Post # 1
I told my Future Mother-In-Law about the colors I’m using in the wedding, and the color the bridesmaids are wearing, royal purple. Now she wants to wear something in the royal purple area. I suggest to her that lavender would look nice. She COMPLETELY turned that idea down.
I would prefer her to not wear something similar to bridesmaids, but I don’t know how to approach this situation? We’ve already had one bad run in, and I’d rather not repeat that.
Post # 3
I’d just explain that she doesn’t need to match the colour scheme and remind her that the bridal party will be wearing royal purple. Then explain that you think XYZ colour looks great on her and you’d be willing to go shopping with her if she’s like the company. If she’s still set on wearing royal purple there may not be much that you can do about it – but at least you’ve tried. Maybe get your fiance to talk to her and explain if it starts to get nasty.
Post # 4
The MOG should avoid BLACK or white. Anything else is fair game. 🙂
Lavender would be very complimentary.. shoot. Why is she being so stubborn? Honestly, if you’ve already had a major fight, perhaps you should let this one slide. You’re going to become her DIL & you’re going to have to pick and choose your battles.
((hugs)) sorry you’re in this situation.
Post # 5
Why would she wear the same color as the BMs? Tell her that she’ll look like a member of the wedding party instead of the MOG, and you want her to be distinguished from them.
I would tell her to choose something that is complementary to the royal purple, but not similar. So other jewel tones, deep reds, dark pinks, navy, dark green, etc.
Maybe even give her a color palette that shows your royal purple and some nice complementary shades?
Post # 6
Tell her that because she is so important, you want to make sure she stands out from the bridal party in pictures and doesn’t get lost or mistaken for being part of the bridal party (but not too bright as she shouldn’t upstage you!). That will make her feel special. It is all how you spin it… Good luck! I’m going to be dealing with this one myself next week…. 😉
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
The one thing I’ve learned from dealing with my mother and FI’s mother is that the fight of what she should wear is one that you should let go of, right away–you can’t win. If she wears the color, you lose. If she doesn’t because you wouldn’t let her, you might think you won, but she will be unhappy and not let you forget it… so you still lose.
I’d let it go. She doesn’t need to be in any pictures with the bridesmaids only, so it won’t really make much of a difference. Just as long as she doesn’t show up in white, let it go if you can.
Post # 8
@jaymugirly – I have the same problem! When my Future Mother-In-Law asked what our colors were her automatic response was OMG I LOOK AMAZING IN GARNET!!!!! Um, Future Mother-In-Law – no. You cannot wear the same dress or even the same color as the BM’s. Not happening. You can wear something in the same color family, but not the same color. The good news is, typically bride’s mom picks her dress and then Future Mother-In-Law follow suit so my mom will pick her dress first and then Future Mother-In-Law will go along with that. 🙂 My mom is certainly not shy and will make sure she understands how this works. Good Luck – maybe find some dresses you think she’d like/look good in and take her to try them on? Maybe she’ll fall out of love with the royal purple and into something more motherly. 🙂
Post # 9
I don’t think it’s worth stressing over….as long as it’s not white or some other color that would ‘upsage’ you like bright red or something, I’d let it slide. Especially since you’ve had problems before. I do find it odd that she would want to wear the same color as the bridesmaids, but what I’ve learned so far in planning is that FMILs do a lot of weird things and oh well, just have to learn to live with it.
Post # 10
My Future Mother-In-Law is wearing navy, same color as our bridesmaids. I never even thought about it. Her dress is floor-length and has sleeves. She’s also older than the BM; no one is going to mistake her for a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I don’t think it’s a big deal as long as the dress is substantially different.
Post # 11
Not sure this is a battle I would fight! The day of your wedding you won’t really much care what anyone is wearing and no one is going to think the MOG is a bridesmaid, I am pretty sure. I’d let it go….
Post # 12
I would think that she would want to stand out by wearing a different color. Maybe a deep grey or silver would look nice and complementary? It would coordinate and this color palette looks nice on older women.
I encountered a similar situation with my MOG because she wanted to look like she was part of the group, but we had to sway her to stay away from the color of the pink dresses we chose. Our colors are pink, grey and white and we have convinced her to gown down the grey road.
Post # 13
Marigold has a good point, she won’t be in many pictures (if any) with the bridesmaids, so maybe this would be a good one to just let her have in the interest of avoiding another run in. I dread the day I have to deal with what my Future Mother-In-Law is going to wear!
Post # 14
I don’t get what the big deal is if Future Mother-In-Law wears a similar color to the BM’s. Her dress will likely be completely different and even if it’s not, it doesn’t really matter. She will stand out because she is the MOG – not because of the color she is wearing.
If she asks for your input on the color of her dress, give it. If not, just let it go.
In answer to your post title – the only answer really is: WHITE!
Post # 15
Good news! My Future Mother-In-Law will get to wear purple if she likes! We are changing our colors to Yellow, Gray & White. For different reasons we needed to change it, so I guess I have nothing to worry about anyhow! 🙂 Thanks everyone for their suggestions. Your right, it probably wasn’t worth the fight!