(Closed) What do you consider cheating?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What do you consider cheating?
    Having sex with someone other than your SO. : (148 votes)
    24 %
    Kissing someone other than your SO. : (141 votes)
    22 %
    Sexting someone other than your SO. : (133 votes)
    21 %
    Hugging/holding hands/otherwise cuddling with someone other than your SO. : (115 votes)
    18 %
    Having a crush on someone other than your SO that is never acted upon. : (25 votes)
    4 %
    Having a close friendship with someone of the sex you're attracted to. : (33 votes)
    5 %
    Finding someone other than your SO attractive. : (4 votes)
    1 %
    Being alone with someone of the sex your attracted to in general. : (14 votes)
    2 %
    Watching porn. : (14 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    1481 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I voted for the first four plus the interactive porn. But watching regular porn, masterbating, etc is not cheating IMO. Interactive porn IS but it’s because he’ll be, well, interacting with that person! Lol

    Post # 4
    9075 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I have a pretty loose definition of cheating. The way I see it is, “You can look at the menu, you just can’t order off it.”

    If my SO commented that he felt someone was attractive, I’d shrug it off. I don’t think I’m capable of jealousy, so honestly, saying “So and so is hot/attractive/beautiful/etc” but the second I find his hands on someone in a sexual or intimate manner, he will lose said hands.

    I’m lucky in that we both agree on this, so we often will point out attractive people to one another when we go out. All in good fun. At the end of the day, he’s crawling into bed with me.

    Post # 5
    4659 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Here’s the litmus: If you would feel uncomfortable telling your SO (or letting them find out) you did it, it’s probably cheating.

    (Yep, that does mean it’s different for every couple…)

    Post # 6
    2336 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Any physical interaction *not* with your SO I think is pretty textbook cheating. Even if you’re just holding hands with that person… would you do that in front of your SO?!

    I think emotional cheating is definitely cheating as well. It can be just as damaging to a relationship as physical cheating.

    General Rule of Thumb: If you wouldn’t do/say it in front of your SO, it’s probably cheating.

    Post # 7
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @Bebealways:  That was exactly the definition I was about to give. 

    Post # 8
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    The exchange of ( or plotting to exchange) bodily fluids or romantic love with someone other then myself.

    Can he stay after work to watch the delivery lady walk by becasue she has a hot ass? Of course! Can he touch her butt? No way.

    Will I take an extra long time fumbling with my purse while paying the pizza guy if he’s a hottie?  OF COURSE. Will I answer the door in a towel? Um…no


    Hot people are out their. I can see them, so he must see them too. But he always comes home to fireflower.


    Post # 9
    432 posts
    Helper bee

    oww mann I forgot to click interactive porn!

    Post # 10
    10 posts
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Sex, kissing, sexting, interactive porn, hugging etc… Is cheating. Having a crush on, finding someone attractive, porn etc… Is not.  

    Post # 11
    6360 posts
    Bee Keeper

    There is no hard line between cheating and non-cheating, near the middle it’s a grey blur. It’s really important for the couple to talk things out, be perfectly honest with what makes them hurt, and come to agreements both partners can keep without resenting each other.

    Fiance and I side on the more conservative side of avoiding most “grey area” things (both of us). Reduces the risk of things getting complicated all of a sudden, by a lot. Some people may find where we are too stifling. We find it freeing in the sense of not having to worry about those issues, and consider the benefits we’re giving up to be small in comparison.

    Post # 12
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I also voted the first 4 and interactive porn. 

    Post # 13
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I voted for the first 3 plus interactive porn.  Sex, kissing, and sexting are definitely cheating IMO and intereacting with someone live via porn, I’d also consider cheating (but “regular” pron isn’t cheating, IMO).

    I’d also add the falling in love with someone else (aka emotional cheating).

    I didn’t vote for the 4th because 1) I don’t consider hugging to be cheating and 2) for things like cuddling, it would depend on context.  For example, if we’re at a sport event with a group of friends and one of the girls in the group is cold, I wouldn’t have a problem with Darling Husband wrapping his arms around her to help warm her up a bit.

    Post # 14
    8884 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I voted for the first 3, almost the 4th but I wasn’t sure.. cause if he held hands with someone (like say at church or something for non sexual reasons) I wouldn’t consider it cheating.

    Don’t know what interactive porn is (don’t want to!) but I guess I should have clicked that.

    Post # 15
    1815 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted for the 1st 4 and interactive porn. Sexting, kissing, cuddling…all cheating in my eyes.

    Post # 16
    2448 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Sex and making out. Just cause hugging and a kiss on the cheek are considered being friendly in my book. I hug his male friends goodbye and the ones that I’m pretty close to, I might give them a quick peck on the cheek. I think it’s cause I grew up with European parents – they like to kiss and hug everyone. Crushing on a fictional character made me laugh.

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