Post # 1
So, I have been searching and searching for affordable dresses that suit my figure and personality. We are having a fun, relaxed, romantic, summer wedding. It is just in the local village hall and so I don’t want a big fancy dress. saying that – I want to feel like a bride.
I found a dress for reaaally cheap which is a fifties style, tea length dress. It is white with red floral pattern all over it and I love it and my fiancee really loves it, it is the only dress I have seen him really be able to imagine me in.
I would imagine either doing that with eyeliner and red lips, or going for a lacy, tea length dress with coloured tights or shoes and fun lipstick etc. I don’t imagine it being classic.
What do you do if your family just don’t see it though? I know my mum would prefer more traditional, but I find it boring and not me. She told me not to be different just for the sake of being different, but if I wore a plain, fancy white dress I would feel like I was being normal for the sake of being normal?
Can any of you bees share experiences with style clashes and how you resolved it – plus pics if you want!! xx
Post # 3
ps I know it is my day and I should wear what I want but my family and other people’s opinions always matter to me so I want to know how to show them my vision
Post # 4
@JazzieB: I posted a similar post, my dress is blush with a flowery skirt and my mom and grandma did not care for it…as unaccertive as I am, I had to put my foot down and explain how amazing I felt in the dress and how it was exactly how I wanted to look on my wedding day. They eventually started to realize their traditional ideas were not going to suit me and came around to my non-white dress. As for my foot-in-mouth bridesmaid who told me she hated the color? My wedding, not hers. I am ok with not everyone loving my look, as long and my fiancé and I are happy 🙂 go with your gut!
Post # 5
If you love it and he loves it, they will learn to love it. Once it all comes together, they will see that it was perfectly you. And if they don’t, at least you were yourself at your wedding. You can not regret that.
Post # 6
@JazzieB: Wear it anyway!
Post # 7
All that matters to me is my opinion as well as my mom’s (parents bought my dress). Luckily, the only rule she had was not to show too much cleavage. She knows I love sweetheart necklines, so the search was a little difficult. Fortunately, my dress doesn’t show too much, and I ordered a size up just to be safe on the coverage on the chest area.
Other than that, I could care less about what other people think. I know my FI will like any dress I wear, and my dad didn’t care since he’s more laid back when it comes to what I wear. He knows I’d choose wisely. I don’t care about what the guests or the rest of my family’s opinions on my dress. If I like it, I’d wear it. I’m the bride.
You should wear whatever you want. It’s your wedding day, and you should feel however you want to feel in a dress whether it’s traditional or not. Be you and go with your style! 🙂
ETA: here are pics when I tried on the sample. I wasn’t wearing a bra in these pics, and I won’t have bra cups sewn in my dress to keep the neckline looking appropriate enough for my mom. I’ll def wear those adhesive covers tho. Now that I think about it, I’d probably still wear this dress even if mom thought it was too low. I know I can convince her somehow that it’d still look decent… But I’m glad she’s ok with it. Phew!
Post # 8
OP, when it comes down to it, you’ll be the one wearing the dress and your opinion of the dress is the only one that truly matters. If you love it, if it’s you and if you feel beautiful and confident in it, that will show through and your friends and family should respect that.
I’m planning on wearing a red gown for the cermeony and most of the reception and a hlack gown to dance in. My mother is incredibly traditional and wants me to wear the traditional white gown. As much as I want to make her happy, every time I envisioned wearing what she wanted me to wear, I felt physically ill. It’s not how I see myself as a bride, and in this aspect, I’m going to prioritize my feelings over hers since I will be the one to wear it and I will be the one who would regret not sticking to my guns.
Fortunately, all my friends and the FI have been incredibly supportive. I think my mother is just in denial that I’m not the demure little flower she wants me to be. Our most recent tiff was over the skirt. I wanted something different and out there while she wanted me to have a simple skirt like Kate Middleton’s. I quickly reminded her that the word “simple” has never described me and that I loathe Middleton so it would be a giant no
Hang in there. Just be firm and tell them that you’re not being different for the sake of being different, you’re just trying to be true to you.
Post # 9
I’d recommend talking to your family to find WHY they don’t like it. If it’s because it’s unflattering, fits weird, or something like that, then take their advice into consideration. If their reason has to do with personal style, tradition, or anything cultural (“you should have a lace dress because grandma had a lace dress blah blah blah”) then take it with a BIG grain of salt.
I like wlphilli‘s suggestion of explaining to them in detail why you love it and how it makes you feel and why you don’t want what they are suggesting… often they will come around. It’s hard to tell you to just ignore their opinions because I totally understand that it’s important to feel like they are supporting your choices.
To give you an example, I wasn’t into a regular engagement ring, diamonds do nothing for me at all, but my FI really wanted me to wear a traditional diamond ring in a traditional setting. However, I really want a pear halo with a coloured centre stone which he was hesitant about… He wanted it to “look like an engagement ring” and this didn’t look like an engagement ring to him. Once I explained to him that this is the only ring I’ve been thinking about for the past 2 weeks out of the thousands I’ve looked at online, and it’s the only one that gets me SUPER DUPER excited to wear it, he started to understand and be more supportive. Now he’s happy that I’m happy! Communication about these things helps a lot and can bring you back on the same page…
Keep in mind I have a really understanding FI, so if your mom or relatives or whoever are really stubborn/unreasonable and insist that you look a certain way, f*** ’em. 😉 Some people are really hard to please, so in that case you just gotta strap on some balls, do what makes you happy and move on.
Post # 10
thanks guys 🙂 I guess I will try to explain. I think my mum sometimes thinks I am alternative just to rock the boat but it’s really nothing like that,
I don’t think I would feel comfortable in a regular wedding dress. Thanks for the words of support 🙂
Post # 11
@JazzieB: Your mom and family should want you to be happy on your day! Wear it with flair!