Post # 1
First-time poster here! Just needed a little boost of confidence… My wedding is in July and one of my bridesmaids just told me that she could no longer be a part of my bridal party for financial reasons.
I totally understand that being a BM is costly and I support her decision, but I can’t help but be really bummed about it. Has anyone had this happen to them as well?
Post # 3
It happened with one of my girls too. I don’t feel toooo bad about it. I love her a bunch and know she loves me a whole bunch too, and I understood that she has a lot going on financially this year. Obviously I would have loved for her to be there strutting down the aisle with me, but she’ll be there anyways , taking pictures from the seats :D. I always thought that I’d hate putting any stress on my girls becuase I feel that if it would be me, I’d wish that the bride was considerate too. Good friends will always be good friends, and she’ll be sharing the same joy with you no matter where she sits or what she wears!!
My FI was actually very dissapointed and mad about the situation but I told him that we can’t control her actions, her financial situation, and obviously we can’t force her to be part of the BP. It was her decision and I back her up.
So, don’t worry about it too much. It’s not a reflection of how much she appreciates you as a friend but a reflection of her ability to handle financial stress ;).
How many BMs do you still have left?
Post # 4
@SM_DesignGirl: I actually respect her honesty. The only thing that you can do is A) either offer to assist with some of the financial burden or B) Move on…Harsh,but true.
Post # 5
It is sad when that happens. Maybe you can still include her in your wedding by doing a reading or something.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
I really like @merenguito‘s advice. Good friends are good friends no matter what. At least it’s a valid reason and she was upfront about it. Is there anyone else who could take her place?
Everyone is having a hard time financially in my family (except for my mom), so we’re actually paying for all our BP’s clothing since we want them all there and we can budget it in with what my mom has given us for the wedding. 🙂
Post # 7
I would be really bummed as well. But some BMs either dont care to spend the money or cant and dont tell you until its so close to the wedding. So on the bright side, at least you know now rather than much later and you can plan accordingly.
Post # 8
Most of my very closest friends are students, or living on a shoe-string budget, so while we’re doing all we can to make it easy on their pocket books for them, we can’t dictate their choices to them.
That being said, this happened to me as well, my close friend and previous MOH had to back out due to financial reasons, and is actually (as far as I am aware) not even coming to the wedding. Now while I may have had my feelings a little bruised with disappointment I completely understand.
There’s really not much you can do but keep on doing what you’re doing. *shrugs*
Post # 9
Welcome to weddingbee! There is not much you can do, but let her know that you understand. Two bridesmaids backed out by avoiding me which ruined my relationship with them.
Post # 10
@SM_DesignGirl: The same thing happened to me. I have 5 bridesmaids and other than my sister, the one who means the most to me (my very best friend) had to step down. She got engaged after I asked her to be a bridesmaid and now her wedding is 2 weeks after ours. Financially, she said she can’t really handle it (since she and her FI are paying for their wedding themselves)…I offered to pay for her dress, but I don’t think she felt comfortable with it. Her bridesmaids are her 3 sisters, so no hard feelings. I still love her to death 🙂
Post # 11
Thank you ladies for all of your kind words! It’s a little comforting to know that there are others in similar situations. Sometimes in the midst of all the stresses of wedding planning I tend to think I am the only person in the world going through all of the frustrations! Haha.
After talking with my FI we decided to reach out to her to let her know that we are willing to pay for all her expenses…. so we’ll see if she takes us up on our offer to help! If she dosent I will be fine with that as well… of course ill be disapointed, but i will “get over it”. I have 5 other bridesmaids and i probably wont ask anyone else to replace her. Im cool with having an uneven wedding party!