What do I do in this situation?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

She’s opened the door to you by confiding some of these things.   I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t at least try to have a very candid conversation with her.   

Post # 4
Member
4918 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

What you described is abusive behavior.  Does she have family who can talk to her?

Post # 5
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

@anonbeehere:  All you can do is stand by and be a good friend. Don’t hold back your opinions though, if she asks – tell her! Let her know how you are worried, but you will support her in whatever she chooses.

That being said, my best friend/cousin has a weird relationship with her husband. Sometimes he will say things to her that would probably make me cry (or at least be irritated) and she laughs them off too. That is just the way they are… I know he loves her he just doesnt really have a sensitive/romantic side and everything is a joke. Took me a while to accept that, however your situation does sound a bit different.

Maybe try calling him out on it the next time you guys are in a group setting. Maybe just ask in front of everyone after one of his comments “do you really have to say things like that?” or “that is kind of harsh, dont you think?” along those lines and gage his reaction. If he gets really defensive I would say that is a bad sign. If he says he is just playing around then maybe he just has a twisted sense of humor. It also may make your friend open her eyes to the fact that everyone notices the little digs he takes to her in public.

Unfortunately, all we can give is advice and love. If she is convinced she is happy, there is not much you can do other than be there when she realizes the truth.

Post # 6
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Well, you said she depends on him to pay off her debt. Im confused as to why he wants to be with her if he calls her a mooch. Does she live with him? Him making fun of her in front of everyone as well as yelling possibly shovingher is not right.

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