The Planner-Waiter's wedding dress
more by 91011Bride
No older images
My personal wedding-related hell...
more in Waiting
Well, we weren't talking about it until now.
My bracelet arrived!
more in Boards
Having a hard time "choosing my battles"

What defines one as a Waiting Bee?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    91011Bride    September 10, 2011   Destination wedding

    Okay, we've talked about the engagement and already picked a date and we've been seriously discussing the design and venue and guests and budget.   However, neither one of us has officially proposed and we haven't told our families of that date or anything yet.  We've agreed we'd do the "official" engagement before August of 2010 since we know we'll need a year or so to plan the wedding (and pay for it and buy a new house).  So, my question is, given these circumstances, am I still a Waiting Bee?  Does not having a ring make me "waiting"?  I think so, but a friend told me I wasn't a waiting and it was because Mister is already on the bandwagon planning and designing and talking about our wedding.  I disagree. 

     
    2.
    Hostess
    7,921 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    First off, welcome to Weddingbee!  I think "waiting" is defined by each person, so I think you might both be right. 

    I have to say, though, that here in the Bay Area with your date 9-10-11, you might want to already put a deposit down for some of the big things (e.g. venue) maybe a little before a year because that date might be so popular and things might get booked more than a year before.   

     
    3.
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    mmmtacos      

    There are a lot of other Bees in your boat, I think we generally agree we're "waiting".  My BF haven't chosen a date, but we have discussed the venue and quite a fw other components.  I won't consider my wait to be done until I have the ring and the annoucement. :)

     
    4.
    Member
    7,205 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    tea       norcal

    i don't think it depends on having a ring, but that you aren't officially engaged. you can be engaged and not have a ring [a teacher of mine told us she exchanged watches with her fiance...weird but you know, to each their own. lol]. my guy has been chiming in with his opinions for our wedding but he hasn't proposed yet so here i am, living life up on the waiting board :-).

     
    5.
    Member
    1,935 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Charm bracelet    July 24, 2010   Placentia, CA

    I agree with you.  In my opinion, since your still waiting to be asked and waiting for a ring then you should consider yourself a waiting bee.  Gosh, I would feel so anxious.  

     
    6.
    Hostess
    10,729 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    i am in waiting because M hasn't officially popped the question (important to him) i'd much rather decide on a date together, a ring together etc.  but to each his own.  M has this whole thing about being the guy and surprising me with the proposal and the ring (i REALLY don't like that lol i wanted some input but life is about compromises and if it makes him happy to choose and/or design a ring for me then that's fine)...

     
    7.
    Member
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    91011Bride    September 10, 2011   Destination wedding

    Thank you ladies!  @Diva, it must be a man thing.  My mister wants to surprise me with a proposal to.  We agreed it would be before August 2010 and he was a little taken aback when I gave him a deadline, until of course I explained my reasoning.  @Lillindy, you know, I've been looking for venues already.  Most don't have their price lists for 2011 yet.  We're doing a Destination wedding to Lake Tahoe or Monterey area.  I'm pushing for Lake Tahoe.  Thanks ladies! 

     
    8.
    Hostess
    7,921 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    How fun a destination wedding, can't wait to hear all about it because you can't go wrong with either option because they are both so beautiful!

     
    9.
    Member
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    91011Bride    September 10, 2011   Destination wedding

    @Lillindy, Thank you!  I'm pushing for Lake Tahoe. The weather will be perfect in September. 

     
    10.
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee
    waterprincess    June 25, 2011   Ohio

    I think most of us are waiting for a ring! (Or actual engagement announcement.)  I discussed things with my ex about our wedding until I figured out that he wasn't ready to get married and moved on.  I discuss things with my BF now, and he has asked my dad for permission, but nothing is official and I am still Waiting :(

     
    11.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    1,183 posts
    Bumble bee
    pudding      

    You might want to check out Mrs. Avocado's posts.  She was ringless during a major part of her wedding planning process.

     
    12.
    Hostess
    10,729 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    Lake Tahoe would be stunning!! and I don't really have a deadline. M thinks we can plan a wedding in two weeks on a 1500 budget. lol not so much... but he definitely wants to be married in February or March (best time to travel to the Caribbean for our honeymoon, he researched this)... I want a four or five month engagement, so there we are lol.... 

     
    13.
    Hostess
    9,018 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    91011, I think your mindset is a lot of what defines you into certain categories -- but we're happy to have you here on the Waiting board whenever you feel like you're waiting, and to release you into the world when you're not ;)

    I'm in a similar situation - J and I are all but engaged (in my mind we are, but I've not said that to anyone outside the Hive), but he hasn't officially proposed, and I don't have a ring yet, so we're going along with the more traditional view, mostly because I don't really care if anyone thinks I'm engaged or not.

    Most people in Western culture will assume no ring = no engagement, but there's nothing saying you have to conform to that standard. It's all about what you and your FI have in mind!

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    MissBoPeep 93
    beargoose 55
    ndreighton 55
    hisgoosiegirl 52
    Mrs.KMM 46
    BetterSherm 42
    akp0702 41
    Beckster329 37
    stardustintheeyes 36
    MrsPom 36

    Waiting

    User Posts Today
    stace0616 5
    Miss Circe 4
    Scottish_lassie 4
    MissHoney 4
    redroses76 4
    bellasperanza 4
    MissBoPeep 3
    AnastasiaM 3
    MsMamaBear 2
    simpleandchic 2
    More