Weddingbee boards

@daydreamwanderer: I would say in addition to all those things understanding.

The ability to understand what makes us who we are. And to accept those parts of us that are not always perfect.

@daydreamwanderer: I agree with your foundations, for me that is what makes the relationship a bond between me and my bf, happiness, passion, security and respect.

I have two more:

To try and understand and respect each other's values in life/beliefs and to each other's cultural differences. (Him being all Norwegian, me being raised in a Sweden my roots are Brittish, Pilipina leads to some misunderstandings from time to time, we sort it out)

Support each other's goals career wise and personally (hobbies so forth) (My long life dream is joining Doctors without borders as a midwife/nurse. I do read medical books sometimes and BF supports me) (His dream is opening an IT business specialized in consultancy and enterprise solutions)

Me and my BF have some different hobbies, I really think it's important to not let those go. We share some and some of them we do on our own (He= PC Games and military/war history , Me=Handicrafts, Human rights, Computer hardware and Art)

Re-edit: I would say that if one of these things would be missing, I wouldn't even stay. I feel like all these things are dependent on eachother. And of course, things can be worked on, but maybe only to a certain point, i guess....

unconditional love period. & forgivness.

To be able to laugh at each other and have an awesome sense of humor is huge with me.  If you can't be my best friend, or I can't be myself around you, that spells out a problem.  

Also, attraction (while it's not at the top of the list) needs to be a factor as well.  

I really need someone who gets my strange sense of humor. I remember I was dating a guy and we were out to dinner. I jokingly smeared some whipped cream on his cheek and he FLIPPED out on me for embarrassing him. I knew it wouldn't work right then. I like to be goofy. My SO, on the other hand, is the kind of person who doesn't care what people think and doesn't take himself too seriously.

Also... he has to want kids and MUST be willing to be a part of my family. I'm very tight with my parents and someone who wouldn't be a part of that just wouldn't work. 

I guess... it's just got to be someone who jives with your values :) 

Our personalities have to mesh i.e. we have to "get" eachother. I learned the hardway that love isn't enough.

I didn't know what I really deserved until I got with FI. Before him, I was caught in an affair with a married man, and before that disaster, I was with my highschool sweetheart for 7 years but it should have ended a lot earlier.

The horrible thing about the 7 year relationship was that we had chemistry - we were easily attracted to eachother physically and mentally, but our personalities just weren't matched. We were both sensitive and hot-headed, but my family and I are quiet, reserved, practical, and down to earth while he and his family are outgoing, loud, idealistic and impulsive. We had a LOT of fights over my being too introverted, over his never being on time, his lack of responsibility, my critical thinking, and so forth. But we stayed because despite all of that, we loved each other.

When I ended it and got with FI, I was amazed at how different things were. We communicate better, we're more understanding of each other's needs, we function similarly, we don't fight as much or with the intensity my ex and I did, our families like us equally...it's a breath of fresh air.

I remember thinking to myself "So THIS is what it's supposed to be like!"

Someone who is devoted to you, someone who completely understands you, and someone who is truly kind to you.

Interesting topic.

Great original post and follow up replies.  YES the Qualities that are listed are all important, but so is the ones that cannot be defined, but must be felt.  What makes up the difference between LOVE and TRUE LOVE.  The latter is when there is the same commitment that you'd have with someone like your Mom, Dad, Brother, Sis, etc.  When your partner has crossed over to the category of "family" ... much in the same way your Children (future children) are connected to you, and you'd do anything for them and their well-being.

In my first marriage, I asked my then Hubby "What would it be like if one day I got hit by a bus, would he miss me?"  He said, "ya probably"

If he was hit by a bus, I would have been devasted, my whole world would have come to an end in so many ways.

His answer, made me very sad... and that about sums up my first marriage.  I loved him a lot (too much?) and he not enough to me in return.  I really should have had sooooo much more from him... in retrospect 25 years was a long time to be cheated out of what I truly deserved.

This Time Round... 

If I asked my SO the same Question, he'd no doubt smirk and say, "Obviously not, I was the one driving the bus"

Then he would say, "Of course I would ya fool !!  Life would be horrible living without you"

He would of course have used the sick humour to disarm my Question... and I gotta love him for that aspect of his personality.

But he is also brutally honest when it comes to RAW emotion.  This man is not afraid to cry or tell me how he feels.

He makes me laugh every single day partly because of his wacky humour.  It is hard to fault a guy who brings these GENUINE qualities to a relationship.

He also adores me more than I truly deserve (my first hubby was an abusive person... and he did a good job of taking away every bit of my self esteem)... my SO treats me like a Princess... and my gosh, I can't explain how good that is, when you've never had that before EVER in 40+ years of your life.

I KNOW for a fact that this is a man that would go into a burning building to save me... the guy who would give me a kidney if I needed it (and I would do the same for him).  This is what LOVE is supposed to be... and I am soooo grateful I found it !!