(Closed) What do you do when the bride and groom don't agree on who to invite?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Firstly, his family should have offered to help if they expected people to come. They have nothing to do with the decision. 

I wouldnt back down with your FI. Maybe you can come to some sort of compromise where you invite 1 or 2 of them. Id also ask him why?

And everytime he says “well youre initing XY and Z from your family Id simply say “well, yes thats because my dad is paying”. Its the truth and its no eexcuse to invite people you dont even see. 

Id also stress how inviting friends over family could ruin his relationship with his. 

 

He’ll see sense … i hope

 

Post # 4
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@leecy87:  +1 You & your dad are paying, you two get final say on the guest list. 

Post # 5
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

If there is room for 120 guests total, can you pick 60 from your side, and he pick 60 from his side? When these issues come up and it’s a parent who wants to dictate who can and cannot come, yet they are not contributing financially, then it is ok to tell them to stuff it, but not the groom. It’s his wedding too and he deserves to celebrate with whoever he feels closest to, even if you do not like them.

Post # 6
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I disagree that OP and her dad get to decide guest list, as if its nothing to do with her fi. Hes the groom!!

I think you should do a percentage of invites divided up between bride, groom, and families

If he doesnt care about inviting his family, thats his business. Doesnt mean he should forfeit the right to have guests altogether? But at the end of the day, this is a celebration for both of you, its not just your party

Post # 7
Hostess
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Magpie118:  may i ask why your groom isnt halping out with money for the wedding? Besides that…i say split the guest list at 60 guest each or because you dad is paying. .you dad should get maybe 10 choice guest and then you and your groom each get 55….take the mutual friends and divide them up between you and him (like you have 10 mutual friends…5 are used on your guest list and 5 are on his). Then he can do what he wants with the rest….

Post # 8
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would sit down with your FI and not get up until you have a guest list. That way, you can hash things out then and there will be no more surprises about last minute additions or unwanted guests.

 

Since you are footing the bill, I’m inclined to think that if there are a few people who need to be cut down then you should have a say, however, I don’t think you should pull the “I’m paying so I get the final say” card (not saying you are or would). 

 

I’d say just sit down and figure it out together. That way you can each understand each other’s reasoning and feel better about the final list.

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