Post # 1
inspired by the post about “mr.wrong” i digress, for those of you who had long term boyfriend (specifically, a BAD relationship) previous to your current sig other…
what made you leave?
my on/off again college ex-bf… started as a booty call, the summer before i went away to college in cali, i ended coming back to mi for sophomore year… and we started dating seriously… the first two years, were AWFUL. we fought every weekend, he always chose his boys over me, he cheated, he slapped, etc. then “things got better” so i stuck around for another 2.5 years.
we never talked about marriage (until 2 weeks after i broke with him, he asked me if i would get back with him if he proposed). i never wanted to marry him, but i never left him either because i was so tightly wound to his family, his friends, etc.
the last straw for me wasn’t a big realization… it was over the last six months where i graduated college, got my first job, didn’t see him for almost a month with our crazy schedules, and then realizing that i really did have a life of my own outside of the toxic relationship.
i asked for a break, a week after that i officially broke it off… and i can’t be happier with the choice i made. my only regret is that i’d take those 4.5 years back if i could… in a heartbeat! (aside from the “i wouldn’t be who i am today if it weren’t for my experiences”) story.
WHEW, that was a long one. but tell me about yours… how did things end? and how do you feel about it today?
Post # 3
Hrrrm….i left my “high school serious” boyfriend because he wasn’t ambitious. I started to feel like he was a loser and I was above him because I had all these things I wanted to do/accomplish in my life and he wanted to do NOTHING. I lost respect for him and couldn’t be with someone I couldn’t respect. He didn’t want to go to college and I was constantly giving him definitions to vocabulary words I used on a regular basis. It got old. He also told me he was content to let me “fly as high as I wanted to” and he wanted to be a SAHD. Fine for some, but I wanted to be someone more intelligent and more ambitious. The man had no drive for anything. He also didn’t want to leave his small town and I didn’t want to be in the boonies for the rest of my life.
Oh and he always wore these really ugly plaid collar shirts….omg!
Edit: I, like Rosie, developed a crush on another guy and figured if i REALLY wanted to date the other guy, I probably should dump this one!
Post # 4
My longest relationship was with my high school boyfriend. We went to college together our first year. We had talked about marriage and planned on getting engage. During our first year at school though, things went south. He was lying a bunch and started to get physically abusive. Depsite all that though, I stayed with him. At the end of the year, we came home and he stopped talking to me. Wouldn’t answer my calls, call me back, or anything. I finally went over there and he blew me off! So, that was the end for me. I broke up with him and he cried and told me he was wrong and that he wanted another try. But becuase of everything, I said no. Plus, I had a crush on someone else and we had been hanging out. (that didn’t last either though!)
Post # 5
After 2 years together he decided that he didn’t want kids after all. He knew from the get go that I absolutely wanted kids and he was all in, but I think he just wanted me.
I can’t completely hate him, he was in his 40s and didn’t want to start over but he knew and I can’t help but feel that he wasted 2 years of my life.
But, things always work out and now I have FI and we have an amazing daughter!
Post # 6
You’re going to think I am joking but… I was in a year long relationship with a guy who was a bit of a… “sex addict”. Anyways, I wanted to end up but stuck it out for no good reason (I was 19 (he was 21), maybe that was it lol). The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he told me he didn’t think our relationship was going to work out if I kept refusing to have ANAL sex. That pretty much did it for me.
Post # 7
@ottawabride, im so sorry if i’m being rude and im so happy that you got out of that relationship… but literally when i read the last two lines, i LOL’ed… def a tina fey moment picturing you saying those lines all serious!
Post # 9
I was with a guy for 5 years that I fully intended to marry– we even had picked a date! (Dec 21, 2008). He was all I ever knew and I loved him, he loved me, and he treated me right. I think it was actually harder because we did mostly have a great relationship so it wasn’t like I could say “oh he’s a loser bc x” or “oh he treats me bad” or anything like that.
The reason we broke up finally was because I realized that we wanted two totally different things out of life, and he was never going to put me ahead of his career. Thats fine for some people but it isn’t fine for me.
When we got together we were in hs, 17, and he was headed for the airforce academy to be a pilot. I told him we could date/have fun but then we’d have to break up because i had no intention of marrying a military man. He chose me over the airforce academy and decided to go to college with me and things were awesome. But his parents got pissed and refused to help him with college or even co-sign a loan, so his ONLY option to be with me was to join the national guard. We agreed on 1 term and done. Well, as he started to near the end of his 1 term he got deployed and truth be told, he was a pretty kick-ass soldier, and his CO semi-promised him (as much as they ever do in the military) that if he reenlisted he could be a pilot. He came back from his deployment and told me he wasn’t sure anymore if he could be done in 2 years when his contract was up and he was thinking about reenlisting, so i broke up with him. I wasn’t willing to wait 2 years to find out whether or not he’d stick by his promise to get out. And really– if he was going to resent me forever for ruining his chance to fly I didn’t want him to get out. I am not cut out to be a military wife and I knew that about myself since I was 17. It sucks that it took him until we were 22 to figure out that he couldn’t NOT be a military man… but sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you thought it would.
Alls well that ends well though, right? Four months after we broke up, I met FI (who I was a little leery of because he was another army brat!) but it turns out he couldn’t be more different in terms of stability and now we’re engaged and I’m happier than ever!
Post # 10
the straw that broke the camel’s back in my last relationship was when he got picked up at the DPS for an old warrant and had to go to jail for a month. Turns out he had an old DWI charge he had been avoiding the WHOLE TIME (3 years) we had been together. He never told me about it. He was lying about a lot of other stuff too, so when he went to jail I finally said F it and got on a plane and left the state. SEE YA.
That was five years ago this June and I’ve never been happier =)
Post # 11
omg @ottawabride– not to make light of it but i lol’d too. i’d like to see this guy’s “deal-breaker” list if that is one of the items on it.
Post # 12
I dated the same guy all through high school and into college (4.5 years), but then I got really drunk and did very inappropriate things on webcam with another guy. Not sex, but pretty bad stuff.
Then the guy sent the video to my ex, so yeah. I was the cheater and he broke up with me.
I don’t drink anymore.
But thankfully, I met Joe two weeks later, and even when my ex begged for me back, I knew that Joe was the right choice for me.
Post # 13
We were together for almost three years and he would cheat and lie compulsivey. Then one day i was checking his email ( I know its never good to snoop but he gave me his password) and I saw an email to his ex gf stating how much he still loves her and would love to be her man. Those words are still engrained in my head.
So that was pretty much it. We still talk, but definately never saw a future for us after that.
Post # 14
Holy cow OttawaBride! Good for you for leaving, though I’m sure it wasn’t a hard choice after that comment.
My college boyfriend and I were dating for 3 years, and in the last year were talking about marriage and engagement. He went to school for elementary education. He couldn’t, for the life of him, get a job, even though male elemed teachers were in demand. I found out (by his mother, not him) that he had gotten arrested for public drunkeness when he was home one weekend, and that was the #1 reason why he couldn’t get a job. Things went downhill from there. Like ejs’s guy, he just wasn’t ambitious. He only ever wanted to stay in, never wanted to go anywhere or do anything. The last straw was sadly, Valentine’s day. I told him that all I wanted was to go out to a nice dinner. He waited until the day of to make a reservation, and so alas, we ended up eating chinese on my bedroom floor. I told him then that I just wasn’t happy. Thank goodness too…I can’t imagine being married to him now. It also helped that I too, had a crush on someone else, and that helped me get over the loss of the relationship much easier.
Post # 15
He disappeared for three weeks and didn’t answer any of my calls. Then one day, I blocked my number and called and what do you know, he answered right away. Turns out, he got arrested for a DUI and was in jail, and didn’t tell me. After that, I was done.
I look him up every so often on the court website, and since then, he’s gotten a second DUI, gotten sued by the power company for $1700, gotten about 4 tickets for operating with a suspended license, etc. Dodged a bullet there!
Post # 16
Why do guys think it’s easy to keep getting arrested from us? Don’t they think that we’re going to find out eventually??