Post # 1
OK long story short i work with a girl that FH has been friends with for a while and wants her to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. he knows but the truth is i really don’t care for her. if we did not work together she is someone i really would not speak to at all, and she has pissed me off with things at work that in any other situation she would not even be invited to the wedding if i had my way but she did get us together along with my boss. so i don’t know what to do.
should i let her be a bridesmaid?
P.S. she has lots of tattoo’s ; ( all over her arms and neck back face ; ( AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i want to tell her i don’t have enough guys and leave it at that i don’t care if her feelings are hurt.
shes invited and i guess i’m OK with that. FH told me to do whatever i want about this situation.
but i want to be considerate of his feelings i love him so much and want him to be happy she’s his friend but i don’t like her too much.
P.S. just a lil back history: we never hang out with her she never calls him they have known each other Thur work for a long time.
Post # 3
She can be invited to the wedding but if she’s not family or a best friend, I don’t see why she should be a bridesmaid. She’s probably not expecting to be asked so don’t even mention it to her. If she comes to the wedding, cool. If not, also cool.
Post # 4
The tattoos should have nothing to do with your decision. However, the fact that you are not close to her and in fact do not even really like her should have everything to do with it. A bridesmaid is supposed to be good friends with the bride and stand up for her, if she is your husband’s friend she should be a groomswoman or simply be a guest. It’s not a good idea to make someone you do not care for as one of your attendants, it’s going to cause you stress and you do not need that.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid simply because you aren’t good friends with her, not because of the tattoos. If he feels that strongly about it have her stand up on his side.
Post # 6
Why cant she stand up on his side? And so what if she has tat’s. They are a very personal thing and should not be held against someone
Post # 7
@lolaswann: we did ask her but said he had to see if we had enough guys so i can still get out of it ; ) and i agree with you best friend or family its an honor to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 8
Post # 9
Since you don’t even like her, a fair compromise is to invite her as a normal guest. Don’t tell her anything about being a BM. Odds are she won’t be expecting it anyway.
Post # 10
the tattoos are a moot point, the fact that you don’t like her is enough to not make her a bridesmaid.
Post # 11
Well, I’m certainly not voting in your poll, because there isn’t a decent option.
Should you have her as your bridesmaid? No. Because I would hate to be a bridesmaid for someone that acted like this about choosing me.
It is clear you do not want her, so having her would be an insult and bitch move.
Can she be at the wedding? Sure.
Could she be on your FH’s side? Sure, if he wants.
Should her tattoos have anything to do with the wedding? Absolutely fucking not.
I’m honestly surprised that there are people still out there like this that aren’t 50+ years old.
I don’t even have a tattoo, or even really care for tattoos. But I would NEVER judge someone over what may not be my style.
Shame on you for doing it.
Post # 12
@Sassygrn: OK ok ladies easy on the burning me with the tat remarks ; ) i dident mean them in a bad way. but your all right in what your saying my bridesmaids should be close to me and me and her are not close at all her and FH are not close eather they have known eachother for a long time.
Post # 13
If you don’t like her, don’t haver her as a BM. You think this is difficult now? It’d be 100x worse if she’s a BM.
It’d be different if she was your SIL or something and your FI really wanted her in the wedding.
Post # 14
@HisNightOwl2014: You didn’t mean it in a bad way? “Think of the tattos in your pictures” is an insult and made my jaw drop.
Post # 15
@HisNightOwl2014: If you already asked her, it’s not very classy to retract the invitation.
Post # 16
I agree with others. Her tattoos shouldn’t matter. But you shouldn’t invite someone to be a bridesmaid if you arne’t close with her. But you’ve already invited her which puts you in a very awkard situation. Honestly you shouldn’t have invited her in the first place. Or if your fiance was the one that wanted her in the wedding he should have invited her to be one of his “groomspeople”. But now I”m not sure what to recommend. I think it would be kinda lame to take back the invitation at this point, but I also think it’s kinda lam to have someone as a bridesmaid that you don’t actually like. So in the end I think just do what you want. Since niether is a good option, just go for what works best for you.