Post # 1
Stemming from this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-much-do-your-parents-support-you-financially I began to wonder what constituted being recognized, or recognizing oneself, as an adult.
I was watching HBO’s new series GIRLS when one character was insinuating that the other needed to grow up and said, “It’s not adult life if your parents pay for your Blackberry”. Personally, I agree. I don’t believe age has anything to do with it. But reading the previous thread I saw someone say that because their parents paid for such and such, that it didn’t make them any less of an adult.
What do you think constitutes adulthood?
*Just to clarify, I completely understand accepting help from family and friends when you really need it. Especially in this economy. *
Post # 3
I think its maturity…. Some people may have somebody else pay things for them but it may be due to dissability or illness or other circumstances.
Post # 4
I think its insulting to say because ones parents help out that they are not an adult. If your parents bend to your every whim and you have to do.nothing on your own ever then maybe. I think.it has.more to do with maturity level than age it financial status. I have met some incredibly childish people in their 30s and some very grown up people on their late teens/ early twenties.
Post # 5
If your parents pay for all your shit, and you don’t have something preventing you from doing it yourself, then you are NOT an adult.
If you whine and bitch about “how you’re an adult and can make your own decisions!”…then you’re also probably not an adult.
If you refuse to take advice from other people because you are “mature” for your age…yeah, also not an adult.
Marriage has nothing to do with being an adult, nor does having kids, etc.
Post # 6
I would actually be really interested to hear from the people who chose “marriage”. Maybe their SO’s helped them mature?
Post # 7
I think it is more about maturaty than if your parents are still paying for this or that. (Just becasue your parents have offered you assistance here and there doesn’t mean you still aren’t an adult!)
In my own experience my parents payed for little of my college BUT they helped me on other ways like paying for a vehicals when I needed them (they were older, cheap model cars), paying for my car insurence until I was a year out of school, and helping me out when I needed it. Also because I moved away from home, to a more expensive area I think I needed more help. If I had just stayed close to home, went to the local college, moved back afterwards and found my own place in a cheaper area I wouldn’t have needed the help.
Post # 8
when you can make your own decisions without consulting your parents.
Post # 9
Definitely maturity level…and most people that are mature are also financially independent(I said MOST). That is NOT to say that it is wrong to accept financial help at times when it is needed/offered but I do have an issue with people that EXPECT their parents to pay for them even though they can afford it themselves and/or are financially irresponsible. I’ve had a few friends like this and right now I’m having issues with my 17 year old daughter who thinks the world owes her…does she have a big shock coming!
Post # 10
I didn’t want to comment to that poster but I DO think that it makes you less of an adult if you’re still be supported financially by someone other than yourself or your spouse/partner. Sure, maybe you’re 24 and technically an adult but until you’re on your own and responsible for yourself in every which way, you’re not really there yet. I’m sure my opinion won’t be popular with some but that’s how I feel.
Post # 11
I agree, OP. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how mature you THINK you are, if you cannot support yourself financially, and there is no disability preventing that, you are NOT an adult.
Post # 12
I think an adult is someone who has gone through all of the stages of childhood. As far as parents paying for what and all of that, I think that is what makes you a mature adult, or a responsible adult or an inedpendent adult, etc.
Post # 13
I think that maturity is the most important thing, but that some level of financial independance and maturing experiences is at least part of that
Post # 14
@thenuggetbride: That is a good point.
Post # 15
I don’t think it has a single thing to do with money, or financial independence. If so is that to say that poor people or even homeless people are less of adults because they need assistance from strangers, family or government?
I agree to a teensy extent that it is financial independence, but only in the sense that you can manage your money on your own. Even if you make 2 grand a month, or your parents give you 2 grand a month- do you know how to divide that into your bills and savings and know your limit on how much “fun money” you are allowed each month? If so, I agree.
I don’t think age matters towards anything other than if you can buy a lottery ticket or a case of beer. If you are 18 and completley mature, have a handle on your life and goals, you’re an adult. If you’re 30 and live in the bar and skip work all the time, not so much.
Marriage, sortof – it is an adult responsibility to manage and maintain a healthy relationship. If you two can grow and mature together, that is making you grow up (becoming more adult) rather than being in a toxic relationship and not being able to know how to handle it.
Experience- yes, yes yes. If you have gone through things that caused you to grow up fast to be able to handle a situation, it makes you more adult rather than someone who has floated through life and only are an adult by your birth certificate rather than your common sense in everyday problems.
Other- I think if you have to call Mama to figure out every problem that comes up in life, you aren’t as much of an adult as you could be. Problem solving is a huge factor in being mature, smart, and adult.
BTW- I’m 19 and very much consider myself an adult. I may only look 14, but am plenty more “adult” than some 25-30 year old women I know.
Post # 16
Have you ever watched a National Geographic documentary about a various tribal culture? Where children and teens are hunting, gathering, cooking, child rearing, herding animals, etc. To me that is adult like- taking measures to survive for not only ones self but others as well. Its not a number or a bank statement but a certain drive and mentality.
For the “first world” I believe we associate “adulthood” mainly with financial independence and security.