(Closed) What do you do?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you just have to talk about it and pros and cons of a baby. Maybe decide on a timeline that makes you both happy.

Post # 4
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

This is a great question.  Frankly, I don’t think DH will ever be ready.  He’s not really *kid crazy*.   Basically, he knows I want kids, but he’s kind of “whatever” about the whole issue.  I have a feeling it will take a few years for me to convince him that we are ready….NOT looking forward to it!

Post # 5
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

ummm we’ve kind of bargained about it. We also discussed *why* he thought he might not want to have kids. Turns out he’s afraid having kids will ruin our marriage. I pointed out that having a wife who wants kids and isn’t allowed to have one might ruin the marriage faster. 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I think we’d talk about what was causing the feeling of “not ready” – whether it’s finances, the house, if there is something we haven’t achieved yet or a holiday we haven’t taken, etc. There’s never a perfect time so I know we won’t wait for that, but if there’s the sense that we need some more savings or need to have one last romantic holiday then we can tackle that as long as it’s not indefinite 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My SO is eight years older. Over the last year or two, he’s felt ready to be a father. But I won’t be ready for at least four years. Thankfully he’s been nothing but understanding…I need a career after all, haha. It’s a compromise; he waits a few years longer and I start sooner. I think that as long as both people in the couple want to have a child/children, this is something that can be worked out pretty easily.

If all else fails (and you’re evil)…there’s alcohol.

Post # 8
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This is a great question. I think what Rosie Girl had mentioned might be the way to go. The best thing to do is communicate it with your partner. I guess I can say that I was lucky in that both the hubs and I knew we wanted to have kids (and many – if affordable of course). We were also OK with the idea of getting preggie sooner. Of course, I didn’t think it would have happened as soon as it did but God works in mysterious ways.

Post # 9
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m actually the one that isn’t crazy about children. I’ve never been too keen on the idea, but lately I’ve just felt a little more maternal. We both know that we aren’t ready to have kids within the next few years. We have demanding jobs and the little quality time we do get to spend together we like to enjoy alone.

We compromised on babysitting other people’s children every now and then for the next few years. We are also getting a kitten just to have something cute and cuddly to love. I know a furball doesn’t replace a child, but we’re unconventional and it works for us, at least for the time being.

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