Post # 1
I’m not sure I feel right calling her Mom and I was raised that it’s not respectful to call an adult by their first name (aside from coworkers and such). So I just have kind of avoided having to really address her, and if I do I call her Mrs. XX. But at my shower she told one of my BMs to tell me it’s ok to call her by her first name but I still feel weird!! Plus add to the fact that the first time I used her first name in an email I spelled her name wrong! But that’s FI’s father’s fault because he gave me the wrong spelling…so now I feel really bad! So, what do you all call your MIL or FMIL?
Post # 3
By her first name. If you’re getting married you’re an adult – you can call other adults by their first names.
Post # 4
I try to avoid calling them anything. I’d have no problem calling them by their first names if they asked me to, but they never have. FFIL signs e-mails as “Mr. Smith.” I feel awkward calling another adult “Mr.” unless they are my grandparents’ generation, or it is a professional setting. So I try to avoid it… although I can manage after a few glasses of wine 🙂
Post # 5
LOL I was in the same situation. What I did was call her Mrs. LastName until one day she complained that she’d rather be called by her first name, and at that point I officially had “permission” to call her by her first name.
Post # 6
I call my MIL by her first name. I think she would like it if I called her Mom, but thta’s just not happening!
Post # 7
I call her Mom but if I’m talking to someone who would assume I meant my own mom, I’ll call her by her first name.
Post # 8
I call them, my future in-laws, by their first names but I think it’s easier for me than most people. I grew up calling all adults by their first names, never Aunt Jane or Uncle Bob. I even went to a high school where the teachers went by first names. Also, if she says you should call her by her first name, just go by that. You’ll get used to it eventually.
Post # 9
I call her by her first name. The very first time I met her I said, “Very nice to meet you Mrs….” and she said just call me by my first name! It was hard to get used to but as I got closer to the family it got easier. Now its something I don’t even think about.
Post # 10
I call her by her first name, but for at least 1.5 years, I avoided calling her anything at all, just to avoid having to use a name!
Post # 11
I call her by her first name. Agree with another poster- if you are getting married you are considered an adult which means that other adults, including your MIL, are your equals.
Post # 12
I call her by her first name and once I slipped and called her mom. It totally caught me by surprise, I’m not sure if she noticed, LOL!
Post # 13
I call my MIL by her first name. She asked me to call her by her first name so thats what i do. My husband calls my mother “Mom” though, as that is what she requested he call her. so its all about preference
Post # 14
I call them both by their first name. I, too, was raised to address “adults” by Mr. or Mrs. LastName. But, they’re your in laws, it think you’re past that formality at this point.
Post # 15
I guess I should just get over it and get comfortable calling her by her first name! lol It’s just so hard for me because I grew up in a house where I never even called my brother by his first name, and still don’t – I just call him the equivalent of ‘older brother’ in Chinese!
Post # 16
I don’t think most people in that generation want to be called by “Mrs. Blah”. Maybe grandparents but I think you’d be fine to call her by her first. i call my FMIL & FFIL by their first name. Now, my FI grandparents are a different story. I have NO idea what to call them and have also tried to avoid calling them anything. I think grandparents are hard. There is calling them by their last name, or their first name or calling them what your FI calls them. My FI calls then NaNa and Papa, I would feel weird calling them that. Hmmm, I don’t know. My grandma is easy because EVERYONE calls her Granny, no one at all uses any of her real names … lol.