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Communication styles!!!! We are on the same page about almost everything....but the problem is that he likes to plan/organize/deal with everything in his head before hand...and then tell me everything once it is 100% planned or dealt with. I like to express myself in the moment and plan collectively.
We argue most about money. I've even vented in a post or two. He's just not the best saver... or budgeter... or on time bill payer. He is improving but I think its just because he doesn't want the HULK to come out anymore. The argument usually turns into the communication fight too. Luckily, we probably only fight about once a month, but still, come on! Lol
Money - he is VERY tight with it (he's been screwed over by family members, roommates, ex's, etc.) and I'm NOT - I make bonus money in my job, and as long as I have $ in my bank account, heck yeah I'm gonna spend it! Merging our finances has been one of the most trying (yet rewarding) things we've done. That said, we still squabble about, "Do we REALLY need this $100 padded bench for our living room?" and "Why did you go over the grocery budget?" Lol.
We argue about communication and chores. Communication because he insists that I email him plans, or he won't remember them. I think that's absurd and he should just listen to me when I talk! And chores, because I'm a little on the lazy side, and he's a little OCD! Lol, but we always make up before bed!
I wasn't really sure what to vote for. FI and I usually only have a few big fights throughout the year. We've fought a lot about sex, but we've been really good about that lately. We've never seriously fought about money, thankfully. Actually, we often fight about his driving. I can't STAND how he drives sometimes. We usually just have little tiffs about stupid stuff.
Our last big fight was a few weeks ago when I caught him dipping (chewing tobacco). He actually tried to hide it from me even though I was right in front of him. Anyway, we talked about why I was so upset and moved on.
He's very non-confrontational which works out for us because he sees when I'm just in a bad mood and knows it will pass. He doesn't ever push my buttons or egg on a fight. I really got lucky with this one :)
we very rarely argue. the arguments i can remember are.... when he wanted to go to a strip club for his bachelor party. right when i said i wasn't comfortable with it he said he wouldn't go (and they didn't) but i was still uncomfortable with the fact that he WANTED to go and have another girls hooha on him. and when we moved in together, that was one big arguement. i had gotten a job that same week, and was very stressed out by it, we weren't communicating, it was just bad news. but that's over now, we're oddly both very laid back people. which is awesome because my last relationship was nothing but fighting.
I voted other. We mainly argue about him doing things that purposely annoy me to no end. He's really laid back so not much gets to him. But I swear he does things on purpose just to get me going. Like last night he kept making this little high pitched noise that was getting one of our dogs really hyped up and and she was jumping all over the couch to get at him (which she isn't supposed to be on). After a while it really started to annoy me, the noise he was making plus our big dog jumping all over the couch. I kept asking him to please stop and soon he was just hysterically laughing and in between the laughs he'd make the noise. He just kept going and going and going. Soon he tried to form words with this high pitched sound and it just drove me up the wall. He pretty much does these things to me every day. :P
We most fight about social issues. Like... I want him to come with me to a party and he doesn't want to go. He wants me to go with him to a football event and I don't want to go, etc. We are awesome 1 on 1 but we don't really like each others' friends and it can cause issues. :/
I said "other". we rarely argue, but when we do it's usually a matter of communication styles. We're both very blunt and honest, but that can also lead to hurt feelings...
I chose Domestic Issues because he's never helping me clean the bathroom or bedroom. We sometimes have issues with money but we havent really argued in weeks. :D
We argue about time mostly. He works a lot and sometimes I get frustrated and want to have a nice random evening with him every now and then. Our nights out always have to be planned and that frustrates me because I am a spur of the moment person!
We don't argue...in fact, rarely. If we get into it, it's cuz someone's being sensitive or in a bad mood and it's over in like, 5 minutes....pretty minor
This is kind of ridiculous, but I think we argue the most about skiing. Seriously. He LOVES to ski. Like, crazy, off-slope skiing in the Alps. He even made me promise early on in our relationship that all winter vacations would be there and never on some tropical island to take a break from the winter. And he really wants me to ski with him. I don't ski. It freaks me out. I don't like to go fast and I feel like the bunny slopes are steep! So, every winter (and really during the other seasons it will still come up) we have this discussion where he offers to teach me, his mom offers to teach me, his sister offers to teach me, etc. Lots of pressure. I've finally given in a little bit and have started taking a few hours of lessons while we're in the mountains, but ugh, it's such a big point of contention for us!
Right now as we work on joining finances and planning our retirement we argue about money most. He has a CVWL insurance policy I HATE but got before we knew each other. Now I'm saddled with it too. Boo! He's friends with his advisor which I think is a bad idea (mixing friends and funds=bad idea) so we're shopping around for a new one. He doesn't like that I form these strong opinions when I'm not as "informed" as he is (double majored in business and finance with a nimor in accounting - I was a music major). Thankfully, we're able to discuss things pretty rationally and calming...except when I tell him he's WRONG!!!!!!! =)
I choose personality/belief differences because we were raised very differently and sometimes that causes tension about how we "see" the world. As in, I believe priorities should be in a certain order, and he believes in a different priority order. etc., etc. Or, how we should celebrate a holiday, or even how we deal with strangers (other drivers on the road, waiters, etc.) So, it's taken some time and a lot of communication to realize that opposites do attract and that we're ok with our differences! ;)
we fight about his friends. they dont like me so he will never let me around them, it's pretty stupid really.
We rarely have blow out arguments. But we bicker about house stuff and scheduling. It's hard to plan anything since my DH is a surgery resident and it's hard for him to pitch in b/c he works 90+ hrs a wk. Though last night I came home to an emptied diswasher, clean pots and pans, and dinner on the grill : )
Eating habits.
He eats very scheduled meals and won't eat snacks hardly ever! I like to eat smaller meals throughout the daya nd I enjoy my snacks. Its really annoying to have the same arguement with him over and over!
We argue about stupid things, like water on the bathroom floor! But we really don't argue about much that is of importance. I guess thats good...?!
We don't have huge blow-up arguments very often (our last one was before the wedding during the planning), but we have little "spats" about housework sometimes. We each have things we're responsible for, and he will sometimes let his stuff slide until I ask him to do it. Sometimes I get frustrated and am snappy when I finally ask him to do it. Not productive, but I'm human. It's usually something like "When you're finished doing nothing, would you mind doing XYZ?"
Political arguments are the only ones that ever get heated! Sometimes I just think, UGHWHY am I marrying a conservative?!? Hahahah ;)
Family. We both think our respective families are always right and it can cause conflict since we are both so close with our families as well. That and wedding stuff...which can also be connected to our families. HA
Sage: Yeah, we rarely have heated arguements but when we do cross that invisible line into politcal stuff, it can get pretty heavy! I am the opposite of you though, because I am the conservative and he is the flowers and clouds and fluffy bunnies lib ^__~
(that was just a little light hearted ribbing, btw... not meant to offend!)
Rarely argue...
We're also insanely laid back and complimentary in areas like finance, chores, communication styles. We are aware of our differences there so we have always nipped issues before they fester. I'm also not big on conflict so I'll bring stuff up if I think it needs addressing.
Location. I'm not from here, FI was mainly raised here but actually lived the first 7 years of life 30 min. from me in my hometown.
When we started dating I thought he realized i didn't mean to spend my WHOLE life in this town. I also thought that since he already lived in my hometown he wouldn't mind going back.
He thought I moved here so I like it here and I must want to stay here.
I don't want to raise my kids here one day. Now we're looking at buying a house and I live in fear of being stuck here. He lives in fear of moving to my "way too hot and humid" hometown. This has caused many relationship pondering moments for us.
I've been to 15 countries and 25 states. I'm constantly on the go and love to explore and am fearless. He's pretty much been to Toronto and a handful of states for sports tourneys. He went to school locally and has never really left "mom and dad." FMIL is very frail and FFIL is a heavy smoker. Economy here is horrible and cost of housing is ridiculous. We can buy a 3,000 sq. ft brick home in my hometown for the price of a starter 1200 sq ft townhome in the ghetto here. I mean... I would much rather move back :-) I would think he would too... but the un-known is crippling to my monk-like FI. At least I know this now :-)
We hardly ever have big fights, but when we bicker/argue, it's always about dishes and/or laundry. I can't stand dishes on the counter, but I refuse to do the dishes all the time. It's his house too, and I'm not a housewife! Those are pretty insignificant things to argue about though. :)
We rarely, rarely argue. We don't really have anything to argue about, since we're on the same page with most things and I hate discussing politics (we differ there). I think I get FRUSTRATED with him the most when he randomly asks me if I'm mad at him. I could be having the worst day in the world, not even seen him, and he's still worried that I'm mad at him! Like there's not 6 billion other people in the world that could make me mad! He's scared of making me unhappy, which is cute, but... man alive, it's annoying when he thinks I'm always mad at him.
We don't really argue. We bicker now and again and it's usually about communiation styles. The Boy can sometimes say things in a way that doesn't mesh will with my sensitive nature and then that may ruffle my feathers a bit, but that's pretty much it.
we don't argue much but CHORES out of any of those options! I don't mind most, but I HATEHATEHATE cleaning the floor - sweeping, mopping...I don't know what it is, but it drives me beserk. Today, he asked if I could sweep and I gave him a dirty look (but still did it, since he asked nicely) haha.
Well, we haven't really argued, but I won't toss around words like "always" and "never." Who knows what random minutiae will pop up to bother us! :P I'll have to update once we encounter something, haha.
We don't really argue, but I voted for sex. Our drives are polar opposites. But, I also get persnickety at his eating habits (and how it makes it difficult to make dinner at home, which leads to us wasting money) and so on.
I would say communication (like @bamm) especially related to planning. We are pretty in synch on our beliefs, etc, though we do sometimes argue about sex & chores...I think it's normal, since I haven't had sex or lived w/ anyone previously.
I wouldnt say we argue - we bicker for like less than 5 mins occasionally and its pretty much about him not helping me clean or I will just let the house get really messy to see IF he will clean and then once its gotten really bad Ill be like COME ON and then well get into the same fight we always get into and then it will end after a few minutes. Its so stupid now that Im typing it out!!
We really don't argue too much- recently we've have some bickering but it was mainly one sided from me- I've been super stressed with school and he'd try to plan something with our friends or surprise me with dinner and I felt like i was looking like the bad guy having to cancel some to study and finish up the semester. Oh I will be so happy when August comes and I am done with Nursing school!
We don't argue very often - but we do get loud (hey, I'm Irish, Scottish & Italian and used to communicating at top volume and sometimes my German guy has to shout to be heard :) ).
I went with "Domestic matters" mostly because our housekeeping styles are drastically opposed - we get loud about that the most!
About being on time...I'm trying to work on it, and that's a huge peeve of his.
We rarely argue, but we do get into tiffs about little things. Like after a shower he gets the bathroom floor all wet and it's so gross when I'm not expecting it! Other than little things, we've fought a little more since we started planning the wedding since we are under so much stress!
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