Post # 1
FH and I were raised very differently on boundaries with members of the opposite sex. We are working on coming up with a clear list of boundaries to avoid misunderstandings. For example, not hanging out in private with members of the opposite sex. What boundaries do you have?
Post # 3
If I would feel uncomfortable telling him about it, or if I wouldn’t want him doing it with a girl, then I don’t do it.
When you say “in private” do you mean like in a closed bedroom? Or like just going out with a member of the opposite sex?
Post # 4
Going out to dinner is fine (public place), but hanging out at someone’s house alone with a member of the opposite sex is not ok.
Post # 4
The Golden Rule works really well in these scenarios.
Post # 5
This is so individual to the couple and the relationship; our boundaries might seem extreme to others, but they really work for us.
Maybe each of you could start by writing up a list of the situations in the past where you have been uncomfortable and go from there? It seems like that would give you an opportunity to get to the core issues of what is appropriate and what is not in your relationship.
Post # 6
FI and I are pretty similar. Like, for example, why would he ever really need to go out to dinner even with a girl? If it was social, then why wouldn’t I be there? If it was business (well, he’s an engineer. he doesn’t work with any girls!) then he would probably just have a meeting.
Post # 7
After a drunken arguement – we agreeded that dancing (like booty shaking, not country dancing or regular dancing) with the opposite sex is off limits.
Other then that, we have a similar outlook like hilsy85 w/ the golden rule.
Post # 8
I don’t think we have any? No trust or jealousy issues here, no worries about appearances, and lots of friends of every possible gender and orientation.
Post # 9
We just run everything by eachother. If one of us isn’t comfortable with something, then we just don’t do it. If it’s a work meeting, we’re not going to nix that….but if it’s a co-worker that wants to have lunch with DH each and every day for no reason other than to just hang out, I might have an issue with that (She can go and find another lunch buddy to hang out with, just not my husband lol). We don’t talk/see/hangout with any of our exes. He has a good friend that’s a gal that he texts every once in awhile and I don’t mind that.
Post # 10
We don’t really have any ‘rules’, we just stick to what we think the other person would feel comfortable with. We haven’t had any issues yet. We’re pretty good at predicting how the other would feel about a situation and then avoiding it.
Post # 11
We won’t have sex, make-out, fondle, or booty-dance with members of the opposite sex besides each other. Beyond that is pretty much fair game.
Neither of us have any issue with the other going to dinner, drinks, etc alone with someone of the opposite sex. It isn’t something we do all the time or anything, but when it happens, it’s no big deal.
Post # 12
Pretty much what Hils said for us too. DH has also asked that I not have lunch alone with a coworker who used to have a crush on me. I’m not sure what instance DH would have to hang out with a girl-friend alone in her house. I could see him going without me if there was a party and I couldn’t make it but not otherwise. For the most part I think we hang out with our friends together.
Post # 13
@JsDragonfly: The Mr also has a female friend (oh ok, ex-girlfriend) and they text occasionally. She lives hours away and is in a serious relationship herself, so it’s not as if they hang out all the time.
He works in an all male-environment, so doesn’t really have much contact with other women apart from family / partners of friends. But if he did, I like to think I wouldn’t mind to much?
Post # 14
I remember putting something like this up a while back. I don’t know that we have boundaries per se. Common sense rules.
Post # 15
Basically like what @hilsy85: said. If it’s something that knowingly would/could make the other uncomfortable, then it’s a no no.