Post # 1
FI’s best friend and his long time boyfriend got married on New Years Eve. They had only their parents attend the ceremony which was held at their house.
What is proper etiquette? Do we get them a gift? I know to definitely send a card. Do we send them money (which is what we would do if we actually attended a wedding)? Help! FI’s friend is very sensitive so I want to acknowledge how happy we are for them!
They have been together for 9+ years and own a home together…
Post # 3
@weatherbug: My choice of wedding gift is never based on whether I was invited to the wedding or not.It is based on my reationship with the couple.
I would send a card and the same amount I would have given in other circumstances/
Post # 4
I would send a card with a gift certificate to one of their favorite restaurants. Chances are they don’t need anything for their home, so I think a gift certificate is a nice way to show how happy you are for them and that you want them to enjoy married life. In the card, I would also offer to take them out for celebratory drinks.
Post # 5
@julies1949: I agree it should be by our relationship with them, not that we weren’t invited, which we really have no hard feelings about. They got engaged about two weeks ago, then decided to do it on new years with only their parents there. He is one of FI’s best friends (FI was the only one who stuck with him when he came out as gay) and they are very close.
Post # 6
@TGold: We are seeing them this weekend for FI’s birthday so we will have to celebrate then! A gift certificate is a good idea!
Post # 7
A card and gift certificate to either a home store (like Pottery Barn) or a fancy restaurant. CONGRATS TO THEM!!!
Post # 8
@weatherbug: Yes, if they are that close to you guys, I would get them what I normally would if I was invited.
Money, gift card to somewhere they can both enjoy. Ooooh (depending on your amount you choose to give) a gift certificate to a hotel chain is always gladly accepted in my experience.
Post # 9
@peachacid: I am so happy for them! 🙂 They are so much fun (aren’t all gay men, lol) and I am so happy it is legal to get married in their state.
I just don’t want them to feel like their wedding is less important because they didnt have a big affair like we are – so I want to make sure to really acknowledge it!
Post # 10
@leisha606: I have never heard of a gift certificate to a hotel chain. That’s an interesting idea!
Post # 11
DH and I gift $1,000 to all our close friends no matter what the circumstances, although we haven’t had anynfriends forgo a traditional wedding.
For friends who are not as close, we gift $500 or buy something from their registry unless everything is too cheap.
Post # 12
If they’ve been together for so long, and have a home together, I would assume that they dont need much as far as material goods go. I’d probably get them a gift card for a nice restaurant, or a voucher for some sort of activity that they like. Groupon is a good place to look for stuff like that.
Post # 13
@weatherbug: Yeah, it is great! That way, they can put it towards a vacation anywhere they choose! And of course, can use it for spa credit etc.
Post # 14
@Jessica_Rabbit: Damn! I’m going to invite you to my wedding. $1,000??? Good for you girl 🙂
OP, I agree with the card and a gift card to a restaurant 🙂 I ccertainly wouldn’t gift the same as I would if I attended a wedding, just because, in my mind, the gift is partly an attempt to offset what they spent for me to attend the wedding.
Post # 15
I definitely like the gift card idea!
Post # 16
I feel like a gift card for a restaurant would be more of a christmas/birthday gift. A marriage is different, I’d get them a gift card to bed bath and beyond or crate&barrel, you always need/want something for your home whether it be kitchen items or decorating your home.