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We all get caught up in the details.
The details seem important to you and the photographer will take wonderful pictures of those details. But, in the joy of the day and the muddling of time, people may not remember the details.
Or the may, if the details were that good. Sometimes, people won't remember the big things. Perhaps, even, the most expensive things!
I am having a guilt trip because as I try to sit here and remember the floral/non-floral centerpieces of weddings I've been to, I realize that I can't remember them! I am trying to remember them for some inspiration for my own decorations. Of course, I can refer back to pictures but I was surprised that I couldn't remember the details or decoration of a wedding--something that I assume the couple took enough time and money to present. I mean, I wouldn't want that to happen after my wedding...right?
Well, maybe it's about the environment at the moment. Maybe people won't remember how fancy my flowers were, but at the time, they were awesome.
What details do you not remember about weddings you've been to? Details that you may be obsessing over at the moment, perhaps!
table numbers, invitations and most all the paper products. The only reason I remember the last place card we had (though I wasnt there) was my Future FIL's place cards becasue it is Greg and Fiance since it was the weekend after we got engaged. Otherwise, flowers, and most all these super expensive time consuming crap that we dont remember... sigh
Definitely the paper products and table linens/place setting/and etc. There's only one centerpiece I actually remember bc it was really super tall and and flowers and lights, perhaps fish. No, seriously, it was 4 feet tall.
On the flip-side I ALWAYS remember the DJ/entertainment. To go with the 4 foot tall centerpieces was the Elvis impersonater they had for music :/
I don't remember the paper stuff, linens or centerpieces. Oh, and my fbil had a giant ice sculpture at his wedding a few years ago and I didn't remember it until I looked back at his pics recently. I think that the food and music are usually the most memorable parts of a reception.
I agree with the previous posters... any sort of paper product detail (invitations, place cards, table numbers).... I can't remember any of it from any other wedding I've been to.
I always remember if the bride/groom do some sort of off-beat choreographed first dance. And I remember how the DJ was.
Out of dozens of wedding invitations I've recieved over the years, the only one I remember was hand sewn by the bride, and I only remember that because it was SO HER. She's like ... if she had her way, she'd be living in Little House On The Prairie, you know?
I don't remember any centerpieces, except that one friend had candles. I only know she had candles because we lit the food on fire.
I remember live music because I've known some of the musicians. I remember one infamous speech made by a father of the bride about how his daughter got the last good man and the rest of us single ladies were doomed. I remember when one wedding ran out of champagne about 2/3 of the way through the guests.
Honestly, people are NOT going to remember; a lot of them won't even notice. This isn't a bad thing - if anything, it's a chance to save yourself headaches, money and blistered fingers from DIY overload. :)
In the end, for me it boils down to: only spend time or money on it if it means something to you and you have a good reason for wanting it, or if it takes care of your guests (like enough food, etc.) If something is done well, it usually goes without being noticed - it's only when something is messed up that it really gets noticed! So not being remembered just means it was good enough :)
I remember bad food, too loud music with no variety, and squished tables and seating. I hate when people try to squeeze too much in to a small space and just trying to get to the dance floor, you have to keep aplogizing for people having to move their chairs so you can get through.
I don't remember the invitations, unless they are beautifully done, or the centerpieces, unless they are in the way.
It seems like what we remember are the things that didn't go so well! I understand that. I was about to say that, Oh, I remember the paper products, but then I realized it was because I thought they were...well, what I wouldn't do for my wedding.
Thanks for the replies! They've eased me as I haven't bought too much for the wedding yet (on our teeny budget, nonetheless). Keep the replies coming! :)
i don't remember any centerpiece(except for the last wedding we went to since it's still fresh in my mind) at any wedding i've ever been too. i was just going to use a centerpiece the venue offered but FH wants us to make our own(which are going to be super simple anyways) which surprised me.
I remember invitations if there is something special about them. Like I remember my best friend's invitations because they made them and printed them themselves with something lke a Yudu.
Escort cards, table numbers, linens, place settings, even centerpieces... they're all lost on me. And I even forget almost all favors.
I remember whether or not I had fun. I remember the look on the bride and groom's faces as she walked down the aisle. I remember the bride's dress. Those are the kinds of things I remember after the fact.
I don't remember much about the weddings I've been to except memories of talking to people, the dance floor and having fun at the after parties.
I always remember the flowers at the ceremony site, but never at the reception (maybe I get distracted by the food?). I also always remember specific songs played during the ceremony, but at long as they're not horrible, I won't remember what was played at the reception (once again, food probably to blame).
I remember the food at the reception (duh!), and the general feel of them. Oh, and I <3 invites, so I almost always remember then unless they're really generic.
Isn't it kind of funny? We spend hours and hours pouring over decor and this and that and then when it comes to the actual day, most of the things the we spent soo much time/effort/money on, the guests won't even remember. Honestly, the things I personally remember most is the reception and the party lol.
I think now that I'm planning my wedding I remember more than I used to. But I definitely used to never remember the cake, the favours (would never actually take them home), the decor, etc.
I definitely remember -
Centerpieces
General impressions of the food
DJ vs. band
Elaborate-ness of the cocktail hour
Whether there was a huge gap between ceremony and reception
Open bar or not (and whether it switched to cash bar at some point in the night)
Whether there were favors - what kind
I sort of remember -
Invitations
Bride's dress
Bridesmaids dresses
The cake - what it looked like and the flavor
Bouquets
I couldn't tell you -
Ceremony flowers, "extra" flowers (cake table, place card table, etc)
Place cards
Table numbers (unless it's very unique)
Guest book
Whether liquor was mid range vs. top shelf
Whether they did bouquet/garter toss
Most people's first dance songs (if it's not something I already recognize)
Boutonnieres and mom's corsages (what they were, how nice)
The cake toppers
I never remember the cake. I'm always too full (or a little too tipsy) by that point in the night.
I usually remember:
The bride's dress
Bridesmaids dresses
Overall decor (how nice everything looked, but I don't remember specific details)
Decor that stands out the most to me: lighting (uplights, white christmas lights), ceiling decorations, TALL centerpieces
How good the food was
If it was open bar or not
How fun it was (if they played good music, if everyone was dancing)
How organized it was (I went to one wedding this year where nothing was announced -the speeches, first dance, cake cutting all happened without anyone telling the guests!)
If the ceremony or reception were too long or too short
I remember different things from different weddings-- If it is something that i see and think "oh that's really cool" or "oh thats not so pretty" than i am more likely to remember it. So i guess it depends on if it stands out to me or if it is something i have seen many times before.
I will preface this by saying that I haven't been to a TON of weddings, and I haven't been to any in over a decade so part of it is just a matter of time making me forget..
But I really don't remember much at ALL! I should answer by telling you what I DO remember because what I do NOT remember is huge!
I remember a close friend's wedding being in December, right before Christmas, and being kind of annoyed because it was a really busy time for me and it was not at all convenient to stop and find a gift and attend her wedding. I do remember she had an awesome 30's style dress though, and her bridesmaids wore black velvet. She had a really awesome reception location in an old mansion. I don't remember what food was served or any of that. I don't even remember eating! Though I am sure I did.
I remember another wedding that I was MOH and we had to wear acid washed denim dresses with pink shoes. Yeah, it was the 80's.
I remember my BFFs late 80's wedding for the horrid pink satin puff sleeved dresses (complete with huge butt-bow) with matching shoes that we had to wear, . Again I was MOH. I remember that somehow, my BFF's makeup and her dress reminded me of Nancy Spungen in the wedding dress in "Sid & Nancy" in that "My Way" scene. I also remember vowing to never tell her this for fear she'd slap me. God, I am totally dating myself here huh?
I remember someone's wedding where the favors were ribbons, like when you win first prize at school and get those satin ribbons to pin on your shirt. Well their favors were those, in white satin with their names and date and some bit of a poem printed in gold and I remember thinking "What are these for, exactly??"
I also remember the ceremonies more than anything, and crying often cuz i'm sentimental like that!
Well, you are going to get a lot of different responses b/c people pay attention to different things! I always save my invites, for example, and can recall each and every one of them. But here's a list
-centerpieces
-table linens/china etc.
-the wine
-what I ate (unless it was really good or really bad)
-the cake (it's always cut on the middle of the dance floor; you can't see it really, and then it just appears as a slice on your dessert plate later. And none of them were really anything to write home about. Same goes for "cake acoutremnets"--the cake knife, cake stand, topper etc.)
-any of the bouquets
-favors
Honestly, the memorability of a wedding corresponds most with how well I knew the couple getting married. It really doesn't have to do with whether their napkins were monogrammed or if Emeril catered.
I had one friend stressing about her candy buffet for months...and I went to her wedding...and never even SAW the thing...she must have placed it in a corner or something...I guess it doesnt help that I really dont like candy...lol.
I don't remember any centerpieces, bouquets/boutonnieres, invitations, favors, chairs, table linens or, believe it or not, the food!
I do remember the wedding dress, the reception site and whether or not we had fun! Which is mostly up to the people and the DJ, as far as I'm concerned. :)
I don't notice anything decor-related, to be honest. I remember the bouquets and bridesmaid dresses from the wedding I was a bridesmaid in, but couldn't recall those from any other wedding. Place settings, centerpices, escort cards - totally couldn't recall. I only remember the invitations because my fiance never throws anything out, so they're still taking up space in our apartment. Granted, I am the type of person who can't be bothered to decorate my apartment so I am really not inclined to notice or care about that stuff.
I do notice the food - we still talk years later about what weddings had good and bad food. The music/DJ/band if it's specifically terrible or awesome. The ceremony and the venue. I sometimes remember the bride's dress, but half the time I look at a piccture and realize I am remembering a totally different dress than what she actually wore.
I dont remember much about the cake.
I usually only fully remember things if they were really, really awesome or really, really hideous. For example, I only remember the centerpieces at one wedding because they looked incredibly tacky. Or, at my cousin's wedding (I don't really see this cousin all the time), she had it at a country club. People were getting up in the middle of the ceremony to refill their drinks! This was over two years ago, and my dad and I still talk about how weird it was.
I usually remember if I liked the food or not, if the atmosphere was fun and relaxed, if it was a cool venue, and if I liked the dresses.
Before I became a bride-to-be, I will admit I only noticed centerpieces, aisle decor, and anything that was unusual. I did appreciate seeing some pictures of the couple . . . other than that I didn't pay too much attention to the details.
Things I remember:
- details, really the lack thereof. Last year our best friends got married and all they had for centerpeices was an ugly candle sitting on a mirror. It was the blandest wedding I have ever been to.
- djs, I always remember if they were fun, I can even remember some of their names
- food, I have yet to go to a sit down wedding where the food was really good. But at a cocktails wedding a few months ago, the hors dourves were awsome.
- drinks, nothing irritates me more than when I have to pay to attend a celebration. I don't mind paying for cocktails, but for goodness sake, why am I paying for a soda.
- the dress, it is something I can remember about every wedding I have ever been to.
Things I don't remember:
- paper products
- favors
- bridesmaids dresses (even some of the ones I wore)
I hardly remember anything about other couples' ceremonies after a few years have gone by, but other than that, I pretty much remember every single thing. This is almost certainly a factor of the fact that a) I haven't been to many weddings, and b) I take a lot of photos at the reception, so my memories build from looking at the photos, whereas I would never take photos during a ceremony. So, those memories fade more quickly.
I asked my best friend what she had for centerpieces at her wedding when I was planning mine, and told me she had nothing! Totally didn't even notice. Mind you, I was at the head table with the wedding party, but I remember walking around and visiting my DH at his table.
The only centrepiece I remember is one that had goldfish, because I kept thinking it was so mean and people were pouring booze and salt and papper in there, and several of them died in the course of the evening.
After my wedding, I went back and looked at pictures from my brother's wedding in 2006. For the first time, I noticed that
What I did remember:
I remember the food, the music, the brides dress, and the main centerpeice part (the flowers or candles, whatever the main thing is.)
I can't remember any linens at all for any wedding i've been to.
Can't remember dishware,glasses anything like that.
And I rarely remember what the bridesmaids dresses.
I remember the venue, the food, the dj, and whether the bride was a multi-dress bride (I seriously don't really notice her dress, only if she changed and how many times).
I don't remember the decor at all, which is why we're spending very, very little on it. The only time I notice centerpieces is if they are too tall and I can't see the other people at the table.
I remember and actually look forward to:
**The bride's dress and total look
**Whether the food is good and if there is enough of it, or do I remember being hungry most of the day
**Bride and BM bouquet (not necessarily reception flowers)
**The venue - is it somewhere amazing
**Emotion of the day - are people happy, does the day have a family vibe, or are people stressed and hurried and not getting along
I sometimes remember these, if they are special and well done (not run of the mill):
**Paper products
**Styling of the day overall (colors, themes, decor, texture, etc)
**Reception Flowers - usually just if they're in good condition, not necessarily type or color. I've seen so many wilting and browning wedding flowers.
Don't remember:
the cake (sometimes I don't even see it)
escort cards or placecards
ceremony flowers, including bride's bouquet
reception flowers, for the most part--but I think I would remember if there were NO flowers
plates, glasses
favors
Do remember:
bridesmaids' outfits
bride's outfit
music/dancing
food
venue
getting from the ceremony to the reception--if we had transportation or if we had to get there ourselves
hmm...probably can't remember anything after the 3rd round of cocktails... :o) jk
I think it depends on the overall decor and aethestic of the wedding and wedding venue. The weddings that I've been to where I'm extremely impressed and where the decor is so beautifully done and professionally and stylishly executed, I can remember almost everything (the table set up, the floral arrangements and centerpieces, menu cards, silverware etc). Otherwise, I can't say that I really remember or pay much attention to the small things. But just because some little detail isn't memorable, doesn't mean that it took away from my fun and enjoyment of the wedding!
I don't ever remember centerpieces if they are the normal 'banquet' style: Large vase with mixed roses/hydrangea/filler.
Everything else I only remember if it's really good or really bad. Like I always remember when I was left starving due to a long ceremony that didn't start on time, a gap with no time to go get my own food then a cocktail hour with no food or not enough for everyone. I feel like the majority of weddings I go to don't have enough food at cocktail hour when people are the hungriest!
I know with wedding planning we obsess over certain things but to be honest some of the details are not even noticed.
what I dont remember:
-Dont remember The details of the brides gown, how much lace how much beading, I knew the drerss was not poofy and thats about it.
-Dont remember what her shoes looked like
-Dont remember what her nails looked like
What I do remember:
-The church had no decorations at all
-The reception hall have a overall nice look
-the tables set up was nice
-I was being served so that added elegance
-open bar
Honestly, all I remember is the cake, food, alcohol, and ceremony. Everything else has always been unimportant to me as a guest.
I remember the overall look and feeling of the day. If there's something annoying--like a long wait between ceremony/food--then I'll probably remember it.
Now that I'm getting married and planning a wedding, I notice more of the details. It's still mostly about the experience, though.
I only remember the brides dress, bridesmaids dress, centerpieces and the DJ. Everything else gets lost in the shuffle. Honestly, the Cake is the one thing I absolutely NEVER REMEMBER. I'm probably just gonna have a desert bar and save the hundreds of dollars wasted on a cake no one will eat. Just went to a Wedding yesterday and they spent a grand on the cake and about 10 people actually ate some.
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