Post # 1
I’m having a tough year. I am really struggling with my job as I babysit while I’m in school and babysit for a couple families with kids with behavior problems- like MAJOR behavior problems and it is so discouraging sometimes. I only have a semester of school left but I’m so burnt out. I’m always tired. I’m sick of being long-distance with my fiancé and wish we were just married already. My family is having issues and my parents may get a divirce. I’m really struggling with my body image and I’m about 15 pounds overweight and constantly thinking about it. And seriously, i know that I need to get some perspective because I have so many great things in my life that I should appreciate but I feel like I am down, down down into my negativity. i feel like when I talk to friends I end up talking about something negative and I’m sure it gets annoying. But then if I don’t vent to them I feel bottled up and fake. I used to be a really positive person 🙁
How can I stop this cycle of negativity and feel more positive? helllllp.
Post # 3
It sounds cheesy but I find it really helpful to have a gratitude journal. Every night before bed, I write down 3 things that I am grateful for that day – even if they are really small. It really helps shift my focus to things that I am happy for. I hope you feel more positive soon!!
Post # 4
@Sassyfras27: that’s such a good idea! And I just got a blank journal as an engagement gift! Thanks 🙂
Post # 5
@FutureMrsT1221: I’m not sure that I have any sound advice as I’m not in your position. I am long distance with my FI and have been for over 7 years and I’m currently a irst year teacher and still living in the bedroom I grew up in at my parents’ house until my wedding (hurry up May!!). I understand how stressful and overwhelming long distance can be and how lonely you can feel. Reach out to your FI when you are feeling down. Give him a call and just talk. Talk about everything coming up soon: the wedding, honeymoon, moving in together. Have some “me time” every day even if its just 10-15 minutes. Do something you want to do, not something you have to do. I hope you find your positive energy again and that some other bees chime in with even better advice!! Take care and keep on keepin’ on! 🙂
Post # 6
I love hanging out with positive people when I’m feeling down. Happinesss is truly infectious. I have a couple girflriends who manage to see the best in everything, and I love talking with them if something is upsetting me.
Post # 7
@baileyjosephine: those are all good ideas too, thank you!
Post # 8
First start with your energy, its much easier to handle all of life when your body is feeling better. Try adding vitamins including B12 for energy. Also have cup of green tea or a smoothie in the morning, they help curb your apetite and revv your metabolism. One night get a really good nights sleep ( take a bath beforehand, maybe have a glass of wine) and get as much sleep as you can even 10 hrs if your schedule permits. You will feel refreshed and if u add vitamins & tea/smoothie, you can prolong that feeling all day! Every time school gets you down remember that you have one semester until you can move on with your life and do something you are really passionate about. Every time u see those kids, remember that you will have different wasy to raise your own kids (if u want them).
Take one day and make these changes and you will feel alot better. then you can deal with the things that you cannot change much easier.
Bons: ride through the starbucks line and pay it forward! you can never feel bad about doing something nice for someone.
Post # 9
I have a jar that I keep on my counter. I write down good things that I am happy or grateful for when they happen, fold it up and put them in the jar. At the end of the year they get taken out of the jar and read!
Post # 10
@Zaraj_Will: thank you! That is great advice. I used to make kale smoothies every morning- but you know how things become a vicious cycle? Like, I was tired so I stopped eating right but that made me more tired so I ate even worse, etc etc? Yeah, that happened. Thanks for the reminder! I’m going to have my smoothie and vitamins tomorrow 🙂
Post # 11
@iloverocks: that’s such a cute idea! I love it! Do you keep all of them year after year?
Post # 12
@FutureMrsT1221: Exercise always boosts my mood by leaps and bounds, and lasts for days after e engaging in it. In the fair months a walk or run with an iPod is the best medicine. In the winter months Bikram yoga is remarkably uplifting and calming, I feel reborn after class!
Post # 13
@FutureMrsT1221: The first step you have taken which is addressing your negative thoughts and approach. Some people go their entire lives without acknowledging this behavior and it is damaging to say the least.
I was raised in a VERY negative household. It wasn’t until I went away to college that I realized the impact of that approach and how others reacted to it. I basically started a total character overhaul that has taken me about 11 years and many tears. I am still a work in progress to say the least but every day I try to be the most positive and happy person I can be.
I would say first look to see if there are certain triggers. This could be people, situations, events, times of day etc. Knowing that there are times when you are weak is helpful and allows you to be more aware of your actions and words. Also, try to react and speak with more thought. I have a sarcastic sense of humor which means in trying to be more positive I have to think before I allow those words to just flow out. It is a conscience thing every day but in the end it allows me to be in control of what I say and do.
I agree with the exercise suggestion as well. We all remember that line from Legally Blonde about exercise giving you endorphins and endophins make you happy (happy people don’t kill their husbands). This will also help you to feel better about yourself on the outside too. It doesn’t have to be anything too strenuous. Try walking, hiking or jogging for about 20-30 minutes a day just to get the blood flowing.
Lastly I would suggest to find something that you can connect to emotionally and try to focus on that every once in a while. For me it is nature. When I find myself in a particularly foul or ungrateful mood I go outside for a walk and really appreciate everything that are around me. I will notice colors, animals, people doing fun things, sounds lilke birds etc. When I am done I find myself relaxed and refreshed which of course leads to a positive feeling.
Best of luck and you can do it!
Post # 14
I plan things to look forward to. Vacations are a big thing for us right now… we always have the next one planned so when one ends we have another to look forward to. Also, we go to our fav. restaurant once a week.. that’s another thing to look forward to. Just little things really. And I make lists of things I want to buy and look forward to getting them. What can I say.. I like to plan lol.
Listening to music really helps my moods. It’s free and so easy to do… I make playlists of my favorite songs.
I love to swim. Unfortunately it’s just too bloody cold for me to drag myself to the pool these days, but it really boosts my mood when I do it. I think exercise really helps. I’ve been bad at being consistent about it, though.
In the winter I get SAD so I make sure I take vitamin D. It seems to help. I also try to get plenty of sleep. I am so sad and irritable when I am sleep deprived.
I like watching funny TV shows/movies when I can… it takes me out of that blah mood when I laugh.
Post # 15
@FutureMrsT1221: I know its hard to stop feeling so crummy, but all it takes is a little motivation! Exercise is a really great stress relief, so get a membership to the gym! (And it will help with you feeling heavy too!) What I always do is try to do something nice for someone else! Leave flowers at a neighbors house, buy coffee for a stranger, set a goal for a random act of kindness once a week. You’ll be feeling great in no time!
Post # 16
@FutureMrsT1221: Oh i definitely understand, your body is missing those nutrients too, that will help perk you up. and I agree with PP that a litle jog or yoga would be great too get that natural high, then no one in the world can bring u down!