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Definitely, the DJ makes the largest impact. Our crowd didn't really want to dance, but he made sure that they did. He DID tick me off once, though. Overall, I'd say everything we spent time on was noticed by someone - we had plenty of comments on stuff so I know it was noticed. I'm glad we didn't do programs, our ceremony was too short for them. I wish I had eaten during the day and been a little more relaxed so I could have gotten more pics. I also wish I had asked to see some of the photographers shots after she took them, because when I received them I realized there were people in the back of our posed shots. She didn't even ask them to move! Had I realized that, i could have requested that the shot be retaken. Over all, I think the DJ and the photographer are most important.
I'm *so* happy we eloped. Having four guests of our choosing was perfect. Like, Laylabelle, I wish I had thought of bringing some water with us! Thankfully there was water in the limo our friend surprised us with, but before that I was pretty parched!
I am so happy I didn't stress that day. Yes, there were little things that may not have been EXACTLY as I had pictured them, but who cares? I would have been the only one stressing out and it wasn't worth it. The only thing I stressed about what the dance floor not filling up immediately. Silly me. After about three songs that floor was packed and everyone talks about it being the most fun wedding they have ever been at. The stress just isn't worth it - enjoy every moment of the day!
I'm happy we didn't spend money on a huge, elaborate cake or a DJ (so I'll have to disagree with laylabelle). We got a really small simple cake and we only saw it twice during our reception (when we first entered and when we cut it) before it was cut up and eaten by guests.
Also, we used our MacBook as a DJ, and we saved so much money by doing this. Our DOC made sure the first dance, family dances and last dance cues were on schedule, and other than that, everyone danced and had a great time. No one even noticed there was no DJ.
I'm glad we spent money on chivari chairs. It was a big cost because they're about $7 a pop, but our venue came with the ugliest chairs and I just couldn't stomach them. The chivari chairs transformed the room. We also didn't get floral centerpieces and did branches with tons and tons of candles, and I honestly think it made more of an impression that any lavish centerpiece. The room literally glowed and exuded warmth. It was amazing.
I would think that anything that allows your guests to have fun and makes them feel appreciated is worth the money. Anything that's extra decor, while nice if you have the time and engergy, is probably the stuff that gets overlooked. That's not to say you shouldn't create those lovely details, but it terms of what should take priority ... you get my drift.
People definitely notice the "little things" in the sense that guests pick up on what's important to you. In other words, we spent a lot of time making pinwheels and the guests noticed - not necessarily because they liked pinwheels or they are cool, but because we spent time on them. That being said, you tend to have a lot of left-overs, so my biggest piece of advice is to offer 60-75% of everything - cake, programs, favors, etc...I also think music is very important and whatever you choose to do (DJ, band, iPod), realize that there are 3-4 sections to a wedding (cocktail, dinner, all guest dancing, the dancing that happens when the parents go home...) and plan music that cultivates different moods to match. Have someone take your cell phone from you on your wedding day...you need to focus on yourself and your husband. Communicate what photos you want to your photographer (detail shots, group shots), and make sure that their style matches your aesthetic. So this was more of an advice post than what you wanted...At the end of the day, my guests have told me that they remembered the time I spent with them, not the funky escort cards or favors. So yes, don't sweat the "small stuff" or details unless it's actually fun for you. If it doesn't get done, it wasn't important. The bride and groom are like celebrities at the wedding, everyone wants to spend time in your glow. Focus on that.
I wish I had an outdoor sound system of some sort. I'm not sure if our guests could hear us during the ceremony since we were outside and sometimes there was a noisey motorcycle... I also kind of wish the ceremony was longer, but I don't know what else I would have added. I guess it was just my favorite part of the whole day and didnt want it to end! I would have gotten a 2nd dress for the reception. We didn't have a long reception, and no dancing or anything, but the corset of my dress was really squishing my ribs so by 9pm or so I was just wishing people would leave so I could get out of my dress (reception was at a bed and breakfast and hubby and I stayed there for the night)...
A DOC would have also helped, or at least someone designated that you talked to and knows the entire game plan and doesn't have a problem kind of bullying people a little bit. Some of our stuff never made it to the reception which stunk (nothing important, just meant some wasted money), and some of our guests were drinking the champage during cocktail hour BEFORE the toasts resulting in there being none left by the time hubby and I came in (not really sure why it was out already anyway, but oh well. at least they didnt eat our cake!).
I absolutely LOVED having a few minutes alone with my husband right after the ceremony to just take a deep breath and bask in all of our joy (and admire the new bling :p). We hopped in our horse and carriage for a ride around the subdivision before going back and getting the rest of our pictures with the bridal party, but you can do it anyway you'd like probably.
I know my post sounds like a lot of complaining, but honestly, it was still one of the best days of my life (I'm still not entirely sure if the day I got married or the day I was proposed to was better). Just try to relax and enjoy it. If your limo is white and not black (like mine) don't worry (unless you paid extra money or something) because nobody else will care and it still gets the job done. Also give yourself plenty of time, more than you think you'll need, so that you don't have to feel rushed (it took me maybe 35-45 minutes to get into my dress when my mom thought it would only take 15. glad I gave myself the extra time anyway!)
Practice the ceremony kiss (I have no idea why that thought never crossed my mind) so that you can kind of get good angles for pictures. Not romantic and passionate I know, but our first kiss pictures didn't turn out so well because my husband was basically enveloping my face lol (not in a gross too much pda way). Also, practice cutting a cake maybe? We had a hard time with that. Partially because the cake topper was in the way and partially because it's kind of hard to hold the knife and control it with two hands on it lol
phew. that was longer than I intended... lol
I totally agree with laylabelle -- DJ is key. Our crowd would have danced regardless, but he did a REALLY great job. Probably my favorite vendor of the whole wedding, actually.
I'm glad I ate. Oh man, having some bagels and food to munch on while we got ready was critical.
I'm also really happy with all the stuff we decided to cut, actually. We approached the whole thing with the mindset of "We are just throwing a huge party, that's all." and it kept us sane in the week leading up to it. I know a lot of brides have an incredibly insane week before their wedding, but ours was just gravy. We had plotted out all of our tasks and got so many things done ahead of time that come that week, there was almost nothing to do. It was awesome. We got to focus on really just enjoying ourselves with everyone. THAT was the most important thing :)
Love these posts! I have to start off by saying, I stressed hardcore the 2 days before the wedding...but the day of, I was 100% cool and calm, no nerves at all until I heard everyone stand when the pastor said "please rise." Then I was like HOLY CRAP that was a LOT of people!!!" But that subsided after about 4.2 seconds.
Im Thrilled about:
Making sure we kept with our only rule for the wedding - Not stuffy, the guests need to have a LOT of fun, and so do we. We didnt want any of our decisions to make any guests feel uncomfortable.
doing a first look. We did a first look 3 hours before the ceremony. This resulted in ZERO stress and INCREDIBLE photographs. We had all the time in the world (ok well 3 hours, which is a TON of time) to get photos of just the two of us, our BP, and family. I still had time to steam my dress and retouch my makeup prior to the ceremony. Also, we got to enjoy our full cocktail hour.
I took time to do little things to make the guests feel special - individual flowers at each place setting, naming the tables after things that were special to us and our guests (they noticed,) collecting wine corks for the place cards and putting a funny thank you note to our friends on the seating card table for supporting a habit to create our dream, special songs, etc.
That we decided to have a photobooth - hugest hit EVER. Ditto with the candy buffet. We also had a Football Room where we projected the Ohio State vs USC game. Half of our guests were OSU alumni, we figured it would be a good outlet for them. Really, not many people were in there all night, but they LOVED that they could pop in to check the score and see the highlights.
That we really focused on a great menu for our guests. People are still raving about the food at our wedding. I want someone I know to get married there so I can appreciate it as a guest, I was NOT hungry at the wedding! As a reuslt, I am REALLY happy I asked the wait stafff to box us up some plates to bring home.
We kept the wedding about US - minimal tradition -no bouquet toss or garter toss, no group dances, no sand, etc.
THINGS ID DO DIFFERENTLY
First and foremost - HIRE A DOC....I was mistaken in thinking that my on site coordinator was the same thing - but she wasnt and that was MY mistake. My BMs and family stepped up and ran things well, but the day of it was kind of a CF to be like "who is doing this, please be here at this time, meet at the BP limo at this time," etc. A DOC would have HUGELY helped. Some things got missed, but it wasnt a huge deal. There should have been a large floral arrangement on the seating card table (brought over from the church) but the person that brought it to the reception didnt know what it was for and left it on the BP bus. Oh well...
Not focus so much on the wedding cake. Seriousy. Id fork out the cash in a HEARTBEAT again for my husbands grooms cake (3D model of the Ohio State Stadium - he and all our guests loved it) but our cake? Meh. A sheet cake from a grocery store could have been better. That and the baker blatantly disregarded what I asked him to do because he felt that it looked "too spring garden party and not enough wedding." Lame. Delicious, but overpriced and I was pissed that when I walked in, he had totally disregarded our instruction.
Make my florist do a mock up - my centerpieces were ALL WRONG. I gave her a picture, said "copy these" and she gave me the info - price, dimensions, etc. We got there and they were only about 8" across when they should have been like 24" to 30" and were arranged jsut all wrong. Ugh.
I still love all of the paper products I made myself (most of them 2 layers and embossed) - the menus, programs, seating cards, thank you notes, "in memory of" signs, "reserved for" signs, Bride & Groom signs, my hand drawn maps for the invites, etc. In the end, mine were so intricate I'd have just paid someone to do them for me with my template. It was a HUGE headache and big time consumer.
Im sure there is more, let me think!!
Just don't put stuff off till the last minute. I didn't have a choice because I was sick with walking pneumonia up until a few days before the wedding (finally had to get steriods from the doctor to make it go away!). But I wish I could have spent the few days before the wedding when people were starting to get into town NOT doing last minute stuff.
I know that this isn't probably exactly what you're looking for, but I'm glad that I spoke up on matters that really mattered to me. For instance, I had an outdoor wedding and on either side of the archway, there's an open field area on one side and a stone pathway on the other. Everyone assumed that I would use the open area for the wedding, but I'm so glad that I spoke up and went with the pathway instead, because that was what I really wanted and it ended up being gorgeous.
If you have any ideas that just drive at you, go with them if you can. I had an idea about putting up curtains in our colors in the archway. It involved having to buy the material and staying up until about 3 the morning of the wedding sewing them, but it was one of the prettiest decorations to me.
There really wasn't anything that I didn't like, except that some of the songs that we provided the D.J. with didn't get played. The worst was that they would start to play some of them and then stop. The music part that bugged me the most was when I started hearing what I consider to be typical wedding songs after they mentioned that they had ran out of my music. I used to be in the wedding videography business, so I had just grown tired of a lot of them, but I had never mentioned any particular song that I didn't like, nor did they play ones I loathed.
I wasn't really too thrilled that the closing song ended up being 'We Are Family'. I can't stand that song and I've heard it at way too many weddings.
I'm also glad that we didn't do any of the traditions. There was no candle lighting or sand mixing, bouquet toss or garter toss. None of them were really us and it left us more time to do things like eat and be able to have fun with our friends. We had people travel from Texas and Wisconsin to Indiana for us and I loved that I was able to actually spend time with them.
I'm adding another comment, since my first one was rather specific to me and not very helpful to you :-)
Being stress-free was a very good decision. Don't worry about looking like a bridezilla, having to please anyone, or fussing with ribbon. It's your wedding day and the only thing you have to do is get married. Someone else took charge of my clutch - thank you - because I didn't keep track of anything the whole day. I just held my husband's hand and floated through the day. I didn't even keep an eye on the time or when we had to get to the ceremony. Someone else took care of that. Delegate and then trust your friends to make it happen.
First look: wonderful and relaxing. It's very nice to go into a marriage together and going to our ceremony together was a way to do so. It does not diminish the ceremony in any way. It was very sweet to be together before the ceremony and to look at each other realizing that we were about to marry each other.
Photographer: one you trust to get the photos you want. My husband and I are terrible at posing in photographs, so we choose a photographer who gave very clear directions (and was sassy too!). My point is that I didn't have to think about it, stress about it, be responsible for the photography.
What I said about eloping was pretty brief before. What made it good: complete control of the guestlist, no drama, no fussing over extraneous 'details' that don't really matter, choosing to have the elements of a wedding we wanted (formal attire, bouquets), privacy (this was important to us two introverts).
Little things don't really matter and here I'm going to break a cardinal weddingbee rule: shoes don't really matter as long as they're comfortable. Buying something for a single photo... not the main point of your wedding day. The Something borrowed, blue, new thing? Cute, but again, not that important. Feel beautiful and like a bride however you do that (veil? dress? special lipstick? go for it) and marry your love in the ceremony you want surrounded by the people you want there.
Before I got married, I was fixated on getting some things just right - like the borrowed, blue, new thing. I fussed like heck over my veil. I worried that each detail, if not perfectly right, would ruin my wedding day. It's not true. I was comfortable in my wedding dress and shoes, I was happy with my wedding guests and ceremony, and I was happy with the man I was marrying. That's all that really mattered. There was nothing left to be stressed about (even when my photographer stepped on my train, leaving a big black flipflop mark ;-))
I agree with Layla that the DJ was really important. Though mine annoyed me as well. I didn't want him to play every single group dance ever made like he did because I didn't mind if people were dancing the entire time or night.
I also loved having a first look. It gave us a little time together and made it a lot less rushed after the ceremony to take pictures of us together. Plus it allowed us to get away from our location for a little while to get some of the pictures from the wedding that we love the most.
I regret that I didn't have a lot of time to DIY for the wedding. It sort of makes me sad seeing how some of the bees go crazy with DIY!
I was happy I appointed one of my BM to the specific task of fixing my veil after my dad lifted it off my face. There's only one picture of my veil looking funky.
I also agree with the whole dj thing. Ours was fantastic and made for a rocking party.
Another part I was really glad my hubby found and researched was our limo. I know this isn't important to a lot of people but ours was fantastic.
Except ours was a stretch so it could fit the entire bridal party.
We were also happy we didn't go blowing up our budget on anything. If we couldn't afford it, it didn't matter. (well I had to convince myself of this.)
Our ceremony was awesome, we had a band play worship songs after my dad gave us away and that made our service so unique and everyone loved it, I am so happy I pushed to do this, eventhough a lot of people tried to suggest other things.
Don't worry about font or having things matchy matchy, no one notices this. My invite font didn't match my programs and such, and it didn't matter one bit.
Don't worry about anything the morning of. What's done is done what's not can't be finished without a ton of headaches, so just let it go. Make your moto that day I don't care and tell everyone who asks you annoying questions that day to decide for themselves.
One thing I highly recommend doing is going around to your tables super early. We went right after our first dances and toasts. I was so happy we did. It helped in a number of ways. 1. almost everyone was seated at the tables at that point. 2. Most people were still sober. 3. You can move more quickly because people haven't started to dance yet, so your not being grabbed by people walking by. 4. It actually left us time to sit and eat once the dinner came out! 5. We could party, cause the obligation to say hi and thank you was out of the way!
I don't know what else, this post is long sorry. Just remember to stop and take notice of everything. Don't let the day pass you. I was very consious of this and it made me be able to remember everything that happened.
Really try to focus on your vows. This part was the only part that is a little foggy for me because I was so nervous and shaky and on the verge of tears. So really try to concentrate on the words your husband is promising and on your promise to him.
Last piece of advice, BREATH!
Things I loved!
My photographers! I had 2...one main, and he chose a second. Your photographer can't be in 2 places at once which is why we chose to have the second. They both were amazing and we have over 700 fabulous pictures from the minute I got to the salon until we were getting into the shuttle at the end of the night. By far the best investment I ever made! One thing to keep in mind about your photographer - let them do what they're paid to do. Try not to dictate every photo they take. You hired them for a reason. Also - don't let them take up too much of your time. A good photographer will make sure you get the photos you want while also allowing you to attend as much or as little as your cocktail hour/reception as you want. Make sure they aren't monopolizing your time.
Our band/DJ - they kept everyone on the dance floor. A good band/DJ can make or break a night. We were at a friend's wedding in March, and the DJ was awful. Needless to say, half of the wedding left shortly after dinner.
My brothers and SIL. They kept everyone who was stressing me out away from me throughout the night. They were the 3 most amazing people at my wedding aside from my husband. I'd recommend having someone like that!!
Things I would do differently:
I wouldn't have let my mom stress me out so much. She tied me into knots the day of my wedding. I couldn't relax until they got into their car and drove home. I let out a huge sigh of relief at that moment. Unfortunately, my wedding day was the most stressful day of my life thanks to my mom. Don't let anyone stress you out. It's your one and only chance to enjoy your wedding, and I'm sad to say that I was worried through most of it. Luckily, like I said above, I had my brothers and my SIL who wisked her away anytime they saw her complaining to me about something else. I couldn't have been more thankful for them!
One last thing! Take a few minutes to stand with your new hubby and look around at all of the people who are there celebrating you! My hubby and I did this and it's an overwhelming, emotional feeling that everyone is there b/c they're celebrating your marriage. Awesome!
Wow. You ladies are just awesome. Thank you SO much for all of your advice and sharing this information. I am reading slowly and taking it all in and will really try my best to follow it all!
This is a great thread!
I would say the #1 most important thing is to be organized! My venue was kind of tricky to get to so I made sure that everyone involved knew where they were going, and what their responsibilites were. That helped take the pressure of me on the day of and saved me a ton of hassel.
The second best thing I did is have everyone come to me! The bridesmaids and I stayed at the place where the ceremony and reception were being held and I had the hair and make-up people come to us. It was so great to just relax and hang out the morning of the wedding with all of my favorite people around! Those times were some of my favorite memories of the whole day and I'm so glad I didn't stress about appointments or making sure everyone was there on time. I really belive it set the tone for the whole day!
Which brings me to my third point, I truly believe that if you and your husband enjoy yourselves and have a good time at the reception, the guests will take note and follow suit! We had such a great time and even though things definitely did go wrong (like half of my cake topper missing!) I didn't let it bother me so no one even noticed.
The things I would do differently? Well, like Kelly said- the cake...no one cared and we didn't even get a good picture of it. The second thing I felt I wasted time/energy/and money on was the flowers. It wasn't at all what I had ordered and no one ended up taking the centerpieces so we litterally had to throw them all in the dumpster after the wedding. I still get sad when I think of how much money we wasted on those stupid flowers.
Other than that-- everything turned out perfectly and it was an amazing day but I think the biggest lesson I learned is that sometimes the best memories are the ones that just happen on thier own!!!
Good Luck
I had been waivering on the DOC and just signed and sent my deposit check to her! I think it's going to give me great piece of mind.
Thank you, thank you! Keep them coming. It is not only helpful, but also a little fun to hear how you all feel about the wedding after the fact.
For those that had the hair/makeup come to you...how did you go about finding stylisht and make up artist that will travel to your location?
Oh also, I had posted a while back in the music section asking what songs got people dancing at weddings. Did any of you have one or two songs that you could put your finger on as being a bit hit at your wedding?
Hi!
I was one of the ones who had my stylist come to us on the morning of the wedding but I got lucky because my regular hairdresser specializes in weddings so I booked her as soon as I got engaged! I also only had 3 bridesmaids so I was able to pay for their up-do's as part of our gift to them. I realize that this is not possible for everyone and we lucked out by having everything in the same place but if it's at all possible for you I highly recommend it... It was such a fun morning and I love the pictures of all the "girls" (even my grandma) hanging out together and drinking mimosas!!!
Do:
1. DOC!
2. Enjoy your guests... it's unlikely your fam/friends/etc will all ever be in one place ever again.
3. Realize that everyone is going to take your lead... if you are stressing out, no one will be having fun. If you are having fun- it will be more fun for your guests.
Don't:
1. Forget to hire a DOC! :)
I'm wondering the same thing Mimi LOL!!! What's a DOC?! I'm so not good with these abbreviations... this site needs a glossary haha
A DOC is a wedding planner that you hire just to coordinate the "day of" your wedding. You plan everything but they execute your vision. See the WB Wiki:
In no particular order:
1. I'm so glad we had a videographer. We weren't planning to originally, but ended up doing it primarily for my grandmother who couldn't travel to the wedding. Now I couldn't be happier that this little film of our special day is in the works. It will definitely be one of the more important keepsakes.
2. I loved our venue. The setting was so serene, natural, and rustic, yet everything felt modern and chic at the same time. Pick a place that speaks to you and speaks for you.
3. My MOH had my handkerchief handy when I had an ugly-face-cry moment during the ceremony. Have the hankies/tissues on hand (as well as touch up makeup)!!!
4. The details that come together for the big day will be noticed and appreciated by your guests, but they'll never miss the things that never made an appearance. Don't stress.
5. We didn't want to make a big deal of our first dance, so we had our MC invite others to join us on the dance floor after 1 minute. In retrospect, that was too short. It felt like we'd only started dancing when we started getting crowded out and people began cutting in!
6. Minor, but I think all of us walked down the aisle too quickly. I hate it when people walk too slowly and it takes forever for the procession to happen, and then we went and erred on the opposite side!
7. As much as you can focus your energies on the things that will affect the way your guests enjoy themselves, this will have the biggest impact. Music - important; Food - important; Communicating clear information (times, locations, agendas, etc.) - important.
8. The more organized you are, the more organized everyone else can be. NOBODY has as much information about how your wedding is supposed to play out as you have in your pretty little head, so make sure you share this info with your attendants and family members beforehand (preferably a few days before the madness begins, but not so far in advance that people forget). Let them know how they can help.
9. Focus on the things that matter to you, and not what you think tradition dictates. Don't want to wear a veil? Skip it. Don't want to do a bouquet and garter toss? Skip it. Can't live without a 5-tier cake? Include it.
I can tell you some things I overlooked - I only told the ushers about handing out programs to the guests, ushering the guests, and handing out exit items to the guests. I forgot to tell them to put programs at all of the reserved seats and the bridal party seats. So we didn't have any programs to look at during the ceremony, and neither did anyone in my bridal party.
I should have asked my photographer to take more candids of my immediate family members. My mom was a little upset that the only photos that had her in them were like 4 formal church family photos and 2 photos at the reception. Guess I should have made a point of asking the photographer to take more candids of my mom and I. My dad and I had plenty of candids from when he walked me down the aisle and our father/daughter dance.
Umm other than that I would say my day went pretty well. Be prepared to hardly ever get to go to the bathroom though. My mom was my helper for the bathroom. Everytime I'd try to go find her to help me I would get bombarded by someone at the reception. Everyone wants to talk to you and get a photo with you and it makes it very hard to find your way to the bathroom when you gotta go!
Oh and I want to say something about the first look. We did one, but I went down the side aisle on my own to meet my husband in a separate room where him and the photographer were. Well they didn't know exactly when I was coming, just that I was coming soon. So when I got there they were talking and the photog wasn't ready to take the very first impression photo at all. So the photos he really got were of my fiance seeing me about 5 seconds after the first look. He still had a huge smile on his face, but I do wish there would have been a photo taken right away of when my fiance's jaw dropped. Oh well, it will always be in my memory. It was probably the best part of the whole day! I highly recommend a first look.
So maybe if you do a first look and your fiance is in a separate side room, make sure you send someone in right before you to tell them you are coming and to get the camera ready!
Ok I have one more thing to add. The four weeks before the wedding I spent a lot of time trying to decide if I should get a DOC. A lot of bees had posted saying that they are a necessity so I thought I should get one too. I was really stressed out about all the planning at that point too. I wasted my time meeting with potential DOC's who just didn't seem that professional or helpful at all and were still charging an arm and a leg. In the end I asked some friends to help set up some of the reception items I would have hired a DOC for (and one of them was actually really excited about it because she always wanted to be a wedding planner). So in the end it was stupid of me to waste all that time worrying about a DOC. My friends set up the items and the rest of the time I didn't really need anyone to keep things on task. My vendors did that automatically since I had given them detailed schedules ahead of time.
I really don't think a DOC is necessary. And if you haven't booked one months in advance and used them throughout wedding planning then I wouldn't book one at all. They aren't that much help in the end if you already have everything done yourself, and your family and friends will step up for you if something goes wrong. I didn't think mine would, but I was pleasantly surprised on the wedding day how much people would help out to make your day perfect.
So for me a DOC is unnecessary and just an extra expense you don't need.
You know what, my MUA was late and therefore I was almost late to my wedding! We missed the first look (something I had been debating throughout our engagement) so we ended up seeing each other for the very first time at the ceremony...and you know, it worked. I felt like things happened for a reason.
I made a snafu or two, of course - I forgot to make an escort card for my Best Friend, one of my Bridesmaids...but my MOH took care of it. I forgot to pack or ask for a knife for the cake cutting, and the caterers cake out with a huge, samurai-like sword...but guests got a kick out of it! I loved it all...even the fact that my hubby talked me out of hiring a DOC because he insisted he and his family could take care of it - and you know what, they did!
I am also so thankful we were frugal enough to be fiscally responsible for our wedding planning, and now, with our venue deposit being returned to us, plus wedding gifts, we can see how little we spent, yet still created a special, personal day for us and our family/friends.
<3
Loved = That even though I was stressing our packed restaurant all our guests said they loved the cozy/closeness atmosphere. There were no empty seats.
Hated = That the church coordinator rushed us off to take pictures right after the ceremony was over and we weren't able to greet/Thank our guests for coming. There were a handful of people that went to our wedding and not the reception and I would have liked to acknowledge them.
Wished I had = See "Hated" above and also I wished I had taken my guest book to the reception. Only about 50 of our 150 guests signed it at the church and I know some people were asking about it. A minor detail to some but it's fun to look back on little things like that.
DH and I decided instead of doing personalized vows to write notes to each other that we read while we were getting ready. I'm glad we did things this way because we were both so emotional standing up there - there's no way we would have been able to say anything other than the traditional vows. And it was special to us to know what the other felt privately.
Good Stuff:
*We eloped. It was the best decision I ever made.
*Our DJ at the reception back home rocked.
*Potluck reception. It was awesome. It worked out great, the food people brought was awesome, it saved us money, and it was in lieu of gifts (which we didnt want)
Bad stuff:
*I ruined every single picture of me at the reception! I used tattoo cover makeup at my outside ceremony when we eloped and in pictures it looked amazing (see my avatar? No arm tatts!) but for our indoor reception back home... the makeup turned out bright white/near reflective in AALLLLLLLL the photos. I spent hours and hours photoshopping each and every pic (and crying). I got them all eventually fixed but everyone else's photos of me that they took look like the same big 'ol mess. Live and learn and don't cover your tatts I guess?
*We had record breaking heat that day and our reception site had no AC. I was a sweaty mess half way through dinner.
*We partied so much we forgot to bust out the champagne. We still have some leftover nearly 3 months later!
*No one took home our favor bags that I spent forever and a day on. You want some stale gummy candy? Anyone??
*Our first dance. We freaked out with all eyes on us, tried to joke our way through it, but no one laughed. Cricket, cricket.
Lesson learned:
Put all the effort in you want. Care about what you want to care about. But realize that no one critques your wedding choices like you do. Not even close. Things may go wrong but you have to let them go. You don't want to remember your wedding for the bad things or what you would have done differently. Embrace your wedding and its quirks because it is yours and yours alone. Have a sense of humor the day of and after for the things that went less than perfect. Cuz no matter what happens, all your loved ones are going to think you were absolutely breathtaking and your wedding was gorgeous.
Loved: my dress, my flowers (especially my bouquet), my shoes. The Dude's suit.
Hated: I didn't really hate the ceremony, but I wish I would've worked on it more, polished it up a bit. Rehearsed it a bit more thoroughly.
Wish I would have decorated more for the rehearsal dinner, hired someone or designated someone to take photos at the rehearsal dinner, and hired a videographer for the wedding.
WHAT I LOVED
1. That my hubby (without telling me) decided to deliver OOT gift bags to his family members as he picked them up at the airport. That hadn't been my plan but ended up working out brilliantly as they had just gotten off a long cross-country flight and were famished. They were so thankful!
2. Hiring a photographer who, most importantly in my opinion, we were comfortable with! I've been in so many weddings where the photoggrapher was bossy and drove the bridal party crazy. Except for when we took portraits, I didn't even notice that my photographer was there but he still did an excellent job of capturing all my favorite moments. Some photographers may do good work, but if they are overbearing during your special day, it's not woth it in my opinion.
3. Having food (sub trays, chips, veggie trays & soda) @ the ceremony venue for bridal party & family members who were in pictures, venders, etc. to eat before the ceremony which started at 1 pm. It was great to know that anyone that wanted to could eat before the ceremony and enjoy the ceremony without being hungry.
4. Having my 8 months pregnant MOH inform the best man that she may need help with my train since she was the only bridesmaid and unsure of how she would do with bending over and having to reach. Sure enough, she needed his help and he wasn't caught off guard!
5. Staying local for our first night (the hotel was only 20 minute drive from the venue) and not having extensive travel as part of our honeymoon (we went on a cruise that left from our city). It was great to start relaxing immediately!
6. So glad my MOH insisted my mom put a chunk of leftover wedding cake in our freezer for when we got back. We only got one bite each (during pictures, of course) and then got distracted. It was so fun to actually enjoy a piece of our own cake the night we returned from our honeymoon.
7. Having flowers that I LOVED! Every time I look at the pictures I see my flowers and burst into a smile!!!
8. So glad I wrote thank you notes as gifts came in pre-wedding. It was so nice to have a nice chunk done and then the ones for the gifts we received @ the wedding weren't so overwhelming!
9. Loved it that I took 2 days off of work pre-wedding and 2 days off of work post-honeymoon. It definitely helped make things more relaxing and less stressful!
WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY
1. I would have been more specific in communicating with family members RE pictures. We took pictures with out families by ourselves pre-ceremony since we weren't planning on seeing each other. We were planning on taking pictures together with our families post-ceremony. My family didn't quite get that memo and when we were ready for them for pictures they were already at the reception site. It makes me sad that i don't have a picture of my hubby & I with my entire extended family. So glad my parents stayed, at least!
2. I would have had someone make sure my dress & train were laying properly for pictures. When I look at a few of the full length ones, I think "Dang, I wish someone would have fixed that for me!"
3. Before pictures I would have explained to all male family members that if they wanted to put their arm behind my back, they could not rest it firmly on my back! THey didn't really get this concept which resulted in my veil coming off as I was walking down the aisle after the ceremony! No big deal but I wish I had explained it to them!
I have one piece of advice: Do Not Worry About the Weather. It doesn't do a bit of good. I spent the ten days before our outdoor wedding OBSESSING about the weather--even though I booked the place not worried about it at all. I checked three different weather sources at least 20 times a day and each of them said something different and changed daily, if not more. It really spoiled the week leading up to the wedding for me. A few days prior to the wedding it looked like it was all going to be fine. They called for rain Thursday and Friday but ALL weather reports indicated the Saturday (wedding day) would be PERFECT. It wasn't. It was the gloomiest day I have ever witnessed in my life. The rain held off though, that is until I was literally walking down the aisle!! But you know what--hair held up perfectly, guests could have cared less, and the picutres are awesome!! I wasted a lot of time and energy on worrying about something, that in the end, didn't matter at all!
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I'm wondering if maybe some of you newlyweds could tip me off on the details of your day regarding what you are SO happy you did...what you spent a lot of time on that didnt' matter...what went wrong/right?
What I'm trying to figure out is what items at the end of the day really made the biggest impact on making your day what it was, be it good or bad.
I think this may help me focus on the "important" things and not sweat the small stuff...or in advance know what to "sweat".
thank you!!