What do i say to this?? What would YOU say?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

While I agree that the manner of asking is not the best etiquette, I would allow her to bring a date if there was room in the venue and budget.  A lot of bees are of the school of thought that all bridesmaids and groomsmen should get invited with a date anyway.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I agree with sweet5k. Her way of asking (the fact that she asked of all) is obviously not polite, but are the other groosmen/bridesmaids getting plus ones? If they are then I would let her bring him. 

Post # 5
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Is it a mate or a boyfriend? I know in America plus ones for the bridal party seems to be a common thing but I have never known a single bridal party member to bring some random to a wedding here. The ones I know would never have even thought to ask or wanted to bring someone. It’s not like you can spend hardly any time with them during the day and even limited at the reception as the partners of bridal party members don’t genearlly sit at the head table here (if you are having a head table that is. The sweet heart thing doesn’t seem to have caught on here yet.)

I would not being having randoms at my wedding. Anyone in a relationship gets a plus one, no questions, but not genuinely single people.

Post # 7
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nic01:  If I understand you correctly, the problem is there’s no space at her place because of all the wedding guests? So I’d reply with something along the lines of, “You’d better check with your mother – wedding guests will be staying at your house so I don’t know if there’s room for him.”

I also agree with Lollybags that in Australia, BMs don’t get an automatic +1 just because they’re BMs. (But then, letting him come would save drama – I agree with you on that point).

Post # 9
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nic01:  Does the BM live here or overseas? My reading of your old post is the BM lives here. This isn’t an internet bf she’s never met, is it??

Post # 10
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

@Nic01:  I think it’s nice of you to let her bring someone. If he’s just a mate that fancies her, is she interested in him? Cause if not she’s sending a pretty big mixed signals.

Post # 13
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Well it sounds like your family may do the hard work for you and refuse to have him stay at their house hopefully? I know what my mother would tell me if I asked if some random  could stay with us while the house is already full of family over for a wedding.

 

I also think he is a bit odd to even want to go to a wedding where he knows no one but a bridesmaid who will be tied up the whole time. Perhaps he is the most extroverted person in the world though. If I were you I would not be caving and letting them come (I see my wedding as quite a personal thing and I don’t want people there that are ‘hangers on’ or that I have never laid eyes on) but you know best how much drama it would cause to refuse. I can definitely understand wanting to avoid the drama.

Post # 14
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

@Nic01:  Completely agree with you about it looking like a recipe for disaster… Who thinks that a family members wedding would be a great place for a first date/reconnection date, or whatever it is going on between them?! 

Post # 15
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

I always find the “but s/he won’t know anyone” argument so odd.  I have a really large and great group of friends who I adore.  Once upon a time, I didn’t know them.  How did I meet them? I went to parites or events where I knew one person, and met other people! Voila! New friends!

Post # 16
Member
2833 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This…is going to be a hot mess. For reasons.

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