anyway, just my brother was over, not his wife, so who knows if he even thought twice about my comment. He was questioning me as to whether both of my nieces would be flower girls and I said something like, “if you had children, they’d be in the wedding party too.” He just laughed and said that wasn’t enough incentive. In my defense, I was just thinking along the lines of, “I’m always going to treat all my nieces/nephews equally.”

I apologized about it later in an email because I had to write him about something else anyway.

Oooppss!! Well, last year I asked my newly married cousin when they were planning on having more children (their oldest was 8 and they had him young). I realized later on how rude that was but again, I said it to the guy, so hopefully he didn’t think too much about it. I apologized a year later at his wife’s baby shower! lol.

Post # 13
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My inlaws were very well behaved. I even held a three month old baby and no one said anything. Even though in my own head I couldn’t stop thinking that hopefully by this time next year I’d have my own little one.

Post # 14
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@SuperDuperBrit:  I’ve always loved the term “in a family way”. It’s so 1950s, it’s comical! Nobody really says it any more, maybe I’ll try to bring it back for my own amusement… Though I’ve got to say,  it makes me think more of a teenager who is accidentally pregnant than a married couple TTC.

Post # 15
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My inlaws asked when we were going to give our niece a cousin.  I said we were just enjoying being newlyweds!

Overall, the pregnancy commentary was a lot lighter than normal, so I’m happy about that!

Post # 16
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

@IAmTheShadow:  ‘Why do people always want to know before someone would be ready to tell them, anyway?’ Exactly!

I only got one bad comment. My DH and I just got married in August, and DH’s brother and his long time girlfirned had a kid in January. A lot of the holiday was spent adoring my little nephew. We haven’t told anyone we’re ttc.

At one point my niece asked if her uncle and I were going to have kids next. I was like- uh…and laughed. She said “Well I think you should!”. I jokingly replied replied, “Well since you think so we’ll get right on that!” At that point one of DH’s other relative’s, his mom, sister or brother’s GF, I can’t remeber which because I was so flustered said- “You can’t ask things like that!’ All outraged/embarrassed. My niece responded ‘Well she (DH’s GF, my niece’s stepmom and mom to my niece’s new baby brother) said it’s either me or you!”. I responded- “You go ahead!” and everyone laughed. It’s well known that DH isn’t a fan of kids, and they don’t know he agreed to have kids with me becuase it’s so important to me.

In my niece’s defense, she’s only 18 and super excited that we got a married, maybe even more excited than us lol, so I’m sure she just let that get the better of her, but it was still very awkward. At least I now know the rest of DH’s family has good manners and I shouldn’t have to worry too much about hearing it from them!

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