Post # 1
I know I can’t be the only one to be in this situation, so I thought I could see what your advice would be.
I’ve moved to a different country (Canada from the US) to be with my FI and I’m worried about my bridal party…I only have a couple of close friends and they are back home. My MOH, I’m a bit worried about because we’re not as close as we used to be (we’ve been best friends since the 7th grade). She’s more distant now and when I do see her, she snaps at me a lot and is really moody. She never mentions the wedding or anything like that and I feel like asking her to be my MOH was an imposition or something. She’s going to be very busy with her job around the time of my wedding (scheduled for May) and I just got the feeling that everything was just a very big inconvenience to her..
I’ve got one other close friend as well, but she’s moved out of state and is very busy with her life so we hardly get to talk anymore.
Here in Canada, I don’t have any friends really. I’m pretty introverted and it’s hard to make friends…so with that in mind, my FI is the complete opposite and has about 400 friends on standby and will probably want about 6-9 people in his party….
So I guess I just want to know, if any of you had to move to be with your FI and you didn’t really have friends/family to fill out your bridal party’s ranks…how did you handle it? Esp. if you have a hard time making new friends.
Post # 3
@Pixie79: I would just have no bridesmaids. It can be done.
For the ceremony I would have someone do a reading of some sort, have the groom enter, have the wedding march start and then walk down the aisle. Make it sweet and short.
Or you could like have his GMs stand in an arch around you as a couple at the alter?
Model it maybe after the royal wedding? Do only flowergirls and a ring bearer and maybe one attendant if you wish to.
It can be done! Google image is great. I’m actually looking now.
Post # 4
Well, I’m not in the same situation, but I can kind of relate.
S and I met in one province and moved to another together. However, we are having our wedding across the country where all of his family lives, so while I know his family, I’m not close enough to ask any of them to be in the bridal party.
We are opting to have no bridal party, and just involve our parents. He is wearing his dress uniform for the wedding, so while my Mom holds my bouquet, his Mom is holding his hat, and his Dad is holding the rings. Our parents will also act as our witnesses.
We had originally planned on a BP, but after my family fell apart and on e of my bridesmaids passed away, we scrapped the whole thing.
Its a decision I’m 100% happy with.
Also wanted to add, that when we moved here, we didn’t know anyone, so I can appreciate feeling isolated. I took the opportunity to take some classes, join a fitness group, and tried to be more receptive of people. It took about a year and bit, but we made some fantastic friends. it will come, I promise!
Post # 5
I actually found an image on google image where the couple had their PARENTS at the alter beside them in formal wear!!
Post # 6
Honestly, I think you’ll be fine without them! One of mine caused me so much drama and expense in the end that I would probably rather not have had any. Actually I started off planning for none, but then was pressured into having them. My mum was my best support throughout and my dad walked me down the aisle. The only thing is if you want a hen party but you don’t absolutely need that. Good luck x
Post # 7
Thanks so much for this advice ladies. 🙂 If I can’t have any bridesmaids, I really like the idea of the groom’s party standing in an arch around us. I’m glad this isn’t quite so weird…I know for my FI’s family it will be a first, but oh well 🙂
Post # 8
We eloped so no BMs for me on our wedding day and it was awesome! You will be fine. Bridesmaids can often be nothing more than a headache lol
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Hey lady! Here’s what I think you should do – neither of you have official bridesmaids / groomsmen. That way you don’t feel like he looks all popular while you don’t have anyone on your side. But before the wedding, as you’re getting ready, you each have whomever you want hang out and get ready with you. That way your fiancé still gets his bro time but you don’t have to feel awkward at the ceremony.
My sister got married this summer and they had no wedding party at all – it was lovely and intimate and not weird at all.
Post # 10
My brother-in-law had no wedding party, and it was lovely. I think the two fathers signed the register as witnesses. I definitely think no BMs is preferable to using people you’re not very close to.
Post # 11
We don’t have a bridal party. We’ll have our siblings and a best friend do the carrying of rings, speaches and stuff. We won’t have anyone standing besides us at the ceremony.
Post # 12
is he ok not having a bridal party?
or just having one?
I’ll be your bridesmaid! j.k! but I hope you figure this all out! I kinda feel how you did with not having alot of pepole to ask – I got lucky and they all where able to make it tho!
Wishes for you~!
Post # 13
@lolot: I would actually prefer not to have to worry about a bridal or groom’s party, but he’s got a european background, so we’re doing the huge catholic wedding thing. Generally in his family, 9 or so people is the normal in the party. Plus, he’s got a best friend that I know he would want to be his best man and 2 other brothers. I come from a small family, I’m an only child, and I don’t have very many friends at all so I guess this will be completely reflected when we get married haha 🙂 We’ll have about 250 in attendance and I’ll be lucky if I have 10 on my side.
@alishaloo: Auw haha thanks 🙂 I’m glad you were able to work it all out 🙂 I think I would meet with resistance to not having a bridal party…if anything, he will want to fill the ranks with his female relatives….I just feel weird having someone be a bridesmaid whom I am not completely close with. It feels like a terrible imposition to ask anyone, and I would fully intend on buying their dresses/make up for the wedding and so on. I don’t even expect a shower or any type of party or anything.
I guess I just feel weird knowing that my wedding will show just how few friends I have…it’s not like I’m a bad person…it’s just, I like to invest my energy into just a few folks….there’s no way I could have as many friends as he does…I could never have the energy to keep up.
Post # 14
@Pixie79: Awww, don’t think of it as an imposition. For most of my friends, I was thrilled to be in their wedding party and would have been hurt if I hadn’t been asked. I alway was expected to buy at least a BM dress, and never really thought of the basic costs as an imposition. I would talk to the girl you want as your MOH. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate. I know when I was asked to be MOH for my bestfriend since elementary school, I had a lot on my plate. I wasn’t the most helpful BM ever and wasn’t always the most communicative with the bride either. I wasn’t trying to be unhelpful, but I could barely take care of myself. Glad the birde didn’t take offense. She might just be busy and might not be trying to blow you off.
I always believe in open communication. So much gets lost and friendships get ruined when one person percieves a slight and the other person is unaware it was given. You’ve been friends with the potential MOH for a long time, I think its worth following up with her and having a real heart to heeart. It certainly can’t hurt. There’s no reason to give up on a frienship thats spanned decades just because she’s been off recently. It would probably be nice for you to have at least one close friend standing with you at your wedding.
Post # 15
Instead of having a bridal party you could just have witnesses (I am not sure if you need them in the US, but in AUS we have to have witnesses sign our marriage licence)
Post # 16
@lawyerchick13: Thanks for that. You 100% right there….it’s just really hard to have confrontation with her of all people. I’m pretty sure she would do whatever she could to prove that she cared…it’s just that when we spend time together, she snaps at me but not her other friends. I just feel like she doesn’t like me for whatever reason and it sucks, but yeah, I will talk with her. Sometimes people aren’t aware of how they are making the other person feel and I would definitely want to know if I was causing someone discomfort. Ugh 🙁 one uncomfortable conversation coming up! lol