What do you plan on / want to give you kids?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

In an ideal world, I’d want to be able to pay for all of my children’s educations out of pocket (no student loans). Obviously, that will depend on how well we do financially and how early we start saving for our future children, but that’s the goal.

We’d also most likely buy our kids a car (used) if they proved to be trustworthy and responsible. If they screwed up or crashed their car, though, they would not be getting another one.

I worked during high school (about 15-20 hours a week) for extra spending money (my parents paid for everything else) and I definitely want my kids to work, as I thought it taught me how to balance things very well and gave me a sense of responsibility.

My parents were decent savers, but FI’s are amazing savers (they also make a lot more money, so it’s easier). They not only paid for private school, college and grad school out of pocket for FI (and college for his two brothers), but have plans to leave him a very hefty inheritance. I would LOVE to be able to do that for my kids as well, but we probably won’t make nearly as much money as FI’s parents do.

Basically, I want to give my kids as much as I can while still instilling responsibility and hard work.

Oh, and I want to take my kids on great vacations. I think seeing the world at a young age is an awesome experience and one that I am glad I had growing up. 

Post # 4
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We plan on giving our kids room and board for eighteen years, and we will happily take on parental loans to help pay for college. Beyond that, I guess it will depend on our financial situation and our kids’ individual needs. 

My parents saved money for my brother and I while we were kids, but my dad got laid off when I was a teenager and couldn’t find work for a year; my college fund quickly became the “mortgage and groceries” fund. So while I’m all for saving money, especially knowing how much it’s needed in a crisis, I know that it’s impossible to say what will or won’t happen with it. 

Post # 5
Member
2827 posts
Sugar bee

I have two that are 4 and 5 years old.

Would definitely want to contribute to their college education. If I can’t pay all of it, I want to be able to pay half of it at least (hopefully they will get scholarships – Uggh).

I would love to buy each of them a car for college – nothing fancy, just basic and economical.  And, they can stay at home still if they are in college.  I would not mind at all (hopefully I have a house at that time and can fix up the basement…Ha!). 

Post # 6
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would like to pay for college, at least for a state school, and help with wedding regardless of gender. I may do more or less than that depending on finances and my child’s behavior. FOr example, I am not going to continue funding a party animal who can’t be bothered to pass his/her classes.

Post # 7
Member
2827 posts
Sugar bee

Oh, and I also want to give them the ‘gift’ of travel. Every year I want to be able to take them out of this country to see the world/how other people live. I am a single mom but I really would like to do this and will make it happen.

Post # 8
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Butterfly6:  I would love that too, letting them see the world. If they’re like me, they’ll love it too. I sponsor 2 kids in Guatemala who will be all grown by the time my kids are big enough for a trip like that, but will sponsor again if possible and have my children meet them when they’re all older.

Post # 9
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Food, clothing, shelter, school supplies, bus fees, dental & medical, hair cuts, yada yada. 

Want a phone? Earn it. Want to go to uni? Better start saving now! Want a car? Get a job. Need a car to get to your job? Get another job, and a bus pass. 

You may use the family computer, but if you think I’m buying you a laptop you are SOL! 

The one thing we hope to provide is a family trip to South America and the Galapagos so they can see how big and beautiful and amazing this world is, see where I spent some time growing up, and know what it means to live in a world of black and white have’s and have-nots, and why it’s important to prevent that sort of structure in our own country. 

My priority is to try my best not to be a burden on my children in my old age. I think it affects their lives much more greatly than having to pay for your own extras, and I do consider post-secondary education an extra. I can’t realistically give my child a car, an education, stuff they don’t need, AND properly fund my own retirement and elderly care. 

Post # 10
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Me and FI were jut talking about this! We plan setting back a certain percentage of income in a savings account monthly. 

We want to completely pay for their college/trade degree. If they go straight to work after high school, we will give them part of their savings to put down for a house, etc. And save the rest for if they have a rainy day.

We don’t want them to have to work during high school, but have conditions. Chores around the house must be done, we must see they are truthfully trying their best academically, must be respectful, and make good life decisions.

We will be buying them a car at 16, but only as long as they are  Following the above rules. 

Post # 12
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

In an ideal world, I would have been able to pay for my kid’s college.  However, being a single mom (who scraped by with minimal support from the ex), it was not possible.  She lived at home while attending college, and I paid for all her basics and extras, including clothes and phone.  I also paid for things like braces, camp, gadgets, etc.  She also had a major surgery as a teen and I paid for all out-of-pocket expenses after insurance.  I didn’t make her work while in high school or college; she concentrated on school.  She never needed a car as we live in a city with an excellent public transport system.  However, had she needed a car, I would have gotten her a modest car and paid for insurance.  She recently graduated and is working at a job she loves.

Post # 13
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@jesssamesssa:  I have a lot of dreams for what I want to provide for our future children. This is a huge factor in us deciding to only have 1-2 kids instead of 3-4. My parents had 3 kids, and we never really were that involved in activities. I want to start saving for each kid as soon as we find out we are pregnant. From age 3-6ish I would love if they can just explore different activities: dance, music, etc. to find their niche. My parents stuck me in gymnastics, and I hated it and never got good, but that was my only option. Hopefully they can pick 1-2 activities that they really love and want to pursue for a while. I’m hoping we can have about $30,000 saved up for each kid. Throughout that time we will probably use some of that for braces since I’m sure they’ll need them, a car, etc. We’d also use that for college if they chose to go, or if they didn’t an extended trip abroad or a down payment on a house. 

I want my children to work for what they have, but throughout high school and even now in college I don’t feel like I’m fully enjoying my experience. I could go abroad during college, but I would have to take out even more in loans. I have worked two jobs since my junior year of high school, and it just sucks having to choose between a four hour shift at work and your high school prom. I think it’s reasonable to expect teenagers to pay for eating out or clothing beyond what they need each season. I’d also like to help them start saving money of their own (perhaps matching what they are able to save each paycheck).

Post # 14
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I hope to give my kids the basics: food, clothing, shelter… aside from that, I’d like be able to give them some fun trips and vacations to look back on in their childhood that will hopefully continue when they become adults. I’d like to be able to pay for them to participate in activities (sports, music, drama etc) and I’d like to put money aside for that as sports equipment is VERY pricey.

My DH have already started putting money aside for potential college education for our kid(s) even though right now I’m only due with our first in July. We differ on how this would be handled: DH feels as though the $ we’d put towards a college education would be a loan our child would pay back interest-free. As someone who came out of school with gobs of debt, I feel like an investment in education is one that we shouldn’t expect back. Should our kids decide NOT to go to school, we might take the $ saved for an education and give it to them for a downpayment on a house or a wedding… but we’d leave that up to them. Again we differ on whether it would a be a loan or just their $ to do with as they wish.

Of course, this is us looking at our current financial state with two solid incomes, minimal debt thanks to paying so much of it off before kids, and no “snags” in our master plan!

Post # 16
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’d like to pay for my kids’ undergraduate degree, and I’d love to be able to travel with them each year.

I won’t buy them a car though.  I just would feel sick if something were to happen to them in that car (i.e. being a reckless 16 or 17 year old, or having reckless 16 or 17 year old passengers).  But that’s just my feeling.  I just keep picturing my best friend in high school, whose dad bought her a car the moment she got her license, and she got into accident after accident (minor ones, thankfully). No repercussions though.  Her parents would just pay the damages/deductables, and that was that.  She didn’t have a job, and her parents gave her a monthly ‘allowance’. 

I also know of another boy I grew up with whose parents bought him a car if he agreed to go to university close to home, and live at home.  He was speeding one day and flipped the car, and years later he’s still in a vegetative state.  

I don’t know – I guess a part of me would always feel guilty about that, rational or not.  

I am by no means putting down other people’s choices to do that for their children.  I just don’t feel comfortable with it.

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