Post # 1
I’ve read on here before about other bees experiencing people saying the weirdest things to them, as in it blows my mind that people don’t seem to have boundaries when it comes to pregnancy. I was caught off guard yesterday when our realtor of all people made a rude comment! I’m in the first trimester, but when I met with her I let her know that I was pregnant so that she’d understand why once my husband signs his residency contract in March we want to hurry up with finding a home. So she asks me when I’m due and I say July, and immediately she says “Well that was some poor planning!” because it is also the same month my husband starts his job as a pediatrician/internist. Now obviously the timing isn’t perfect, but I was totally caught off guard. I wanted to say “Well excuse me, but we didn’t have the luxury of planning because we’ve been trying to get pregnant for 3 years and it is an absolute miracle that I was able to conceive at all”. I would have thought that I wouldn’t take comments like these personally, but it sort of just hit me that way when she said it. Instead I just chuckled and went along with it. It totally blew my mind though that someone would say something like that! I guess they assume the majority of people get pregnant easily, I just happen to be whatever percentage that it was really hard for. Even my FIL made a comment when we told them and with them I thought I could be honest and I was in the process of saying “Well we had issues, so timing was never something we viewed as an inconvenience” and he was literally talking over me saying “Don’t tell me that! blah blah blah” I mean he was thrilled about the pregnancy but it was annoying when he was doing that.
Anyway we’ve told so few people that I’m sort of nervous more people are going to blab on about our apparent “poor planning” due to the baby being born that same month that DH starts work. Did you guys just get used to obnoxious comments or did you eventually tell people what you were really thinking? I’m not one at all to share my personal struggles with people so I know I can’t really make a come back when it comes to things like that, but it is hard to hear still when people have no idea what we’ve been through.
Post # 3
Not to mention that honestly I can cry over nothing right now with the shift in hormones so I don’t know if that is why I let it bother me or what!
Post # 4
“Wow, it’s really incredible what some people think is appropriate to say to a pregnant woman.”
Especially effective when paired with a cold stare.
Post # 5
Wow, time to get a new realtor. People say rude things – comeback with “We are so lucky to be blessed with two joyful occassions” or “Seriously, those words came out of your mouth? ” or “If you’re not comfortable being professional with us than we’ll have to change realtors”
I was pregnant with twins (hospitalized at 16wks) but people would say “giving birth to the whole fleet?” or “you look like you’re gonna pop right now” — It got to the point where I just looked at a man and said, “I pitty your wife, I’m sure it wasn’t worth the money”
So sorry you had to endure such harshness. I’m betting hubby has learned a lesson in speaking up rather than over. In my family it’s tradition that your husband buys you diamonds with each birth, the more he misbehaves/doesn’t defend wife the bigger or more you get (kind of gets them with guilt of their actions & labor pains) = can’t wait to see your bling.
Post # 6
With the sweetest smile possible, look the person in the eye and say, “Thank you for your unsolicited opinion”.
That should put them in their place!
Congratulations on your baby!
Post # 7
I really wish I was from the south so I could respond to rude remarks like that with “Well bless your heart!”
You could probably still say it anyway.
Post # 8
@ap_event: In this situation, you’d have to add something. “Bless your heart, didn’t anybody ever tell you a baby will come in its own time?” Or “Bless your heart, you’ve never tried to plan a baby have you? They don’t come when you want them to, they come when they’re good and ready.” Really neither of those sound just right but jumping right from “Well that was poor planning” to “bless your heart” doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Post # 9
Be honest with your respsone and blame it on hormones.
Post # 10
Post # 11
I would let her know she’s fired, and why. what an idiotic comment. Congrats on your pregnancy 🙂
Post # 12
@bloodgo1: I’d get a new realtor for sure! She doesn’t deserve commission with such a rude comment. How unprofessional! Sorry you had to deal with a comment like that:( I would have just laughed it off like you did and gotten DH to call later and fire her.
Post # 13
@bloodgo1: People are rude. I have let so many comments slide, and I will let them slide when they happen in the workplace, but I am starting to become more bold when it comes to family and strangers. I am tired of the unsolicited belly touchers, the chubby comments, everything. There are 4 people that can touch my belly: DH, my doctor, my nurse, and my mom. Everyone else is getting their belly touched back if they don’t ask. As far as comments, I am just going to start speaking up. If they are rude enough to say it I shouldn’t have to feel bad about saying something back.
Fire the realtor for her idiotic comment, and find someone new.
Post # 14
@bloodgo1: if someone asks an invasive question- are you having twins?- I think the best response is “why do you ask?” Not sure it works in this situation, but put it in your pocket for the future.
Post # 15
People are so ridiculous, but there are some great responses on here- I will have to remember those!
Post # 16
Please are rude and insenstive. I am a teacher and one of my parents yesterday asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I didn’t know so I just say I’m easy to shop for because I appreicate anything. And she responded with “well I know you’re easy that is how you got pregnant.” I almost cried. I’m married for Gods sake. I’m sorry people are making comments to you. People are just don’t think these days before they take it seems.