(Closed) What do you do when you are being manipulated??>?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll:
    Over reacting for sure : (5 votes)
    8 %
    Maybe a little : (8 votes)
    14 %
    NO! You have a right to be mad : (46 votes)
    78 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5823 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Yes, you are being manipulated.  How you handle it is up to you.  I think you can just write back your explanation:

    “If we allow Cousin to bring his girlfriend, we will have to make exceptions for ALL of our guests, and that is not financially feasable for us.  We are sorry for the inconvenience, but no, Cousin cannot bring his girlfriend.  We completely understand if this makes it logistically impossible for him to come since he would be driving alone, and we will miss his company if that is the case.”

    At least you have the benefit of replying via e-mail so you’re not so “on the spot!”

    Post # 4
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    First of all, I’m so sorry about your uncle 🙁 but I have to say that’s pretty f**ked up of them to do. I think you’re definitely being manipulated here. It’s up to you whether you want to stand your ground or cave in. They’ve got you pretty good on this. I’m sorry 🙁

    Post # 5
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    That is really frustrating, but I wouldn’t let it get to you. I’m sure if you tell your uncle and explain that this is the rule for guests that he will understand. Especially since you can’t make an exception for all the other people invited to your wedding.

    I just want to make sure I’m reading this correctly. Your Aunt and Uncle will be flying, but your cousin will be driving? Why wouldn’t everyone just drive?

    Post # 6
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    You might be being manipulated.  Your uncle may have a valid concern but his wife probably asked him to email you.  I understand why you’re annoyed.  My FI’s uncle keeps getting people to ask us for his teenage daughter to bring her new boyfriend, in my case, we continue to say no.  I think you have to decide what’s more important, having one less guests, or obliging your uncle.  That’s a tough call, I can see why you’re mad. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    i agree! that is kinda shady. i say no means NO

    Post # 8
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Hold up! I don’t quite understand.  Was your Aunt’s issue the driving first? Or is this the run-around the original denial?

    Post # 11
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    OK this might be bad advice but I’d stall.  Say you are trying to limit your +1’s because you’re already over how many people your place can accomadate but if you get enough no’s then you’ll try to invite some SOs.

    Post # 13
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    So he doesn’t even have to drive alone in the first place? His sister is going to be with him?

    I would be upset if they did that to me. I hope everything works out. I’m really sorry about your uncle as well. 🙁

    Post # 14
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We aren’t allowing guests either, it is FAR to expensive…I’m sure this will happen to us too but we aren’t there yet… wishing you the best of luck and a beautiful wedding,

    katiebirdbee

    Post # 15
    Member
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    No. I absolutel agree with MightySapphire. If you allow him a guest, hen other family or friends could get very upset that you didnt allow them one. You cannot make an unfair exception, especially if he’s not really going to be alone in the first place.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would definitely stick to my +1 rule in your case and not allow your cousin to bring his girlfriend. He is not driving alone, his sister will be with him, and the guilt trip from your Uncle was totally uncalled for.

    The topic ‘What do you do when you are being manipulated??>?’ is closed to new replies.

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