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What do you consider an LDR?

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
  • poll:
    less than 100 miles : (6 votes)
    14 %
    100+ miles : (15 votes)
    35 %
    250-+ miles : (13 votes)
    30 %
    500 + miles : (4 votes)
    9 %
    1,000+ miles : (1 votes)
    2 %
    1,500+ miles : (2 votes)
    5 %
    other and I'll explain below : (2 votes)
    5 %
  •  
    1.
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    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    Just curious as to what you consider an LDR?  I was 2,200 miles away from my husband when we were engaged, and that was definitely LDR.  We saw eachother around every other month.

    I have a good friend who considered her relationship an LDR when we was 3.5 hours away from her fiance and saw him at least every other weekend.

    I think in my book an LDR requires an overnight stay to make the travel worth it.  Probably anything longer than 3 hours. 

    [I agree that you can have an LDR where the distance isn't as long as schedules are just difficult to coordinate--mine is just my opinion!]

    What do you think?

     
    2.
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    324 posts
    Helper bee
    gingerlex    June 25, 2011   UK

    The UK is only little by comparison to most coutnries, so it's not really that possible to be more than a day away from somebody (unless they are obviously overseas).

    If you scrape work and life out of the way, anything that takes you more than 45 minutes in the car to me is LDR! Or if you have to venture on a motorway for more than 2 junctions ;) hehehe. Anything just inconvenient enough that it would make popping round for some together time a hassle.

    It takes 2 hours to get to him, he's 88 miles away apparently. I have to travel half an hour to get to the train station, get a train that takes an hour and 20 without a change, or 1.5hours with a change, then 20 minutes from the station with him to his house. Add into that waiting for a train to come at a convenient time.... urgh

    I have only just acquired some wheels. Not been on a motorway in 4 yrs and even then that was straight after my test....I'm a very nervous driver, so I'm not keen right now to jump into the car on my own in the dark on roads i've not driven on before. But i'll get there, national rail are driving me nutty with their trains.

     
    3.
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Distance doesn't always dictate how often a couple can get together; I know some of the girls on here don't live hundreds of miles from their SOs but consider themselves in LDRs, because their schedules prevent them from seeing each other often.

    I don't think it's fair to say someone's relationship isn't long distance just because it's not AS long of distance. It's still difficult!

     
    4.
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    Helper bee
    gingerlex    June 25, 2011   UK

    Yes, what daydreamwanderer said! I'm very lucky, I see him every weekend, but if there is a friends hen do on a saturday night or if all my friends decide to have a get together (same for him), that's it, I won't see him for a fortnight. We have one day off a week that is the same (sunday) if anything interferes on a saturday (our travel time) then that's it. Longest has been 4 weeks, which I appreciate isn't much compared to other couples, but it doesn't stop me savouring every moment any less.

     
    5.
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    2,361 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Minutiae    May 2011  

    What daydream said. If the distance is enough to prohibit you from seeing each other more than once a week, I'd consider it LDR.

     
    6.
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    We were about 2 hours away and I definitely considered us long distance, but it's kind of like daydream said - we couldn't see each other often because we were both in school, so it wasn't really possible for us to see each other more than once or twice a month...so I'd definitely consider that long distance.

     
    7.
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    tea       norcal

    to be honest, i was annoyed when a friend of mine compared my ldr, cali/michigan, to hers: she was merely 1.5 hours DRIVING from her guy. i say if it takes a bit of coordination or travel time you can consider it an ldr.

     
    8.
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    Buzzing bee
    alishaneva    May 2011   Lancaster, PA

    At about an hour away from eachother I consider CW and I in an LDR. Yes, this might anger people, but do you know how frustrating it is when your schedules don't match up, you don't live together, and you're lucky if you get to spend a day with your SO? It sucks. I've had longer distance relationships in the past and I can't say I prefer one over the other ... but long distance can be simply defined individually ...

     
    9.
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    468 posts
    Helper bee
    91011Bride    September 10, 2011   Destination wedding

    I'd say it all depends.  We're 1 hour away, but our schedules do not allow for visits without overnight stays.  If I drive to him and we go out on a date; it is totally not good (or safe) for me to leave and drive the hour home.  The road I'd have to take is pretty dark and only two lanes.  So, it all depends.  I consider us to have  LDR.  We don't get to see each other during the week and it seems we only see each other every other weekend.  Unless of course his ex has the kids and he can stay the night with me and then commute to work (which sucks).  So, it all depends. 

     
    10.
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    35 posts
    Newbee
    bamababy    December 31, 2011   Nashville

    I think it really depends on the situation.  We are about 100 miles apart, but we are both graduate students and so we see each other about every other weekend.  It is my absolute pet peeve when people say "Oh, only 100 miles?  That's not bad at all!"  Because, let's face it ladies, any distance at all is too far when you want to be together every day.

     
    11.
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    967 posts
    Busy bee
    futuredrbraun    May 15, 2010  

    I'm not sure about miles, but I think that anything over maybe 3 hours driving would be long distance. My FI and I are about a 10 hour drive and definitely long distance.

     
    12.
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    zippylef    October 30, 2010   Norfolk, UK

    I agree that an LDR depends on how often you see the person. I also agree that it is an LDR if it requires an overnight stay.

    I see my DF about once every 4 months.

     
    13.
    2,195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    JoesWifey    May 24, 2009   NYC/Wedding in Indiana

    Hubby and I were 2500 miles apart for awhile (4 years), so I was one of the jealous folks at people who were only an hour or two away from each other. yes, it's long and hard even that far away when schedules clash, but when you're not even in the same time zone as each other and only see each other like max, 4 times a  year for a week at most, it just sucks major and I'd trade anyone for that hour drive.

     
    14.
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    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    My BIL has a girlfriend that he sees about every other weekend because they live 4 hours apart, so I would consider them a LDR.  The way I look at it is that if it's not really possible to see each other on a daily basis, then it's probably a LDR. 

     
    15.
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    Worker bee
    wahlstrombjoy    August 6, 2010   Orange County, California

    FH and I are currently about 5,500 miles apart..phew... which is about a 15 hour plane ride.  Believe it or not, we always say, "It could be worse!"

     
    16.
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    goosegg1001    December 22, 2010  

    I love this thread. Fi and I are only 300 miles apart and get to see each other about once a month (in college it used to be three months), and it would always make me crazy when my roommate complained about her "LDR" They saw each other every other day since he lived less than 40 miles away.

    I cant imagine how some of you 1000+ milers feel.

     

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