(Closed) What do to when you you DON’T get response cards back

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
23641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

march your butt over to their houses and show them who’s boss! ๐Ÿ˜›

 

Haha, just kidding. ๐Ÿ™‚  Do you have email addresses for these people?  Email reminders to RSVP sometimes help.

Post # 4
Member
46128 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You really only have 2 choices- email or phone calls.

You can do the email by blind copying everyone so on one knows who else didnt respond. keep it light- just tell then that you know that it is easy to let these dates get away from you, but your caterer needs a final number. Let them know that if you dont hear from them by _____ ( you decide) you will have to assume that they are unbale to make it.

If you do phone calls, divide up the list between you and your FI- its his wedding too.

Post # 5
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d say just talk to them. I bet they forgot about it and will appreciate that you give them a reminder instead of just counting them out. I like the email idea. Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We were in the same situation, had sooo many people that didn’t RSVP in time. We started off with emailing and those that didn’t respond to that we called. It sucks but has to be done!

Post # 7
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I emailed (if I had their address,) then if I still didn’t hear from them after a few days, I called and left a polite phone message something like, “Just to let you know, we didn’t receive your reply card yet, and while I really hope that you’re able to make it, since I didn’t get any response after I emailed you last week, unless I hear back by tomorrow from you, I’m going to have to assume that you’re not going to be able to make it, since we have to give the final numbers to the catereer.”

Post # 8
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We had a few – all family!  So we called them up.  It was a bit annoying as most of them assumed we knew they would be coming but didn’t think to mention it to us!

My mother and MIL offered to help chase them up but we didn’t have that many so we just did it.

 

Post # 9
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m seriously getting to the point where I just don’t care, I will not hunt anyone down.  If they don’t want to take the time to RSVP for the event of the season with free food and booze, its no skin off my back.  Then I’m going to hire a bodyguard with a checklist to make sure anyone who DIDNT RSVP isn’t allowed in.

This includes my own parents, who are dragging their feet on putting their stupid envelope in their stupid mailbox.  

Due date’s today. Can’t wait.

 

But seriously I’m just going to do a very basic email, have FI find out if his side of the family is coming, and that’s that.

Post # 10
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I called people and that seemed to get replies from the last straglers.

Post # 11
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

my bridal party contacted people for me.  that way those who were not planning on attending did not feel bad for saying no.

Post # 12
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

I love that people assume we know they’re coming…but that doesn’t help when it comes to meal choices!

I know I’ll have to email or call a few…it’s part of the deal. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Many people assume the RSVP date is the “postmark” date. That, and it’s the end lf tax season so the mail is probably delayed a bit. You may get quite a few back this week or early next week.

Post # 14
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

@KristenGotMarried:  Ditto!!!  I am not going to babysit people or micromanage them to come.  I’m not sure why you would want to have someone at the most important day of your life who does not care to take the time to let you know they are coming.  

Post # 15
Member
10 posts
Newbee

We got a pretty decent flow of RSVPs but there were still a big chunk of guests that hadn’t replied as the “deadline” neared. I was in the same boat as some of you, thinking if they couldn’t commit enough to drop this pre-addressed stamped envelope in the mail – how likely are they to really come if I’m paying for them and working a seating chart around them.

But after hearing a couple of friends and family members perspectives on the situation I was able to begrudgingly admit that although I could not relate, I could understand. So we went through the list of people we hadn’t heard from…

There were a few people who we decided that we wouldn’t bother to call or email, and that if they didn’t RSVP they were probably not coming and we were find with that.The rest of the list we divided up…Some to my parents, some to his, some to him, some to me.

A week before the RSVP deadline we just sent a really short friendly message to remind people that the date was getting closer, that no’s are just as important as yes’s etc…A lot of people responded with “oh! thanks for the reminder I’ll send it today” and we got an influx of responses.

Then when a good week had passed since the deadline, giving stragglers appropriate time, we hit our lists to try to get final answers. We ended up with very few people who we just didn’t hear anything from! And with all of the leg work divided amongst 4 people, it really didn’t take all that much effort after all. 

 

Post # 16
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If they’re due back this weekend, give it another week.  A lot of people send them the day they’re due, so they will trickle in next week.  Once you have waited until a week after the due date, call/email the non-responders.

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