Post # 1
I’m just wondering what you all have done to include your moms in your wedding planning. I hear all kinds of things about women bonding with their moms during this time, but its not happening with me and my mom. We get along great- its just i’m doing this from out of town and she has MS so she has trouble walking and her mind isn’t working as well as it used to….
So I would like to hear what you all have done with your moms and what how you were able to make her feel special and included.
So far I’ve only had my mom go dress shopping with me – though when I bought my dress she was not with me 🙁 And I’ve asked her to be my main contact with the church I’m getting married in since she goes there. Other than that I plan to have her come to the cake tasting.
What did you all do? Do you have any hints on little things I can do to make her feel more included?
Post # 3
@Cc7492: I am in a similar situation. I live in NC, my mom in CT and the wedding is in VT. We met in VT to do the tasting and looked at dresses….I ended up buying it without her. Other than that everything has just been via email/phone calls. Her and my dad (divorced) are contributing the majority of the money so I told her she could be involved as much as she wanted (within reason) however much to my surprise she really hasn’t been overbearing. I am definitely doing all the planning but just copying her on my ideas and getting her input. I am not sure there is much else to do… I got it all under control!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
If there’s anything she can do since she’s at the location your wedding is at, I’m sure she’d love to. My mom has gone dress shopping with me and with me to one potential venue. When I told her my idea for doing DIY beaded and silk flower bouquets, she went out and bought some silk flower bouquets in different sizes and styles to see what looks good with the dress she bought for me. 🙂 If you’re purchasing a lot of things from out of town, you could have her look at them in person (flowers, linens, etc.) and give you her feedback? I’ve also sent my mom ideas (links to pictures online) for different bouquets and she’s sent me ideas back.
Post # 5
My mom and I are sickeningly close so we have done everything together. She has come with Fiance and I to check out venues, photogs, etc. She has helped me picked out colors, she is going to a bridal show with me next weekend and will be helping me pick out my dress. As I get deeper into planning I am sure she will help with much more.
Oh and I’m also doing this from out of town — the wedding is near my mom and I live 3 hours away — so we’ve had lots of phone chats.
Also just wanted to say that my mom has MS too, so I know how hard that can be sometimes… 🙁
Post # 6
My mom and my wedding are in my hometown. I’m halfway across the country. So my mom is very involved. The wedding and rehearsal dinner are in her backyard, the reception is at the college where she works. Our officiant is my dad’s co-worker and his wife babysits my nephew. My mom set up the venue and caterer. She’s going to talk to the florists. She picked out the flower girl dress with my flower girl (the one of 6 options my flower girl liked.) She’ll be doing my hair the day of. She’s coordinating decorations, lodgings for us and relatives, et al… TREMENDOUS help. She’s paying for the whole wedding (the traditional stuff) and the rehearsal dinner… Just… amazing.
‘Course, she has spent the last year calling me a whore for living with him and saying he’ll never marry me since we’ve already had sex and how I don’t deserve to ever get married, so she may be trying to compensate…
Post # 7
@TinyTina: You are right. As I continue with planning she will probably get to be a lot more involved. Right now I just need to teach her to use the computer so we can email pictures to each other 🙂
I’m glad to hear you can do so much with you mom. My mom has her good days and bad days and around holidays (like when I’m in town) she is always so exhausted she can’t do much of anything. I’ll have to make a special trip into town so I can catch her when she’s got the energy to go out on the town 🙂
Post # 8
My cousin recently got married and her mom (my aunt) has MS. One of the things my cousin had her mom do was be in charge of the centerpieces. My aunt designed them and created them for the wedding. They came out great and she got many compliments.
Post # 9
There was nothing for her to do except show up after being given less than an hour’s notice.
She and my Dad picked up a “wedding” cake on the way back to our house from our wedding. While it wasn’t a real wedding cake, it had white frosting and was the cake we ate on our wedding day. We didn’t even ask her to pick one up – she did it on her own!
Post # 10
My mum is in Scandinavia and I’m in England so practically there isn’t much she can help with. I try and keep her involved though by telling her of meetings with vendors, how things are going, venting and so on. Every now and again I send her a link to something I like and ask her opinion, but as my mum is one of the most supportive people I know she loves everything I send across!
My mum has never been that interested in beauty and clothes, she always looks nice but it’s never been a big interest of hers. All of a sudden she’s all about how she’s going to look on the wedding day, talking about dresses, hair styles and even getting her nails done (she’s never had a manicure in her life!). I think it’s her way of showing she’s looking forward to the wedding and taking an interest.
I say keep your mum informed but don’t expect her to contribute much, especially if she’s not well. I’m sure she’ll enjoy hearing about your planning but she may not know what to say about it.
Post # 11
My mom is basically my go to person if I need an opinion on something. She is really good with letting me know what looks good and what doesn’t and reasuring me on things that I am not certain about. So things like stationary, flowers, colors, etc I turn to her for advice. She came with my Fiance and I to our tasting and she will be planning my shower, and keeping my sanity throughout this whole process. I am one of those ‘What if?” types of people who fret about things that haven’t happened yet. I always feel like i have to prepare myself for the worst possible scenario, it’s awful. I create stress for no reason at all! Luckily she is there to bring me back to reality.
Post # 12
My mom’s primary job so far has been to listen to me talk about the wedding constantly. I bought my dress online so she wasn’t involved except to give her opinion when I sent her the link, but she’s coming shopping for bridesmaids dresses because I’m indecisive and I value her opinion. As it gets closer, she’ll be helping me with various projects like my cardbox and pumpkin carving! (Yes, pumpkin carving. For my wedding. It’s going to be awesome.) I’ve also asked her to help me track down any people who fail to send in their RSVP cards.
Post # 13
My mom came on our one-day-do-all extravaganza. We met with two bakers, the venue, the DJ, and the photographer. She was also there to help me with the dress, picking it and purchasing. Despite all of this she had a major meltdown about how I didn’t like any of her ideas and wouldn’t let her be part of the action. *sigh*. She is also doing our flowers (which seems to be the source of her thinking I don’t like her ideas, and thus don’t want her involved).
Post # 14
My mom is making my bouquet and my cake topper. I also asked her to look for things from her wedding that she’d let me use. I’m using her ring bearer pillow and she is looking for her cake cutter and toasting flutes.
Post # 15
Im not having my mom help at all.She live svery far away.
Post # 16
I brought my mom dress shopping a couple times…even bought one dress with her.
She is throwing me my bridal shower and I have not told her but I will be asking her to walk me with my father.