Post # 1
So my mother had us (my twin sister and me) as a teenager. Ever since we’ve never been “normal” as far as our relationship is concerned…like sisters where one really does have to do what the other says. But she’s never really felt mature to me. But it never really screamed at me how much until she lost her house and moved in with my sister and her fi. The only ground rule they had was pay your portion of the bills. That was it. Our younger sister naturally had to move in too.
She pays bills/rent upwards of 20 days late, she always has to borrow money and she had the dead nerve to say to my sister a few months ago that she wasn’t going to pay rent anymore, since it was tying up her money. My FBIL is seething, with good reason and my fiance quite frankly is willing to move to Quebec to avoid having them passed off on us.
What the hell do we do at this point…I mean my sister and I agree that if either of us is going to be taking care of anyone our 6 year old sister we’d be willing to take custody of. She’s not mooching, just a baby. Is it time to say you’re the adult…get on with being the adult, or do we suck it up because quite frankly she put sweat and tears into raising us? My fiance says that can only be an excuse for so long.
What the hell do we do?!?!
Post # 3
@nalure: my circumstances are very different to yours. my mum left when i was 14 to be with her new man… she had kids young and to me she was rebelling trying to get her teen years back as she was with my dad from the age of 13. my mum really showed her immaturity by leaving 4 children behind. i took it hard at first but my feelings for my mum have never changed really from the way i have always felt for her, in that i love her so very much. i would and always be their if she ever needs anything especially a roof over her head. i do feel the years or blood weat and tears will always count for something and always should. i personally wouldn’t charge my mum rent, one main reason is she would then be able to save up to move out and live on her own again. all this said i lived with my mum for 4 months 3 years back we hated living together but we had no other choice.
to me is seems you just simply want your mum to shape up and act like an adult, i would in your situation with your circumstance, tell her that you are willing to take custody of you 6 year old sister (or just that you will provide for her). i would tell her how you feel, if she doesn’t work, then she needs too, or how else is she ever going to be able to stand alone, and provide a life for your little sister… i really think you and your sister are going have to be the adults here! good luck 🙂
Post # 4
Long story short, my parents are constantly having me give them $ to dig them out of ridiculous messes. My dad even used my credit card to pay for their vacation without telling me. lame. I did it for years cause they’re my parents right? Well, they still treat me like poo and I told them if they ever need money again to bite me. (im kinda a brat) I finally realized they do what they do cause i totally enable them to. Im not telling you what to do, but I can say i should have only helped them once and that’s it. Your FI is right. and honestly Your mom might be grateful to have you and your sis take care of your lil sister. Good luck with this hun!