- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I remember the looks on the bride and grooms faces when they get up there and look at eachother during the ceremony. that always makes me cry! lol i also remember the food IF it was good.
As a guest, I remember the beginning of the ceremony, the end of the ceremony, and the food. So, as an encore bride, I'm concentrating on the FOOD this time. The ceremony can't change much, as I'm getting married in a church, and most church weddings have a format.
I've been to lots of weddings starting from the age of about 2 (almost 33 now!)
I can't tell you exactly what I DO remember because it varies but I can tell you what I DON'T remember (across the board):
Flowers (don't get me wrong, I love them but I couldn't tell you what any particular wedding flowers looked like unless I really, really think about it)
Invitations (or any other paper products for that matter)
Cake (looks or taste)
Food (almost completely draw a blank)
Church/Ceremony decorations
Bridesmaid dresses (unless I was one)
Favors (100% couldn't remember if you paid me)
Sometimes I remember the brides' dresses (about 1/3 of the time)
Sometimes I remember ceremony details like readings or music (about 1/2 of the time)
Sometimes I remember toasts/speeches (about 1/4 of the time)
The most memorable things have been the way the bride and groom look at one another/how happy they look, the overall feeling of the day, the fun we all had (somehow I don't remember the non-fun ones...maybe there weren't any???)
For better or worse I think the memorable things to me have always been intangible and completely unplannable (not a word but you get what I mean I'm sure!)
The food. always remember whether it was good or not, if not specifically what it was. Whether the music was good for dancing to. The length of time hanging around between ceremony and reception!
To that end I'm keeping the photo sesh to under an hour, being really fussy about the food, and dreading booking a band to play!
The one thing I NEVER remember is the cake (taste or look). I always remember what the bride wore. I only remember certain things if they stand out like one wedding had gorgeous BM dresses, but in general I could not tell you what the BMs wore and another wedding had an awesome band.
I always remember the food, and I always remember if the music was good for dancing. Other than that, I remember the unique things that stand out... like if the cake was exceptionally good, if the speaches were exceptionally touching, if they had something cool like a candy bar.
People rarely remember the inivitations, programs, escort cards, favors, type of flowers.
As for things people remember, I hate to say this and I don't mean to knock anyone's religion... but if you have a long ceremony and people are bored, they will definitely remember that.
I think the thing people remember the most is the general feel of the day. Was it formal, casual, relaxed, upbeat... was there fun music/dancing or other activities?
I think people remember the food IF it was either really good or really bad, or if there wasn't enough (though they probably won't remember the exact meal).
Some women will remember the bride's dress.
As an aside, I went to a wedding a few years ago that I remember perfectly b/c it was so... incongruous (??). The bride and bridesmaids wore VERY formal dresses, there were tons of roses and other flowers everywhere, the invitations were very formal (with tissue paper etc), but the reception was very informal... with paper plates and plastic cups... minimal food, and no forks, spoons or knives at all.
The things that most stick our for me are food and music. Bad food will make people talk and a bad DJ can ruin your wedding. Also, I remember how we were taken care of. I hate to say this but I do remember if a wedding had an open bar and I'm not a big drinker.
The ceremony: whether or not it was personal, if it was too short or too long, if any innapropriate jokes were made by a priest, etc.
The food: only if it was really good or really bad, or if the food ran out (happened once at a family-style meal)
Music: I LOVE to dance
And most importantly: whether the bride and groom look happy
I remember the overall look of the ceremony and reception sites. Decoration, and especially lighting makes an impact for me.
I also remember the food, if the music was good or bad, and how much fun I had! I also remember the bride's dress and how beautiful she looked.
I don't remember little details, like seating cards, bouquets, favors. I don't think those things should be overlooked, they do make an impression on the wedding day, and they're forever in your pictures.
I think people remember if anything is awful,especially the food and music. They also will remember if anything funny happens that's unexpected.
I've been to plenty, and I can remember vividly, certain things from weddings that weren't so generic.
One bride that I'll never forget was dressed in a Juliet cap encrusted with red jewels and it actually tied under her chin. Her gown matched (with red jewels at the neckline) and it was truly a terrible look. I remember her bridesmaids as well as it was a winter wedding and she had them in red gowns wearing white fur hats...each one was worn differently too...tilted right or left or on the backs of their heads. UGH.
I remember my friend's wedding over 30 years ago and her BM's carried flower pomanders...first time I ever saw it.
I remember the most elegant wedding I ever attended...it was and is still the most fabulous to date! Food,venue,band....just wonderful. Part of it was also a Mass in an un~airconditioned church (in August) where a GM and guest fainted because of the heat.
Terrible music with no variety is also memorable.
The thing I remember most is the bride and grooms interaction. If there are a happy bride and groom excited for their day then all the other details take a huge back seat, that by far is what I take away the most from weddings.
The other thing is personality. Like plenty of people have a gorgeous wedding cake and I might look at it and say that's nice but it doesn't make a lasting mark on me. But I do remember details more if it's significant to that couple or representative of them, like one girl made her own wedding cake and just did a fantastic job and decorated it in the season they got engaged in, it was neat.
And I guess the last thing is relaxed. I remember if the guests felt like they were walking on pins and needles or just too much structure to have fun and I remember when it's relaxed and you can talk and dance and mingle and feel yourself.
I second remembering food and music! I know when I've had a really awesome meal at a wedding, and I can remember several weddings where the DJ made or broke a wedding. A good friend of mine had an awful DJ, and I can say that we left shortly after dinner.
I agree, I always remember how the bride & groom were during the ceremony. I went to one wedding last summer where they wouldn't look each other in the eye, it was SOOOOO weird!!!! It still freaks me out! At the end of their ceremony I quietly said to FI, "That's what not to do during ours!!!". In contrast to another one last summer, where the bride came down the aisle by herself (her father passed away years ago) but her FI met her halfway down the aisle, and when he met her in the middle, they had a high five! LOL! Apparently it wasn't planned either, but it was so perfectly suiting to them, it was adorable. The whole ceremony was very emotional, it was beautiful. I don't remember any of the readings, etc, just that they were really happy.
I remember GOOD food, although not specific dishes typically. I certainly remember if the food is bad. IE) At one wedding they were serving chicken skewers as a passed appetizer during the cocktail hour and FI got one that the chicken was raw. Not okay. I tend to remember late night buffet or desserts, but mostly because I can always go for an extra piece of cake ;)
Good music, definitely. Oh and make sure your sound system is set up properly!!! I hate being at weddings where they put half the guests BEHIND the speakers so they can't hear anything! Why would you do that?!
Never remember flowers (except if they were awful).
I always remember the venue and whether or not it was nice. For instance, I went to one that had beautiful grounds but the interior of the venue was made to look like a medieval castle, complete with moat and drawbridge to cross to get to the bar. It was pretty awful. BUT the food was great!!
I don't typically remember too much about the bride's dress unless it was really remarkable/unusual. I only remember the bridesmaids if they were wearing something horrendous.
I basically remember anything if it was very unique, incredibly good, or overwhelmingly bad. I never remember cake or flowers, though.
I remember whether the music was fun to dance to. And I always remember how happy/relaxed the bride and groom seem. I feel like they set the tone for the day, so if they're happy and excited and relaxed, the wedding is much more fun than if they're stressed out or seem anxious.
I NEVER remember the favors or flowers or centerpieces (except at one wedding where the centerpieces were so tall I couldn't see the people across the table).
Other than that, like PPs have said, I remember things that were unusual or odd (for good or bad).
I really only remember if things are bad or really awesome. For example, the food and music weren't so great at the last wedding I went to so that's really all I took away from it. The wedding before that, all I remember is dancing my butt off all night and having a great time.
The most important things to me are:
Ceremony - I love seeing the look in the couples eyes as they're getting married. I also like to hear everything, I've been to ceremonies where you can't hear a thing and I felt like I missed all the good stuff.
Food - it doesn't have to be gourmet but there should be more than enough of it.
Drinks - I know this can be an iffy topic but open bar is always a winner.
Music - After the ceremony, dancing is the reason I love weddings. I want to drink, dance and celebrate!
Things I never remember: favors, cake, flowers, centerpieces...not saying they shouldn't be there but I don't think a ton of effort needs to go into them.
hmm let's see...i remember the bride and grooms attitude (at the ceremony and the reception), the food, and the music.
i was at a family members wedding in 2008..and the bride and groom just didn't have that spark at all. during the ceremony it was AWKWARD that they hardly looked at each other. at the reception, they hardly danced or talked to each other and really didn't seem to be "happy" about the marriage. it was a really weird wedding and very uncomfortable. i also remember their chicken dish was disgusting and the only thing that i liked about the wedding was the band (even though there were only like 10 people dancing, we were 2 of them!).
in general i hear that most ppl don't remember any details.
most ppl remember, in vague memory, if there was booze, good food (not what it was, but if it was good tasting!), and if the dance party after was fun.
unfortunately, i believe it's true...
I know this sounds bad, but I usually remember anything BAD that happened, like if I was inconvenienced by the timing of things or if the groom gave an offensive speech (both of which have obviously happened at weddings I attended).
So we tried to cut back on those things for our wedding, the ceremony and reception were right next to each other with no time gap, cocktail hour was packed with food and booze, the band spaced in time for everyone to actually eat, there was dancing but nothing forced and the reception took place in a hotel that I got discount rates for all of our guests.
I always remember the food (for good or bad), music, how everyone interacted with each other (especially love to watch the Groom’s face as the Bride walks down the aisle, and watch them during their first dance, and to enjoy myself with family and friends). I remember the general feeling of the wedding – whether it was good, relaxed, awkward, happy, etc.
I remember the touches that really stand out – including a couple’s children in the ceremony, making them feel included, the cute antics of a little flower girl or ring bearer, etc.
On the other hand….
The odd things, or thing that “don’t work” also stand out in my mind :( I went to one wedding where the BM’s speech was about all the things he and the Groom did from elementary school to high school (like, “remember that time in 4th grade when we did X? Man that was awesome!”) The speech was long, and it wasn’t about life stories or meanings or well wishes, just retellings of things they did together in elementary school. It was weird. Another wedding, the couple didn’t order ANY food, except for the wedding party – it was also a dry wedding. One wedding the Groom and his guys tried to do a semi-orchestrated dance together. Just seemed so out of place and weird. It worked ok, but just seemed so forced as a “thing” that would be “cool”.
The last wedding I went to, I think I was like, going into middle school or something. And I remember, my mom made a really stupid, ridiculous speech about the bride's cat (we were it's caretaker for a while) and I was really embarrased at how she rambled on about the bride and her relationship with the cat.... and the bride cried out of nostalgia for the dead cat.
I guess people remember emotions?
I'll second so many other Bees, the thing that always sticks in my mind is the couple's feelings. Now, I've been to simple punch and cake weddings at conservative churches, I've been to an elaborate Jewish wedding, I've been to gay weddings, I've been to weddings that could be in a Marth Stewart magazine. The thing I can remember from every single one of these is how the couple looked, as in, how happy they were (or were not).
My next strongest memory is then always the dancing. If the music was bad, if the DJ was great (I have actually been to a wedding where the DJ was the most expensive part, flown from NYC to rural Ohio. They had a simple, lackluster buffet, bad cake, and basically no decorations, but that was the most fun wedding I've ever been to.). Having people actually dance is key. I would recommend that everyone beg their friends to be friends and shake their booties!
I usually eat the vegetarian selection, so it is usually boring. I can remember the food at the last three weddings I went to, but nothing farther back.
I've gone to three weddings since being engaged, so I remember lots of style details from those, but not from any before I got wedding on the brain. I don't think normal people remember the details, but I do think they can contribute to the overall ambience. So I'm trying to just blow off anything that is more cutesy than impactful. Customized drink stirrers? Darling, but gone. $20 worth of luminaries that will twinkle all night long on the lawn? In.
People remember if there is not enough food! We had plenty of food, but I polled all my co-workers and friends when I was planning. 95% of them said they remembered when there wasn't enough appetizers or cake or food, in general.
Things I remember from my most recent weddings: My cousin had an amazing cake. It was a white cake with a white icing and some sort of fruit filling and it was moist and deliciousness. Another cousin had really great food and I loved the Sinatra dinner music. I also thought their getaway vehicle, a vintage Rolls-Royce instead of a limo, was pretty cool. I do remember thinking her BM dresses were pretty blah, though. A friend's wedding I remember how they beamed at each other, and I remember everyone being teary when her dad walked her down the aisle. I remember she had a singer do "Sunrise, Sunset" as a prelude and I thought it was both awkward and poorly sung, but I get the sentiment. I remember the food being not great. Another friend had red dresses with teal sashes (the bride and groom's birthstone colors?) and while I like that sort of aqua/red color scheme, it was very jarring to me in that pairing. Also, there were no appetizers but they took pictures for 1.5 hrs between ceremony and dinner so everyone was getting cranky and bored in between. The favors were cookies in boxes at each place setting, and all the guests started eating them before the meal.
I remember wedding colors/schemes from all of them. I apparently remember food though not all of it or in details. Of course I remember if it was fun or not and the things that annoyed people or really seemed to be a nice touch.
@Amaryllis: At a friend's wedding, they played the "Sing to make the bride & groom kiss" game. Some girl got up and sang opera and it was awful. Actually I'm not sure awful is strong enough. I would have been embarrassed for her except that clearly she thought she was amazing. I never want to see that happen again.
The only speech from any wedding I've ever been to was when the bride's little brother's best friend (why he was giving a speech I have no idea) got up and read a little poem he wrote. A) The guy talks like William Shatner. I only wish I were kidding. B) He called MOB "Dragon Lady" in his poem. The entire room gasped. He had no idea this might be inappropriate. Thankfully MOB thought it was because she lives in a building called Dragon Square or something like this. I still can't believe it.
i guess i remember things a little differently than other people, but i only remember the food if it was really good. i also remember invitations, which doesn't appear to be the norm- but cake, not so much. the thing i notice the most though i think is whether the bride appears to be stressed or not- so just relax on the day of =)
I think people usually have one take away memory from each wedding - and typically they are extreme things (really good or really bad).. or something out of the ordinary that maybe unintentionally happened.
Here are memories of my own from past weddings:
-the cake at my friends wedding that was the best cake I'd ever had (EVERY layer was awesome - and I tried a bite from all 5 layers!)
-the really HOT August 100+ degree heat OUTDOOR ceremony with no shade
-the groom that wouldn't look at his bride coming down the aisle (he was seriously looking ANYWHERE but at her) - they are divorced now.... not that it's any indication - but come ON.
-the meal that took 4 hours (it went on and on and on.... boring!!)
-the 10+ minute best man speech (snooze)
-the rain and the fact the bride didn't care she had 2 inches of mud on her dress
-the couple that was totally giddy at the alter as they had a moment after communion
-the bride that we traveled out of state for, we paid 1K+ to do so - and she never thanked us for coming (at the actual wedding) - even though, I knew she was grateful.... the lack of interaction at the actual wedding made an impact.
-the wedding that is historically the MOST fun - don't remember ANY detail of the actual wedding except the bride freaking out pre-ceremony.... but the thing we all DO remember was it was the most FUN our group of friends had had (that wedding has not been topped in over 15 years)
-the wedding where we got sat in a different room than the bride and groom - talk about feeling like b-list.
-the wedding with the pretty cake completely covered with these huge white chocolate curls
-the wedding that had this HUGE chocolate fountain spread (that was about 10 years ago - never seen it before and the bride says people still comment on it)
-the wedding that had pink carnations (i hate carnations)
-the wedding where the FOG made a speech about the groom's childhood stained underwear - and watching the MOB's face (total horror)
-the wedding that had a sloped dance floor
-the wedding that had horrible parking at the reception (the reception site had 3 levels of parking and multiple events - and parking was a nightmare) - i was a BM and we had to walk up this huge hill IN the rain to get to the ceremony site.
-the wedding that had an open bar for 1 hour (or maybe it was drink tickets) - all I knew is my date shelled out major money for drinks (and he was a GM!)
-the wedding that had cramped seating at the reception and you could barely move
-the wedding where i got seated with the table of random people (most awkward evening)
-the wedding with all outdoor ceremony that had all this extra noise (airplanes, kids playing in the distance, etc - you couldn't hear!)
-the heart shaped cookie cutter favors from a wedding (that I actually use!)
-the brides poofy/princess dress
-the really good twice baked potato (seriously - that's the ONLY thing I remember from this one wedding)
-the brides bouquet of lily of the valley (only because she made such a fuss of making sure it was preserved at the end of the event)
-the centerpieces of deep red roses in a square vase - they were simple yet beautiful
-the really bad homemade invitations (crooked cut paper)
-the wedding I only got invited to the 'pre-reception' (there were 2 - i remember that aspect of both)
-the wedding where some friends and I pulled off the pre-reception (including running to the store to get cups during the ceremony - the bride was NOT organzied)
-the wedding I didn't enjoy because i played wedding coordinator (her's had a family emergency at the last minute)- I remember my feet hurting. I do remember more details from that one - but only because I was involved with executing them
-the wedding with seating place cards at each seat - I felt stuck all night!
-the wedding where they oversat my table (more people than seats) and I ended up at the empty kids table (on kids chairs!!) while the rest of my family was at the groom's family table
-the wedding with a dance floor in a separate room than the dinner tables
-the wedding that the photog displayed pictures they just took on a laptop (really cute!)
-the wedding with the bad friend DJ - that refused to play requests
-the wedding that had scrapbook pages on each table and guest had to make a scrapbook page while we waited for something or other (cute touch and kept us busy)
-the ceremony I was a 1/2 hour late for - but it still went on for another hour+
-the paper plates at the swanky beach club
...ok, that's all I remember...
Wow - this was very therapeutic :) Each of the above were different weddings - for 75%+ of those - that's the ONLY thing I remember. I remembered more details if I was part of the wedding party or helped with a specific task pre or post wedding.....
As for my own wedding - if people say "That was so much fun!"- I will be THRILLED.
I'm so glad to hear that food was remembered, since that's the part I'm really excited about and that will consume a good part of our budget. I love all these comments- thanks ladies and keep them coming!
Food/drinks, entertainment, the couple's hopsitality and attitude. People remember whether the refreshments (either full dinner or just desserts) were good or bad - they will remember the taste before they remember the looks at all, if they had to pay for their drinks or not, if the music (dj or ipod) was good or bad and if people danced at all if there was dancing available. Plus they remember whether the couple were in good spirits and gracious hosts or if they were sourpusses all night. The hospitality also includes whether there was a gap between the ceremony and reception. Any gap longer than the driving time to the reception is off-putting to many people. Also, whether they send thank you notes after the wedding is something guests remember. Everything else is entirely optional and no one will miss it if it is not there, contrary to what the magazines, blogs, online wedding communities all tell you. Folks will only remember the other details if something was spectacularly good and unique or spectacularly bad and unique. Very few if any will remember the clothing, decorations, what the cake looked like, invites, etc.
I remember the personal/unique parts of the wedding. Vows are super super important to me. The flow of the evening and how organized things were. I don't care much for favors but love a good dj/band.
I also remember if the couple didn't even bother to acknowledge my presence. I hate that. Say thank you to your guests, even if its general and during a toast. Say something.
i don't remember much!
i usually remember the food, so i'm not surprised by the fact that everyone seems to be remembering our cake.
At my uncles wedding when I was in middle school, they hired this operatic baritone to sing ave Maria during the ceremony. My brothher was about 8 years old and he started silently laughing. Then my GRANDMA started laughing and so did her sister! They were all quiet but by the end of the song so many people were laughing silently, my aunt was crying she was laughing so hard.
I'll never forget that.
I also remember group activities, like big fun group dances.
The most memorable thing at any wedding i've been to was the AWFUL food at our neighbors wedding. I also remember the banquet hall being really shoddy and a random drunk guy from the extrememly loud party across the hall busting in in the middle of the ceremony. I felt to bad for her, but her wedding was a wreck. Oh man. I remember that one because of how bad it was.
The other things I remember:
- the boring reception at a Baptist wedding because the church wouldn't allow music or dancing.
- the extrememly touching slideshow during the ceremony of that same wedding. I cried. It was so sweet.
- They also had live goldfish in their centerpieces.
-I remember my cousin's wife's 90s snow-monster dress.
-I remember my uncle keeping his guests waiting for an hour and a half because they were ridiculously late for the reception and we couldn't eat without them.
Seriously, that's it. I dont remember the flowers or decor at all, I dont remember what the dresses looked like (except at said 90s wedding, because I was a Jr. BM). I only remember the food at the one because it was awful. Liek so many of the other bees, I remember impressions of the general feeling of the day. I remember if I had fun or not.
I remember the food (if it was good or bad, if there was enough, if there was something to snack on between the ceremony and reception), the alcohol (how many bottles of wine on each table, free vodka punch, unlimited wine during dinner, open bar), and the people who's table I was seated with (I was once seated with some cousins that I did NOT get along with and it made for a long, uncomfortable night).
i never remember the food since 90% of the time i cant eat it. However i do remember the cake - how it tastes, and whether or not i got any (or can eat it - PLEASE folks stop using amaretto in your cakes! or almond! not everyone can eat nuts - more than you think!)
i remember how many kids there are - since i am not a kid person. usually i remember the bad behavior.
i remember the music, and if i wanted to get up and dance. i still remember my friends wedding where i barely sat down the entire time. best. wedding. band. EVER.
i remember when the couple dont particularly seem in love.
i remember hideous bridal gowns or bridesmaids dresses.
i remember drunken toasts or funny toasts.
i remember cash bars. especially the ones i dont know about before hand and have no cash. boo.
and i remember ones i have to travel for a while.
but like others have said i usually only remember insanely bad or exceptionally good things. nothing run of the mill is usually gonna spark memories for me.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 77 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| akp0702 | 42 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 41 |
| MrsPom | 37 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Sassafraskate | 4 |
| BetterSherm | 3 |
| nerdysarah | 3 |
| everalwaysrealtrue | 2 |
| akp0702 | 2 |
| fishbone | 2 |
| chicky99 | 2 |
| julies1949 | 1 |
| hisbahamamama | 1 |
| KateByDesign | 1 |
I've heard so many statements like "People never remember X part of a wedding." I've only been to a few and since I was 12 years old or less, nothing stuck with me except that I was bored and my bride-cousin looked nice in her dress. So, for those wedding veterans who have been to a lot, what do you remember most? What would you want people to remember about your wedding?