(Closed) What do you do when people gift you things like this?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh goodness….I have no idea! Maybe…are the fake roses and tulle and bows removeable from the glasses? They’re still not my thing, but if they only make a quick, one time toast to the gifters they might be ok…If you have any sewing skills, you might be able to deconstruct the ringbearer pillow and make it into a better one (minus the tulle, bow, and the addition of color, lace, etc.)? The rest is…well…I wouldn’t use it. But I have a strong aversion to tulle and bows.

Post # 4
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Use them all as decorations for the gift table?!

That is what I am planning to do with all the crap my mom bought us.  Love her to death… but our styles are just NOT the same!

Post # 5
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Step 1: Thank them for their kind gift. Step 2: Tell them you already have something you are using for the rings, etc, and were keeping it a surprise. Step 3: If they don’t offer to take them back, sell them!

Post # 6
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Haha, I didn’t get anything like that, but my grandmother did gift us plastic bride and groom shot glasses on beaded necklaces to use at the reception.  We just took a few pictures with them at the rehearsal dinner, and decided to stick with the provided stemware for our toasts. 

Post # 7
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@SapphireSun: that’s a good idea. VM, you should use them at the rehearsal. You can have your bridal party sign in with the guestbook and use the glasses at the rehearsal dinner. The ring pillow can be used at the rehearsal too. If they ask you why, just tell them that you already had something for the wedding, but you still wanted to use what they got you.

Post # 8
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Break it…

When they ask “I was so upset this morning b/c the dog chewed up and destroyed the box that had our {crap they gave you, and other mis. things that would be w/ it} we had to run to {store} to replace them quickly before we got here.”

Post # 9
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

People know not to buy me crap and when they do (my mom and aunt) I generally ask them if they can return it because I already have a guestbook, etc. or the color/style does not match. I think those glasses wqould be perfect for a toast at the rehersal dinner, you can even thank your MIL for them as part of your toast so everyone knows they were not your choice 😉

Post # 10
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@VirginiaMarie: What a strange phenomenon! I can’t imagine ever thinking, “oh I know, I’ll help out a bride who’s getting married in less than a month… I bet she hasn’t thought of [insert extremely obvious wedding object here]!”

I would go for the old “beg forgiveness not permission”, use what you had planned on using, and if they say something, use one of the lines about having something already.

If all the gifters will be at the rehearsal dinner that’s not a bad option, but only if they won’t be even more offended that their previous gift is used “only” at the rehearsal.

 

Post # 11
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m curious to hear the answers to this, because my FMIL has already started doing this, not just for the wedding, but also for our house. Everytime she comes over she has some piece of crap tea towel or coffee mugs or something. Never does it ever match anything in our house, or our personal tastes! I’ve taken to using/displaying it in her presence once, then chucking it out.

Post # 12
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@VirginiaMarie: Seriously, you have some of the weirdest things happening to you for your wedding. I feel like you need to take the glasses and drink some straight vodka just to get through to your wedding day.

Post # 13
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ohh, man. I need to put up a pic of the toasting glasses FMIL got for FI and I! They have caricatures drawn on them of a bride and groom. She thought we’d just LOVE to use them at our wedding! Oh, but the caricature of the bride? Looks NOTHING like me. She’s blonde-haired and blue-eyed. 

 

The worst part is, FI thought they were so funny and “totally our taste.” Um, no.

Post # 14
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh man I would not be happy at ALL if I felt obligated to use ANYTHING with ANY amount of tulle in my wedding ANYWHERE.  That pillow is outrageous!!!  LOL sorry but I’m actually laughing at your plight right now!

In seriousness though, I like the other poster’s suggestion of telling them thanks but you already purchased those items.  Quick and easy way to get yourself off the hook!

Post # 15
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I will be following this post closely! My Aunt gave me a bridal purse that she made herself a few weeks ago. It’s not pretty and not my style so I have no idea what to do with it, but I feel obligated to use it!

Post # 16
Member
520 posts
Busy bee

Awww, they are probably just excited and happy to be buying wedding “stuff”.  I believe in honesty first and foremost though…..I wouldn’t lie and say the dog ate them.  While you are so appreciative and so happy, you found something else that was just a little more your style.  The items they purchased are very traditional 70’s in my opinion…..maybe that’s why they like them so much. 

Tough spot, though. 

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