What do all you bees think?( I could really use some advice )

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
3365 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

I wouldn’t keep it a secret, although there is no need to mention anything if someone just compliments the ring; a simple, “Thank you” is fine. If you feel compelled to say something else, I think it would be perfectly appropriate to say, “It’s even more beautiful to me because it is a family heirloom.” That is true, and wouldn’t carry any stigma. Any mention of cost is in poor taste, IMO, regardless of whether it was “free” to you or you had to mortgage the house. It just isn’t anyone’s business.

Regarding the band, if it is something you like so well already, then leave it well enough alone. It IS yours, and it will be on your finger for a lifetime. If it were the original band from his grandmother, that wouldn’t have been your choice, either, but I bet it would have felt less “weird” than the band being made for his sister. Overall, I would view it as his mother having chosen the band (in reality, she did), so you will be wearing something from his grandmother and his mother, which would be quite special. Don’t change it just to change it.

Post # 4
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

awe honey no one is gonna look down on u thats a man pride right there, the idea of a family ring is an honor, my SO said his mother offered the same thing and we had talked about me getting a pear shape he was like do you mind a round its a round … 

 

now at 1st i thought i want my pear, then I was floored bythe fact his mother thinks so highly of me she would offer her mothers ring, I mean god that means i am really part of the family. 

It’s so nice to be welcomed like that, and of all the people who could be given such a keepsake to choose me it really moved me. 

 

Guys like to feel like they spent the most, but guys think different there is no shame. I mean one guy in a thread today said how gusy never ask each other how did you propose they just say congrats .,, girls compair every lil bit … i guessing what ring they give you is like that for them 

I really doubt anyone will think anything of being poor about it or anything to be ashamed of, its really amazing you are thought so highly of the family would give you a family keepsake

Be honored if he is embraced maybe you should re assure him, its so special to you that they think so much of you to give you such a rare family keep sake

 

keep in mind when ppl pass away the grandmother ring is something some families fight tooth and nail over getting … also alot of ppl lose rings and they never even make it down that far 

if you felt good about it till he said that take it with a grain of salt and feel good not only did he choose you his family choose you of all the ppl who could be given that ring 

Post # 5
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I absolutely do not think inherited rings signify that you are “poor.”  I don’t think I’d say you guys got it for free because it sounds weird to say it that way.  But I would tell people with pride if I had an heirloom ring; it’s SO sentimental and something truly to be cherished.

Post # 7
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

I don’t think people are going to say you are poor or that your engagement shouldn’t be taken seriously.  If anything, they will be envious.  Not everyone has a family heirloom ring.  Especially one as pretty as you describe.  It would bother me if my SO ask me to lie about it.  You don’t have to tell people it was free or the whole story about his mother having it reset.  When people ask where he got the ring, simply reply:   It is a family ring, passed down from his grandmother, and you love it and are honored to wear it.  I, for one, am very envious.  I wish I had one!Laughing

Post # 10
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

@Future_Mrs_C25978:  I can’t wait to see it.  From your description, it sound gorgeous!  

Post # 12
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Future_Mrs_C25978:  No thanks needed, 🙂 it really is amazing to be so loved by a family they would want you to have it you enjoy and love it its an honor 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@echomomm:  +1. You have captured my thoughts. 

@Future_Mrs_C25978:  if I were you, I would talk to your boyfriend and explain your feelingA about it. I think having something from a family member is so special and probably 99% of people will think the same thing — that it is not viewed as cheap but an honor to have the privelage to wear something so sentimental. 

Post # 15
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@Future_Mrs_C25978: My parents were married 31 years ago in their late teens after long-distance romance in their earliest high school days.  My dad proposed with a diamond that he inherited from his godmother, and a setting that he paid for my pawning his highschool class ring right after he got it!!  God love them, they are still together. It isnt’t about what he SPENDS on the ring, but what it MEANS to the two of you.  Its a commitment.  A love.  The pledge of your lives! It doesn’t make you “poor” to use a family ring, it makes it more special- more authentic and heart-felt. Honorable even!! You have been entrusted with his family’s legacy and pride for crying out loud! It’s certainly less “superficial” or “commercial”.  Have to agree here that MALE PRIDE is the issue at hand!!! (But i would rather my man HAVE that pride than not!! 😉 Right?)

 

IF YOU LIKE THE RING AND LOVE THE MAN-  Say “Yes/ I love you, thank you”

 

IF YOU’RE UNHAPPY WITH THE RING, BUT LOVE THE MAN- Say “Yes, I will marry you! I love you so much! But I cant accept this ring.  I have always dreamt of my own individual ring designed together by my to-be husband and myself. To botch up your grandmothers ring to do that is crazy! Especially if your sister might someday want to wear it as-is as her own wedding ring! I couldn’t possibly…”

 

Post # 16
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Future_Mrs_C25978:  that just goes to show how much she really thinks of you and wants you to have something not only beautiful but with more meaning 

 

i mean i sure if she has 5 sisters there are alot of grand daughters all pining over the ring as well maybe even grandsons wishing they could give their girls that ring so def feel speical I really cant wait to see it (i am pretty sure i saw up there somewhere you were gona post pics 😛 )

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors