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Wedding planning has been so interesting for me and my FI. I love to plan, and he hates it, so most of it has fallen to me and that is fine. But some things that I expected him to have opinions about he hasn't cared about at all, and then other times, when I have already made a choice and am just running something by him, he'll be like, "Wait, what?! Absolutely not!", which I find hilarious.
We are doing mainly sunflowers for our centerpieces and they will make up the bulk of the bouquets. So, my plan was to use mini-sunflowers to make the bouts. Simple, right?
FI doesn't care about flowers at all, so I mentioned in passing that when my MOH was in town this weekend, we were going to do some flower trial runs and he was like, "Yellow flowers for my bout?! Won't that clash and be really jarring with a black tux? No! I want white flowers", I went on the knot with him and scrolled through some bout pics and he likes calla lilies for bouts. Completely fine with me me, but I just never would have guessed that he would care at all about that kind of thing.
Has your FI surprised you with strong opinions about random things?
Hahaha my FI cares about centerpices!! so weird I was debating between low centerpieces with floating candles and flowers but out of no where he insisted they had to tall centerpieces.. he wouldnt budge lol I gave in and I do like them it was just weird lol
Aside from having very strong opinions about the music (we both do--luckily we share a lot of the same taste), he had shockingly strong opinions about boutineers and...my veil. Of all things! Apparently, my easy-going FI secretly despises men wearing flowers on their lapels and was determined not to have that at his wedding. Fine, we went with pocket squares, but it still surprised me that he had any opinion at all about it. He also admitted, after seeing that I purchased a cut-edge veil, that he was relieved that I didn't go for the ribbon-edge veils I had been looking at originally because he thought they looked "weird." Hmm. I still love a ribbon-edge veil, but I guess I'm glad he likes the one I got. So odd.
My FH is really excited about picking the song to our "grand entrance" when we are first introduced at the reception. I thought it was cute, so I said okay and told him it was totally up to him.
.......I am sort of regretting it now, but trying to suck it up for him. First, he wanted to use a Sevendust song (I am a country girl myself so Sevendust is a bitttt too heavy and, oh yeah ANGRY for a wedding song, IMO). Now he wants to do a montage of memorable movie quotes mixed with songs. I didn't really get it when he was explaining it but it sounds.... ummm..... ;) Where did he get this idea? Oh, the interlude the Flyers use between the 2nd and 3rd periods.
Who knew men had such strong feelings about flowers and decor?
@frugal- my BM's FI also had really strong feelings about her veil! He wanted her to wear a blusher over her face, but she wasn't willing to budge on that.
@neato- Hilarious that he wants to use a hockey-music-inspired montage for your entrance music! It sounds like it could be cool, though
Salad. We literally debated for a few hours over what type of friggin salad to serve.
I actually get very frustrated sometimes when I've researched options, done price checks, done all the work on something and then out of nowhere, he'll pipe up with some random opinion about whatever I'm working on and doesn't like it! I'm always like, fine, then YOU do all the work and research for this then, if you don't like this!
HAHAHA! I love this thread!
My finace wanted to use test tubes in place of champagne classes...thought it would be funny to freak people out! He got so upset when I shot this idea down without hesitation that I had to pretend to consider it!!
His suit! OK, it's not that weird that a guy has an opinion on his suit, but what he chose surprised me! We were having a DW, and with the very warm weather and the casual feel of our wedding, I thought for sure he'd be going with linen pants and shirt - you know, the typical beach-wedding attire (even if we were in a garden gazebo, not a beach). Well he didn't even want to look at that. He insisted on wearing a suit, with the vest and tie, regardless of the heat (DH gets very, very hot and uncomfortable quickly with the heat). He thought anything other than that wouldn't be formal enough for his wedding.
He looked good in the suit he picked, and I'm very happy he chose to go that way (I would have never even try to make him wear something like that in the heat!)
he ended up picking the champagne glasses in the end.
Calvin Klein toasting flutes: the closest one to test tubes, if you ask me. lol.
CK12601.jpg (3 KB, 39 downloads) 1 year old
The silverware we registered for. He literally spent a good half hour at each of the stores tryng to pick out the silverware. I never knew he would care that much about anything on the registries!
@trailmix- I agree on your "you want to do that, YOU do all the research" line. For our honeymoon, we were between going to Vancouver (his choice) and Montreal (my choice). So I said, I'm fine with going to Vancouver if you want to plan the honeymoon. Needless to say, he ceded out destination choice to me.
@kcasam-- I think your "test tube" flutes are beautiful and a nice compromise
My FI really loved the idea of a square wedding cake.
He wanted pinstripe tuxes
He randomly became interested in the invites.
He was hesitatnt at first, but got VERY into picking the ceremony music.
My FI didn't want to wear a flower bout. We compromised with a hypericum berry bout.
I'm also in love with this thread!!!
My fiance was very specific about music. Which surprised me. I was going for the "feel" of the evening. What would be appropriate for what times... well he VETOED every idea I had!
I thought it would be hilarious to have Joe Cocker's "leave your hat on" for him taking off my garter... and he hated it!!! He wanted "Macho Man"!!!!!! OMG! What are we going to do with our men?!?!
Save-the-Dates! I had asked my artsy sister to help me design a Save-the-Date to send out via email and casually ran it by him - he was upset that I didn't ask him to help so I let him throw a contender design into the mix. Unfortunately, I don't like what he came up with at all - we just had this discussion last night and still haven't resolved it. I had no idea he cared so much about this, too funny!
YES! He has very strong opinions about the BM dresses (they have to be yellow, lol) and he also had really strong opinions on our cake topper! It's adorable, but really random. Every once in a while he'll bust out with something completely out of the blue that just "HAS TO BE" a certain way. It's pretty funny!
he definitely cares what we ask for in the registry, the music, and the honeymoon... mostly common things, but he's left it all to me for the planning and what i want so it's funny to get any opinion out of him! :)
The shape of the tables of all things! I really want rectangular tables, he's really bent on round. Somehow he thinks there's less conversation flow at a rectangular table, but do we all sit in silence at our diningroom table?! Plus if we go with round tables it puts a huge kink in my centrepiece plans, so there's no way he's winning this one!
Our desserts buffet. It's really my baby since I love sweets, but somehow he and our caterer highjacked it and have turned it into a sweet/savory buffet. Sigh.
Oh and the tent. I wanted to get the liners on the inside so you couldn't see all the framework and whatnot, but he HATED it and refused to let me rent it. It saved us a lot of money so I was okay with it, but I was surprised he felt SO strongly about it, LOL!
Otherwise he's been a good boy with lots of "yes dear" "It's beautiful honey" "that's going to be great babe!", LOL!
My FI really wants a chocolate fountain. I agree- it will be totally awesome!
He also wants to DIY the invitation and is excited to use his skills to lay them out and print them.
My FI was also strangely opposed to Bathroom baskets. He thought is was SO strange and really doesn't want to have them at all. I don't know if I want to try and fight him on this one... it would be one less thing on my to do list!
He cared a lot about what he and the groomsman would be wearing. Since our wedding is outside during the summer, I wanted them to wear a lighter colored suit or tux, definitely NOT black.
He gave me a hard time about it, mainly because every wedding he's been to or been in, the men have worn black tuxes. My FI is the type of guy that can't think out of the box most of the time. He's so hesitant to do anything different than what he's seen at other weddings. Luckily, I've convinced him to wear a light gray tux.
haha oh I love this!
At first FI wanted to be involved in EVERYTHING. Which meant, me do al the reserach, give him several options and have him pick my least favorite or suggest something else entirely. What?!
Finally, I asked him what he wanted to be in charge of and we delegated tasks. Like usual, he got transportation and music, and planning for half of our honeymoon (Hawaii, two islands)
When registering, he was OBSESSED with knives! and closely behind that, the silverware! oh, and cookware. Fine with me, he's a great cook! I took over the baking and linens dept. haha oh and he wanted lots of picture frames?!
oh fiances :) - luckily he loved my idea for boutineers so we were okay there. Oh, and he insists on having our dog in some of our pictures.
The vacuum on the wedding registry. He can't understand why I don't want a carpet steamer as our only vacuum because a carpet steamer is "the only way the rugs get clean." He has one at his apartment and I asked him if it was his only vacuum and he said "yes" then I asked how often he uses it: "a couple times a year, but it really cleans the carpets." Yeah ok. It was turning into an issue at BB&B so we had to walk away from the vacuums and talk about silverware, lol.
@tulip-- I completely agree with you! My FI seems to base a lot of his feelings on wedding stuff based solely on what he has seen at other weddings (his exact thought on the Bout debate at the start of the thread-- he didn't want a yellow bout-- he wanted one exactly like the one our friend had worn at his wedding we attended the weekend before!
I started to get a little freaked out that he is going to hate my dress because most of the weddings we have attended, the brides have worn ballgown/corset style dresses, and mine is not like that. I'm afraid I'm going to get to the end of the aisle at the wedding and he'll be like, "what are you wearing?! That's not a wedding dress!" since it doesn't look exactly like what he has seen at every other wedding.
@MsTerrapin - Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I also don't have the typical ballgown wedding dress that my FI has seen a million times at other weddings, and I was worried that he would be really taken aback by my dress. It's really annoying how he bases everything off of other weddings and doesn't understand the concept of being different!
He is very adamant about not having assigned seating!!
He was also weirdly into the engagement pics after a long long time of saying that he didnt care!!! He got upset because he got a hair cut the day before and it didnt turn out how he wanted and he was like "Im going to look bad in the enegagement pics!" it was very odd!!
@ tulip- One of my BMs is getting married in October and her dress is a gorgeous cream lace over gold, which gives it this beautiful antique look, but when her FI heard that he said, "what do you mean it's not white?! How can a wedding dress not be white?!" I think he thought she was going to be wearing a bright gold dress or something.
I made the mistake of asking my FI what he thought I should do about my hair (my idea-- a loose/romantic curly bun with blue flower pins). His response: you should wear your hair down. I don't understand why girls always do some crazy curly bun with flowers in their hair or something. I decided he doesn't know what he is talking about. (afterall, this is the man who thinks that all of my most fabulous shoes are weird looking)
My FI has really strong feeling about ....well it feels weird to say it, but ME. He doesnt care about what type of cutlery we have, what our decorations look like, what the cake is doing or what kind of music we have. He is totally 100% just laid back and easy going. However, when i start to freak out a little bit, he gets all upset and being like " Dont STRESS! this is supposed to be the most important day of your life!!! Dont act like this!!" thats the only thing he has had to say about the wedding since we started planning. He just doesnt want me to worry and to just enjoy the process. I know i have said a few times, but we only got engaged in the end of march and our wedding is in may. So 2 months to plan the most imporant day of my life....I think im actually being pretty calm.
He's really into the music and the food, but I think that it's pretty normal for the groom to be involved with those two things.
He's really letting me take the lead on most things. I even got to pick out what color suit he wears. He doesn't want to wear a bout, so we're going to go with a pocket square.
Other than that, he's been pretty easygoing.
Table names - when we thought we'd be married in a library, he got really attached to the idea I had of naming them after our favorite books. Now he constantly asks me, "can we still do that? It's so cool!"
He also really cares about the suit colors. I like grey, but he doesn't. Obviously it's his call, I'd be mad if he didn't want me to wear a strapless dress or something!
Also, we were talking about who will marry us, and we both love the idea of having a female officiant. I will admit, this is partly because the officiants listed closest to us who had great bios were women, but we talked about it and both see it as a great big F you to the way women are regarded in the church we were raised in (they're not allowed positions of power) which ticks us both off to no end.
Oh, I forgot one. He also had very strong feelings about the STAMPS we'll be using for our save the dates. Seriously? Stamps!?!?!?
I love reading these :)
My FI was very particular about the kerning and leading of the type in our invite.
He was adament about wearing a suit and narrow tie.
He also got very into photography, music, and registering.
The only real sticking point was photos - he is completely against a first look. I even sent him some samples in the hopes of swaying him. Nope. No first look - no if ands or buts about it.
Everything else, it's "whatever you want"
@vonnegirl-- I'm impressed your FI was into the kerning and leading of the type on the invites, since I don't even know what that means!
@amanda-- the stamps? That's so funny. I was all excited about the king and queen of hearts stamps, and his response was "huh"
I guess this shouldn't sound bizarre, but FI cares a LOT about exactly what he's wearing. For example, I really love the look of a tux with a bowtie and cummerbund (yay brooks brothers!) and it took weeks of convincing from me and his mom that he should wear a bow tie, but still can't get him to agree on the cummerbund. Oh well.
He also hates limos and is banning them from our wedding. I kind of agree wtih him, but I think it's a strange thing to ban from a wedding day. Instead we're renting a trolly which I'm fine with, luckily this was never an issue.
He cared a lot about the BM dresses, but probably wouldn't have even noticed if I chose them and didn't tell him. I asked for his opinion and he felt REALLY strongly about which one we chose, which I was thankful for b/c I was having a hard time deciding.
The flowers he didn't want to be too pink. The reason we chose dark pink as one of our colors was FOR the flowers, so this was a little frustrating. We always wanted navy to be our main color since we love blue, but I just didn't want white, yellow, orange or purple flowers so we went with pink. He was OK with it until our meeting with the florist, then chimed in with "There's way too much pink in teh flowers!" Duh!
@Ms Terrapin - Those are the ones I like, and he was ADAMANTLY opposed to them! He said that "everyone" uses them and that they're so overplayed. I was like "ummmm okay, maybe it's because they're the WEDDING STAMPS?!?!?!" Once I showed him the other options, he wanted to use Zazzle. Then I showed him how much THAT cost, and it finally convinced him that maybe the king and queen stamps would just have to do. He's such a dork.
This is a very fun thread! I just literally laughed out loud at work with some of your comments! I have pretty much done all of the planning for our small event and he just goes with the flow.
First, his ring. Normally, that wouldn't be a surprise, but he works in construction and won't even wear it. Still, he HAD to have a very particular, custom made ring that was well over what we budgeted for rings. Of course, he got what he wanted since it IS his wedding ring, but still surprised me.
Second, was the cake. Now, my FI is a HUGE sweets eater and so I thought this might be the one thing he was really into. On our way to the bakery, he wasn't as excited as I thought he would be and kept saying things like "we'll just stick to our budget...it's just flour and sugar, right?" haha - we get there and suddenly he HAD to have a bigger cake, because the one we picked certainly wouldn't be enough (really, in his mind, wouldn't leave enough leftovers) and he HAD to have the one that had mountains on it - he wouldn't even look at anything else! I was like, did you like the way it tasted, and he said sure, but look, it has mountains on it!
Lastly, my dress. He won't admit it, but he's totally freaked out about my dress - which I find hilarious. He has no idea what it looks like, but he keeps asking me things like - "are you wearing one of those big poofy things?" Of course, I tell him, yes - it's HUGE, like in my big fat greek wedding, I'm covered in white, and it has 80's poofy shoulder sleeves and a collar. Nothing wrong with any of those things if that's your style, but it's not me. He genuinely looks concerned when he asks me - and like I would tell him what my dress looks like anyways! haha
He got really excited about the idea of the garter removal/toss song being "I Come From a Land Down Under."
And he was adament that Pachelbel's Canon play at some point in the ceremony.
He's insisting that we register for a Dyson vacuum (I'm not complaining).
The other day he was really concerned what everyone would do with their dogs on the day of the wedding. Our dog can't be left alone all day and neither can my parents' or his sister's, so now we have to figure out how to put together a doggy daycare area at our venue. It's an outdoor event, so it shouldn't be a problem, but I thought it was really cute how concerned he was about all the dogs.
For me, it was my fiancee's insisting that i wear a veil...since i wasnt originally planning on going so
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