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Wow, that is beyond forward! I would say something like "really appreciate that you want to spend our special day with us. Unfortunately we do have limits on how many people we have invite so we won't be able to celebrate with you that day, but look forward to getting together soon!" Good luck!
Just tell her that due to space constraints you have to keep your numbers down. I can't believe your co-worker would do that. I'm shocked that some people can be so rude and thoughtless. That is incredibly awkward for you and immature on her part. I hope you figure this out, but my suggestion is to tell her no and possibly disinvite your co-worker (just kidding:) .....
Well, the thing is this girl (Jen) actually thinks she's invited! Now I have to find some way to tell her that she wasn't or that we don't have room and I can't think of a way to word either politely. Orange's suggestion is good, but it will sound like I'm uninviting her because she thinks she was invited! :(
That really sucks! This is one of my fears.
I hate to say this, but you really can't uninvite people once you've invited them. I would pull Shawnette aside and clarify with her the the entire office is NOT invited.
Then I would address the woman who emailed you directly. Something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for the confusion, but we are sadly not able to invite everyone from the entire office. Unfortunately Shawnette did not realize this. While we wish we could invite everyone we simply can't accommodate so many people. While we would love to celebrate with you, restrictions have forced us to make very difficult decisions. Again, I'm so sorry for this difficult situation."
If you don't put your foot down, you WILL be hosting your entire office at your wedding. If I were Jen in this scenario I would not hold it against you, but against Shawnette. The only one who can extend invitations to a wedding is a host, NOT a coworker. I hope everything works out as neatly as possible. Good luck!
You really think she thinks she's invited when she didn't get an invite or hear directly from you? If she does then maybe say, "Sorry for any misunderstanding, I know there was some confusion about invites....and then go into Unfortunately we do have limits on how many people we have invite... ??
How could she have sent you an RSVP is you never even gave her an invitation?! so bizarre. I would just be honest with her and say i'm not sure how the rumor got started but because of the budget and the space in the room, I'm not able to invite everyone who i'd like to. Lets get together afterwards though!
blahh, sorry you have to deal with this
Say that apparently, Shawnette misunderstood. NOT EVERYONE is invited to the wedding and due to budgetary reasons, you only invited a few people and those are the ones who received a wedding invite. And yes, that’s rude of Shawnette to just verbally tell everyone that everyone’s invited. My first instinct is to disinvite her but since you already gave your word and formally invited Shawnette, it’ll be rude of you to disinvite her just to “punish” her. Let’s just hope Shawnette doesn’t show up to your wedding dressed in white! =) Good luck, girl!
Yeah, I don't really understand why she would think I would invite everyone so informally, but her email makes it sound like she really thinks she was invited...
LOL I wont really disinvite shawnette, I'm hoping she will just not show up at all. All she's done is complain and talk crap about me behind my back to one of my good friends. UM, DUH my good friend is going to tell me everything you said about me you evil ex-coworker/friend!
bella i think what pompom said is DEAD ON....just tell her it was a misunderstanding and that you are really sorry and if you feel really bad you could even say that you would love to be able to have her there but because the wedding is so close you are unable to add anyone on because youve already given your final numbers to the caterer and venue (lie if you have to!)
I find it really strange that someone who didn't ever receive an invitation would email you to "RSVP".
I think pompom gave you excellent advice. It might be a bit of an awkward situation but you definitely need to nip this situation in the bud.
Go with PomPom! I like how it puts the blame back on Shawnette but not in a pointing fingers way. And you should def pull Shawnette aside so she doesn't continue. I think you should be able to get away with not having this girl come.
That's good advice too, say you already gave numbers to the caterer.
Excellent advice Pompom.
How crazy that this woman--without an invitation thinks she's invited. Who does that?!
I basically emailed her with exactly what pompom and orange said. I also told her that we are maxed out for dinner, but she is welcome to come for dancing and cake afterwards, b/c we're only being charged by the # of guests that show up for dinner. I feel really bad.
Am I the only person who thinks your coworkers seem either reaallllly young or perhaps just immature?
I feel badly that you have to deal with this, but your coworkers don't seem to have a clue how weddings work. Who goes around the office verbally inviting people to your wedding? It's not happy hour, it's not a BBQ, it's a WEDDING!
I do not know how it is not completely and totally obvious to any of these people that the only way you get invited to a wedding, is when you get an actual INVITATION in the mail. Didn't get an invitation? Guess, what? Then it means you're not invited!
PomPom's advice was right on. And I agree with Miss Root- who the heck sends an email RSVP'ing to a wedding when they didn't receive an invitation?!
Let us know what you get back! It's hard laying down the law.
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Up until December I worked at a bank and I made a few good friends while I was there. When it came time to send out invitations I only sent invitations to the girls that I was closest to at work. Well, yesterday I get this email from an old coworker (who WASN'T invited)
Hello Sweetie! I was talking with Lauren today and she said that you hadn't got my RSVP. I am sorry. I thought Shawnette told you. Yes my husband and I are coming to the wedding. Lauren was telling me you where stressing about you not having enough room. So let me say, if you have too many ppl just let me know. I would not at all be offended if you want us to back out of coming it. I know how it is to have to get everything planned like this. You just let me know. TTYl Jen
I like this girl, but we're not close friends and she was NOT invited! I called Lauren and she said that Shawnette had told this girl the whole office was invited! I think she did it as revenge because I told her she couldn't bring her best friend (who I don't even know).
Now I'm stuck in this awkward situation. Do I just tell the girl she can come or should I tell her she wasn't invited in the first place, but other girls were! I'm so annoyed and frustrated. What would you do? We really don't have room for her, and I'm thinking about uninviting Shawnette for being so rude and causing this.
HELP!