Post # 1
My fiancee proposed on Christmas, and I want to start planning even though our wedding wont be until 2013. He never wants to talk about anything that has to do with the wedding, and i cant even get him to set a date, just a year. our relationship is struggling because everytime we try to talk about it he gets angry and we get into a fight. idk what to do? should i just leave it alone and not talk to him about it and stop planning and looking into things and try to forget that i really want to plan? We are supposed to have dinnner with his mother this week and i know she wants to talk about the wedding and that hes dreading it. how to i get him to want to talk about planning and set the date.
Post # 3
he just proposed but he won’t talk about the wedding? was he pressured into proposing? honestly, it doesn’t sound like he’s ready to get married.
Post # 5
Interesting. I know J isn’t big into talking about the wedding yet, but he doesn’t get angry if I bring anything up. He just doesn’t care to think about it all yet since our wedding isn’t until 2012. He just calls me crazy, but well, he’s a guy. I would have a heart to heart with him. Ask him why he seems to get angry/upset about the wedding topic. If you don’t want to do that, then I say keep it to yourself for awhile. Don’t make him feel like you’re rushing though the year is far off. I often use this board to get my excitement, ideas, etc out. It helps a lot so I don’t bombard J with a ton of things.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t pressure him about it here is the guys mindset when it comes to getting engaged and the wedding:
” O.k. whew I popped the question and she said yes, what a relief, I am so glad I have some down time now to enjoy being with my fiancee with no pressure from here about getting engaged”
And then the happy new bride to be steps in and says :”Let’s plan!”
It can be a scary thing for a guy, by nature, they are not planners. If the conversation comes up with his mother just say: “well we are just taking some time to enjoy our engagement, haven’t really set any details yet.”
If the situation is still the same in several months, then I would be getting concerned about his lack of enthusiasm for wanting to get married. Notice I say getting married and not the wedding, as most guys will not be jumping for joy about the logistics of planning a wedding.
Post # 7
getting engaged actually was a complete suprise to me. the topic actually had never come up throughout our relationship so far, and neither side of our families have brought it up, so he wasnt pressured into proposing, he did it on his own, i was completely suprised tbh.
no, im actually out of school.
ty to everyone for the advice.
Post # 8
My FI was stressed about the wedding for a good while – I was getting all into the details, he was freaking out about where the money was going to come from to pay for everything. Now he’s fairly ok with it. Have you joint finances or separate? Have you an idea/plan for how much you can afford to spend? TBH the only really useful thing to do so far out is save, you could change your minds ten times on venues or anything else between here and there!
Post # 9
“He said 2013 because he figured it was far enough out to not have to talk about it yet”
That’s what my DH said when I read him this
Post # 10
I would just talk to him..see what is up. When my FI proposed, he was actually shocked that I wanted to set a date right away. He was more shocked when I told him I had made a vendor apointment, the week later. He admitted to thinking I would just chill out and ‘enjoy the engagement’..not realizing that enjoying the engagement to me meant wedding planning!
Post # 11
my parents are actually paying for our wedding in full, they made an agreement with me and my sister that they would either pay for half of college or for a wedding. i didnt go to college and my sister did, so i get the wedding and she got the schooling.
we agreed on 2013 because im a plus size girl and my dream is to walk down the aisle, well not plus sized, because i want to feel beautiful on my wedding day, so as of now im on a very strict diet and exercise routine so i can reach my weight loss goal of 110 lbs by wedding day.
he just seems to not want to talk about it, and it drives me nuts because i really just want to pick a date and get everything reserved because everyone i know who has gotten married wasnt able to get married on the date they originally wanted and had to settle for a date that wasnt really on their list because everything was booked and thats a huge fear for me, but he doesnt even want to listen to anything i have to say about the wedding.