Post # 1
My mother stole my extra DIY invitations and started inviting people to the rehearsal dinner. My FIL’s are paying! They are retired! Then, the guests started RSVPing and they received a forwarded message saying that “They’re not on the list.”
My mother invited 17 people. I realized this and had to send it to my fmil. Oh god oh god.
What do I do? I am so embarrassed. I don’t even know what to say to my fi.
Post # 3
I would tell your mother that she was responsible for paying for their part. If she can’t pay for all of it, then she pays for as much as she can and you and FI need to pay the rest. I can’t believe she did that! How RUDE and tacky!
Post # 4
What. WHAT?! What does your mother have to say for herself? I would insist she personally pay for the extra guests. Sorry to sound harsh, but seriously, you don’t just add to people’s guest list!
Post # 5
Not cool! I agree that your mother should pay for the extra guests. Hopefully your FI understand you were unaware of this. What and underhanded thing for your mother to do! Did you talk to her about it?
Post # 6
yikes… are these people invited to the wedding at least.
i would be on the phone immediately to talk to my mother – an extra 17 people is alot of people!
Post # 7
Holy cow. Mom better break out her checkbook! That is absolutely rude. Really, this sucks, but you shouldn’t put this burden on your inlaws. If Mom won’t pay and you can’t afford the extras, I think you have to call all 17 people and explain the situation.
Post # 8
Plus, how exactly did she steal them? Thats crazy.
Post # 9
I made my mother call the in laws myself to discuss it. I didn’t want to be in the middle.
There is more to the story: my grandmother had to have emergency surgery last week and we didn’t think she would pull through. My grandmother called my mother and sister to the hospital room to say goodbye. My grandmother and mother are best friends and hang out every day. My mother said that she couldn’t make it through the wedding without support. In a week moment, she started inviting people.
It’s also a semi-destination wedding. Santa Barbara is two hours away from where my parents, their family, and friends live. Many people will stay in a hotel for two nights.
My in-laws said that it was fine. They said the only thing that would upset them was if we weren’t getting married. They are so great.
My rehearsal dinner will have about 80 people at it. Wow.
Post # 10
OMG your RD is bigger than my wedding!! 🙂
i’m glad to hear your FIL are so understanding. hope it all works out. sounds like your mum is going through a really rough time.
Post # 11
Kudos to your FIL’s for being so benevolent about the add-ons. They deserve a kick ass thank you gift! Although, despite them being totally okay with 17 more people I would still someone try and donate whatever money you or your mother could to help with the costs. 80 people….holy guac…..
Post # 12
Is there anyone that she sent an invite to that you can uninvite? I know that if my mom did something this nuts, it wouldn’t be that hard to call people up and explain the confusion and write it off as when dealing with your grandmother, the lines of communication broke down and there were misunderstandings, etc. etc. etc.
I think that the guests might be very understanding.