Post # 1
Because it’s Friday and I’m bored, I decided to do this poll. Recently I had a discussion with an acquaintance who didn’t consider pursuing another person (while in a relationship) cheating until it became physical.
It amazes me how many people believe this. I believe any sort of communication past the ‘friend stage’ is cheating and especially when the other person doesn’t know about it.
At what stage do you consider it cheating? Just curious.
Post # 3
I think there are two kinds of cheating. Emotional and physical. They are both awful and both cheating and can ruin relationships. Emotional cheating IS cheating.
Post # 4
I put other because sometimes talking on FB and whatnot is fine and no big deal, but when there is EMOTIONS involved I agree with bestbuddies: There are two kinds of cheating. And MOST of the time physical cheating starts with emotional cheating…
It really depends…
Post # 5
Anything you wouldn’t do or say in front of me, qualifies
Post # 6
Uh, I think I agree with what you said in the second last paragraph.
I used to be a pretty big whore. I was incapable of being in a relationship without cheating, so I’ve essentially done everything and anything that’s considered unfaithful.
Now that I’ve grown out of my promiscuity, I have a pretty simple attitude about it. I generally rely on: “How would I feel if this was done to me?” If I know that I’d be pissed off, then I know not to do it to my significant other.
Just to clarify, I’ve never considered being unfaithful to FI! The reason he’s my fiance is because I love him so much, that I can’t imagine being so in love with anyone else!
Post # 7
@SweetartMD: I’m talking about communicating past the friend zone. If my SO talks to a female friend or coworker ON FB and engages in harmless convo, I have no problem with it.
Post # 8
@pokie45: If you’re being secretive about it you’re probably cheating. If you’re open about it and the person you’re with doesn’t care then its not cheating. And yes by that definition you could have sex with someone else and have it not be cheating (wouldn’t be ok in my relationship, but maybe it would be ok in someone else’s). It could also be cheating if you’re having a conversation with someone and deliberately hiding it from your SO. I’m not saying you need to tell each other every little thing, but the moment you start hiding things on purpose there’s a problem.
Post # 10
@bestbuddies: 100% agreed. I’ll never forget listening to a question on the radio when FI and I started dating. It was: Would you rather be cheated on physically or emotionally? I tried to weigh the pros and cons of both, but I would be severely unhappy and betrayed if either took place. I almost feel as if emotional cheating would be worse mainly because:
- Your SO has feelings for someone else other than you.
- Emotional feelings do lead to an attraction.
- Wants and needs will have to be fulfilled.
- Someone else makes your SO happy.
Other reasons too.
Of course physically cheating is just as bad, but it could just be meaningless sex (which is still wrong). So, I don’t know. Just stay away from the opposite sex if there’s not any good intentions. Hahaha.
Post # 11
@Nona99: I agree. I heard Dr. Phil say something along these lines on The View and I for once agreed with him.
If you can’t do it in front of your spouse or significant other it is cheating.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
My definition is this:
If you wouldn’t be comfortable doing/saying it in front of your spouse: You’re Cheating.
It’s that simple– I have a very dear friend (who is male) and he and I are often mistaken for a couple when we hang out just the 2 of us, because we are very close/ physically affectionate (hugging, holding hands, etc.) But there is no part of our relationship that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing in front of my husband.
Post # 13
@juliette.eliza: Kudos to your husband. That’s something I would not handle very well.
Post # 14
@pokie45: I think anytime there is an emtional connection it’s cheating. Sex, no sex. To me it doesn’t matter. If you do anything that you can’t share with your partner or are afraid to share with your partner because you know the implications, you shouldn’t be doing it.
A lot of people voted for “communication.” I don’t think that alone constitutes cheating. My husband has a female co-worker that calls him a decent amount (pretty much always work related) and I don’t care. I know there is nothing there/no feelings. Although I joke I’m going to have to kick her ass some day soon 🙂
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Any pursuit is cheating. I think it’s fine for DH to call, text, email, and hang out with another woman if they are truly friends, but if he got even the tiniest feeling he might be interested in that woman, the friendship would need to be put on hold.
Post # 16
I always thought that cheating is whatever your partner would define it to be.
For him, he doesn’t have a problem with me flirting with other men (as long as I’m honest about it) or kissing girls (as long as he gets to see it or photos/video of it).