Post # 1
My fiance and I have been living on our own for years now. With that said we have all the house hold items that we need. So what should I register for? Is it too tacky to ask for donations toward the honeymoon or even a down payment on a future house? Does anyone have any other suggestions?
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
FI and I were in the same boat, our registry never had a lot of items on it but we upgraded a lot of stuff from FI’s college years – toasters, iron, etc. Then because we’d just bought our house got a few decorative items.
If you don’t have anything to register for, don’t register and people will default to giving you cash! But that probably means you won’t have any showers.
Post # 4
Do you have an excellent vacuum cleaner?
Do you own a Kitchenaid Mixer?
Do you like your towels?
If the answer to the above questions is yes, do not register — you’ll get cash apparently.
If the answer to any of the above questions is no, register!
Post # 5
@dogmom32: We had friends in that situation. They turned their registry into what I would consider to be more of a birthday or christmas wish list. They had an ice scream maker, panini maker, board games, video games, a shared player keyboard for the computer, an actual piano keyboard (yes, a piano!) etc… as well as a link to donate to their favorite charities.
The funny part is when we set up our more traditional registry (everything we have was a hand me down from my parents, so we REALLY needed plates, cups etc…), the groom actually messaged my Dh and asked what he really wanted…. I felt like saying “I’m not sure you exactly understand what a wedding registry is….?”
But, if that is what they wanted and they didn’t need anything else, I think it definitely worked for them!
Post # 6
I not registering either. I bought my place a couple of years ago and got tons of new nice quality things. Fi also owned his home and bought it about five years ago I think, so most of his things are fairly new. I just chose not to register. I don’t want cash either. although I don’t think I will be able to stop people from giving it.
I am having a bridal shower, but I think those will be small gifts and again am encouraging people not to bring anything. Some people get offended by the honeymoon funds and house funds and they are still kind of controversial, but who knows your family may not be offended. I also dislike these just because I hate how much money the take from the couples gifts.
Post # 7
I have been on my own for 9 years (and owned a home for 4 of those), and FI has been on his own for several years as well. So we are trying to downsize, not add to our stuff! But – we are still registering. I know my friends will be having a shower for me, and the reality is that you are going to get gifts. If you register, you’re more likely to get stuff you like. If you don’t register, you’re probably going to get a bunch of photo frames and kitchen towels you won’t like.
I don’t mind honeymoon registries, but lots of people find them tacky, so I personally would not do that. I do think a registry for a down payment on a home is tacky.
I agree that if you do a small registry or no registry, most people will give you cash, but that really can be a regional thing. Some people will give a gift NO MATTER WHAT. I have one friend’s mom who likes to buy off registries. If there is no registry, she buys something on clearance and purposely does not include a gift receipt.
We registered for some things we’d like to upgrade or that we like but have never splurged to buy for ourself. Also, after being on our own this long, it’s a great chance to replace some things (ie towels). It is still a relatively small registry, but big enough that anyone should be able to find something at any price point… but small enough that people can see we don’t need much. We also did register for some non-traditional things, like camping stuff. But it is still within the spirit of building a life together.
If you are going to register, I do think you should be sure to put things at a variety of price points.
Here is a list of things we registered for, we did Bed Bath & Beyond and Amazon:
Bed Band fasteners that hold the sheets tight
Cake Server/Knife (don’t have one and can use it for the wedding and then in daily life too)
Some upgraded kitchen utensils (nicer tongs, baking dishes, etc)
More glass food storage dishes that match our existing ones
Nicer Coffee Maker
Coffee Maker Caddy that makes it easy to pull out from under the cabinet
Electric Knife Sharpener
New Toaster (both of ours are pretty cheap and get hot on the outside/spill crumbs)
Nice Digital Meat Thermometer
Heated Mattress Pad
Wireless audio system (don’t really understand it, FI wanted it for the house)
Nice Universal remote
Tent & Rainfly
New inflatable mattress
Outdoor zero-gravity recliner chair
Door welcome mat
Post # 8
We upgraded a lot of our items. Most of what we had was cheap or free stuff that we acquired in college.
Post # 9
We’re 35 & 38 and we’ve lived together for 9 years. Most of our friends who’ve gotten married recently are close to our age too. I think a lot has changed over the years with people living together before marriage and getting married a little older. Most of my friends have either had a very minimal registry, asked for Honeymoon funds or one couple even asked for donations to a cause they believed in.
I think what helps a lot is how you word it in your invitation. One of my friends did a really great job but I can’t totally remember what they said!! It was something explainng that they still live in a little apartment & don’t have room for more stuff. And that their guests presensce was the real gift but if they wanted to donate to the honeymoon fund, they were welcome. And they had a website for that.
Some other friends had a honeymoon donation website where you could select things like donating to a massage or a dinner or swimming with dolphins, etc. That might make it a little more fun for guests who want something more specific. But remember, we live in an age of gift cards and things that are much more impersonal than they used to be. Most of the younger crowd will have no problem with it & the older crowd may just go ahead & give you whatever they want!! I also think it’s pretty widely practiced these days to just give the couple money. It seems like the most popular gift at any wedding I go to!
Post # 10
We acquired almost everything when we initially moved in together but it was all very cheap items. We used the registry to upgrade almost everything – dinnerware, glasses, bedding, towels, silverware. You could always register for things you wanted to upgrade but leave it open to people just to give cash. We did have a registry but I would say 80% just gave cash anyway – only 5 or 6 items were really from the registry.
Post # 11
Looking at some of the other posts, I wonder if it depends on where you live. I live right outside of San Francisco & with as many weddings as I’ve been to, the honeymoon fund has never seemed offensive or tacky for any reason. Weddings are expensive and people get that. I’d much rather give people money toward enjoying the honeymoon than a bunch of frames & stuff they don’t want. But in the bay area, we just aren’t that traditional I guess!
Post # 12
We are in the same boat and were debating what to do. Luckily I descovered this awesome website which collects money from your guests as a contribution for your honeymoon, but in reality they send you the checks once everyone contributed. In this way your guests think they financed your honeymoon, but in reality you will take cash and use it according to your own needs. Check it out and read how it works, it might be what you need!
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
It is considered rude to directly ask for money and your guests re smart, so if you have a small registry, they’ll figure it out. Plus, most people realize almost everyone wants cash anyway.
I’d make a small registry of what you can use. For example, did you know you should replace pillows yearly? Bet you need new pillows? Do you have quality cookware? Do you have at least 8, but preferably 12, sets of coordinated dinnerware, whether everyday china or fine china? Do you have a lovely pair of candlesticks? Do you have any kitchen electric nearing its last days?
Post # 14
I’ve heard it’s quite rude to ask for cash – but, it’s acceptable to ask for gift cards. So maybe register for gift cards to places you KNOW you shop at. Or, if there are any big projects you are taking on within the next few years [deck, pool, fence, ect], ask for gift cards to the places that you’d need to purchase those materials from.
Also, I agree with pp, – a great time to replace items that have already been overused, or you could get a very good version of.
Or maybe decorations for your home.
Post # 15
We already had a house so we didn’t register for much and asked our families to spread the word that we would prefer cash. We did have a small registry for things if people wanted to buy something. No one thought that it was rude but we didn’t put the information on our invitations or anything.
Post # 16
How about camping supplies?