Post # 1
So I’m recently engaged, and my wedding is in December. My best friend and MOH is getting married in October of this year. I am her MOH also. (I know it’s kinda confusing.) We were talking about what a BM should be expected to pay for. Is it unreasonable to assume that BMs will pay for hair and make up the day of? Also, they will pay for their dress, shoes, jewelry, etc. Correct? I’m so confused!! Please help!
Post # 3
My BMs are paying for all of the above. However, for hair and makeup, they will be given the option to use my makeup artist and hair dresser (haven’t found someone to do my hair yet though!). If they want to get it done somewhere else, that’s totally fine. And, I don’t mind if they do their own hair and makeup, as long as their hair looks “done” and not just flat ironed.
I think it depends though – have you talked to your BMs about it? I was very upfront and provided them with cost estimates because none of us have been in a wedding before and I wanted to let them know what they were getting into by saying yes!
Edit: I’m also not making them buy jewelry – they can wear whatever they want. Also for shoes, I picked a color range, and if they have something, great! If not, I can help them find a cheap pair (although most are using it as an excuse to buy a new pair of shoes).
Post # 4
I think a lot of it depends on what the bride conveys at the beginning… and the budget of the wedding. If it were a $100,000 wedding and I were a MOH I would not expect to pay for anything. But if it were a $10,000 wedding, I would certainly pay for everything as a BM because obviously the B&G want to do things smaller scale.
I think flat out, BMs/MOH should be expected to pay for dress/shoes. If you want them to pay for hair/makeup, ask if they would like an appointment the day of the wedding (stating the cost) and if not, give suggestions as to styles. I think that usually, jewelry and accessories are part of the bride’s gift to the BMs.
Post # 5
My BMs are paying for their dress, shoes (they can use whatever ones they want in a specific color), and jewelry (again, can use whatever they want). I am paying for their hair. They have the option of getting their makeup done…at their expense.
Post # 6
It is pretty typical for a BM to pay for their own dress & shoes.
Regarding hair/make-up if the bride requires it, then the bride really should flip the bill or leave it optional for them to do their own.
When it comes to jewelry, same thing as the hair, if you want them to wear specific jewelry – brides will typically gift it, or leave it optional.
Post # 7
Dress, shoes, hair, and makeup (in my experience, the jewelry is usually the bride’s gift to the bridesmaids).
Post # 8
I think dress and shoes should be all that’s required. Above and beyond should be asked…
I’m only asking they pay for dress and shoes. I’m organizing jewlery and hair and makeup is their choice. 1 BM is paying for her hair and makeup, 1 BM is saying I do not want a gift, and has expicictly asked I pay for makeup instead I agreed. The 3rd BM is doing her own hair and makeup.
Post # 9
I’m paying for all of my BM’s dresses. Shoes they are on their own. Hair/Make-up is going to be be done by my fellow mua friends. The BM will pay for their part of our Vegas trip + some outings here and there. I don’t expect them to pay for a dress they weren’t going to buy in the first place.
Post # 10
My girls paid for their dresses. They also bought their shoes if they needed a new pair (I asked them to wear some type of silver dress shoe). None of us got our hair or makeup professionally done.
Personally, I think if a bride requires her BMs to get their hair and makeup professionally done, especially by a specific stylist, then the bride should pay. If it’s optional, then the BMs should pay. I also think the bride should pay if she require the girls to wear certain accessories, like pashminas, jewelry, etc. Why that’s different than making them buy a certain dress, I don’t know! I think the most important thing is to consider your BMs’ finances and what they’re comfortable paying, and then go from there.
Post # 11
i paid for their dresses and will be paying for their hair. they are on their own for shoes and makeup (if they want it)
Post # 12
i think @Mrs. Fireworks: is right, it depends on what kind of wedding you are having, what you are spending…. but also you should know what your BM’s can afford to pay for… So i dont think there is a set rule on what BM’s should pay for its more depending on what they can afford…I would jsut let them know what you want and your vision of what you think they should look like on the day of your wedding and see what they think and if they will be able to pay for all of what you want… hope that makes sense LOL (for example: one of my BM jsut lost her job and is worried about money, so i offered to buy her dress and shoes for the day of, and help with whatever else i can…)
Post # 13
My BMs are paying for their dress ($50) and shoes ($50). I’m paying for their hair and giving them journals and a Burt’s Bees gift set as a thank-you.
As PPs have mentioned, I think you need to keep who your BMs are in mind as you are planning your wedding. For instance, none of my girls have a lot of money, so I kept that in mind when choosing a dress and shoes. Remember to be considerate and think of what you would realistically want to spend if you were a BM.
Post # 14
Thanks so much for all of your advice. Ya’ll have made me feel much better about this! I am thinking that they can buy their dresses. Because it’s a winter wedding, they will be long, so I don’t care about their shoes. They can wear their hair and make up how they want it. I was thinking of buying their jewelry as a gift. What do ya’ll think? Will that be a sufficient gift?
Post # 15
@FutureMrsFord1087: Absolutely. Make sure you make it clear whether you want that jewelry worn at the wedding! You sound like a low-key bride who is easy to deal with. 🙂
Post # 16
@FutureMrsFord1087:I think that sounds great! That’s pretty much what I’m doing with my girls. Personally, I think that if a bride expects them to get their hair/makeup “done,” then the bride should pay for it. And the bridesmaids should have a say in choosing the dress, so as not to get either an incredibly expensive dress, or ugly one.