Post # 1
Almost all of our guests are coming from out of town. They’re arriving either Friday night or Saturday morning for our Sunday wedding. Most are leaving Monday afternoon. We want to see everyone as much as possible so I plan to make group reservations for Friday dinner, Saturday lunch, and Monday breakfast (Saturday dinner is after the rehearsal so will be just the bridal party). My plan was to have “no host” meals and just tell everyone we want to see them and we hope they can join us at the restaurant. Meals will be relatively inexpensive and casual (e.g. pizza for lunch). My mom is concerned that our guests will think she’s cheap if she doesn’t pay for all three meals, since we’re inviting people. I don’t think anyone will mind paying their own way. Input?
Post # 3
I don’t think people will expect you to pay for en entire wedding, PLUS 3 additional meals for everyone. That’s going to be insanely expensive. I would almost feel uncomfortable about that as your guest – too much money!
Post # 4
i don’t think it is cheap, but i would definitely make it known to the guests ahead of time that it is no host. if not explicity stated, this could be confusing to guests.
Post # 5
I don’t think its cheap, but be careful how you phrase the invite. Try to make it more like, “We are going here at this time, you can join if you want. Let me know and I’d be happy to take care of reservations.” So it sounds more like you will make the reservations but your not paying.
Post # 6
I agree with the other posters – its definitely not cheap and I don’t think your guests will expect it – – choose your wording carefully
Similar to you, about 95% of our guests are from out of town. The majority of them are arriving Friday – Monday for our Sunday wedding as well. My FIL’s are hosting an Out Of Town Welcome Reception Saturday night. Its passed apps and deserts with an open bar. Thats it…
Post # 7
I agree with PP. It’s not cheap at all, but make sure that your intentions are very clear.
Post # 8
I don’t think that it is required to feed your guests outside of whatever food you are providing at your reception. Having said that, a lot of people feel obligated to feed out of town guests at either the rehearsal dinner or a morning-after brunch to show their appreciation for them coming out of town. We didn’t do this, but a lot of people like to and its very nice. In your case, if it is in your budget, I would have either the Saturday pizza lunch or the Monday morning breakfast be a hosted event, and make that clear by including something on the invite or schedule, however you are giving the information, that says something like, “Mr. & Mrs. Your Parents would love to have you at a welcome lunch/post-wedding brunch…” Then I would make the other two meals word-of-mouth, and make sure everyone knows that it is not a hosted event, just an extra opportunity for everyone to get together.
Post # 9
It’s certainly not cheap… but hosting one of the events might be a kind gesture and at least letting guests know which events aren’t hosted would be appropriate. You can always do something casual, if you choose. 90% of our guests are OOT and we are having a casual, inexpensive wedding – to begin with – but wanted to welcome guests to extra visiting time, without adding a ton of expense to it. What we decided to do was host a campfire night, the night before the wedding, at my parents’ home with typical s’mores and beverages… games and what-not.. to make a communal space to gather, without putting my folks’ out with the cost. We will also be inviting guests to stop by our cabin, the afternoon after our wedding, to go for a swim, play horse shoes, and such… we will have beverages and maybe hot dogs and burgers – but it’s very low key – just, again, creating space for OOTers to gather and enjoy each other’s company in one place.
Post # 10
I don’t think you/your family should pay for all the meals. If its an open ended invitation, just saying we’d love for you to join us, then they should assume it’ll be on their dime. I’d assume as much. I think it’ll be a great way to catch up with people in an informal way, without anyone breaking the bank.
Post # 11
We are renting a room at the hotel that our guests are staying at (just a little party room) and providing things like hoagies, chips, and pop for people to eat if the get in late Friday and don’t want to go out. Plus, it will give them a place to hang out and socialize together outside of their hotel rooms. I guess it depends on your budget, but I’ve enjoyed weddings that have done something like this and so we planned early on to incorporate it into ours. It won’t be a crazy fancy dinner to keep costs down and we aren’t hosting anything Sunday. It certainly isn’t required though, and I think making reservations somewhere and indicating clearly that they would be paying is fine. I would just make it an affordable place so people don’t feel obligated to spend too much to spend time with you guys.
Post # 12
If I were you I would casually invite them. “Hey we are going to have brunh on Sunday at xyz if you want to come, id love to see you before you left” as long as you dont make it sound like your parents are hosting an event.
Post # 13
I have never expected either the bride or groom’s family to pay for any meals other than the wedding reception if I was not in the bridal party.
I concur that you can tell them where you have decided to eat but nmake it clear that it is not a hosted event.
” A group of us have decided to eat lunch at____________________.Here is contact information for the restaurant if you decide to join us.”
111 Main St
555-666-5555 or abc @food.com for reservations